I was just cleaning it and it went off!!!
Join the #1 Art Workshop - LevelUpJoin Premium Art Workshop

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: I was just cleaning it and it went off!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The Frozen North (Canada)
    Posts
    1,180
    Thanks
    382
    Thanked 416 Times in 201 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0

    Red face I was just cleaning it and it went off!!!

    Hey folks,

    I'm just starting work on a piece, and I want to get you wonderful guys and gals involved as early on in the process as I can. I am planning to submit this piece to SPECTRUM, so it's gotta be as good as I can possibly get it... which means I need all the help I can get.

    So I apologize for the rough quality of the piece so far, but if you've got any crits regarding composition, light direction, anatomy, etc... please let me know!

    Attached Images Attached Images    
    Last edited by KarylGilbertson; December 9th, 2009 at 02:25 PM.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Posts
    2,327
    Thanks
    557
    Thanked 708 Times in 426 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Hey, Karyl! I have a little bit to say about the piece, but don't worry about apologizing! You're at a rough stage, so it'll look rough at first. That's fine!

    You have yourself an idea, but by the sounds of it you don't have it solid quite yet. If it worries you a little, try a bunch of thumbnails first and see if there is another alternative to how you're approaching this idea.

    So what exactly IS the idea here? This sword wielder looks rather devilish in her smile. Did she just slice through the person in the shadows? Is there someone else she's smiling at, and why? Who is that person in the shadows? Perhaps we should see a little more of that victim.

    Right now what I'm seeing is a glimpse of a scene. A time after the fact that she possibly slashes this victim. Why is the person still screaming? The girl looks like she'd slashed him a little while ago (she had time to rest the blade into her hand); but he looks like he JUST got wounded and it REALLY hurts. That being said, perhaps he also needs a little more strain and tension in his face. If he got slashed, he's taking it well. Looks like he's calling for someone, actually.

    So, in the end I suggest you think a little more about what you're trying to convey in the picture. It has the potential to be nicely dramatic, powerful even! Just flesh out more of what you want it to say to viewers! Good start!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Jazz For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The Frozen North (Canada)
    Posts
    1,180
    Thanks
    382
    Thanked 416 Times in 201 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    @Jazz: Thanks for the crit! After reading that, I realize that a lot of my elements aren't really clear.. I tried to fix that somewhat in the next version, but I may have to make more radical adjustments, we'll see.

    Here's the update...

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Blacksburg, VA
    Posts
    2,555
    Thanks
    1,329
    Thanked 748 Times in 663 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    So I have to say the title lead me here. Fun .

    Right now the shadow created by one of the columns (on our left) is matching up vertically with the left most part of her arm and cloak. Brings attention from the wrong reasons- I'd suggest you simply shift it in a little. We don't see the actual column so it really doesn't matter if you fudge the shadows a bit.

    The shadow of the sword suggest she's holding the sword point closer to the wall than she herself is positioned. The main problem I see is that the sword seems to be parallel with the canvas here and the sword doesn't appear placed in the proper perspective that way. The best way I can think to fix that is to simply move the shadow cast by sword/cleaning cloth down a few smidges. I feel this would be a lot less painful than messing with the sword.

    Also- should the shadow of the sword not extend past the sword itself more? With a single light source like that most of the shadows should follow one another and how they're positioned- at least for the most part. If the shadow ends there it suggest the light source is not in the same place as it is when it hits the figure. I'm trying to find the easiest way to say this- I feel this sounds a little confusing. Look at the figure and the position of her shadow. now look at the sword and the position of its shadow. I dunno, looks off to me.

    I'd make the dead guy just a bit bigger. Just to make the woman a bit smaller, ya know? They're about the exact same size from what we see of him, and that's getting weird, at least for me.

    Do you have a reference of this? I'd love to see it if you do. Pretty ambitious without one.

    "She took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"

    LOOK AT MY WEBSITE!
    LOOK AT MY SKETCHBOOK!
    LOOK AT MY BLOG!
    LOOK AT MY DEVIANT ART PAGE!
    LOOK AT MY FINALLY FINISHED PAGE!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Quigleyer For This Useful Post:


  7. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The Frozen North (Canada)
    Posts
    1,180
    Thanks
    382
    Thanked 416 Times in 201 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Thanks for the crit man. Despite your worries, I think I understand what you mean about the shadows, including the bit about the shadow of the sword. I'll make some adjustments.

    And I haven't got any ref- YET. I don't usually use it (laziness more than anything) but I think I'm going to need it for this project.. Probably shoot my own to save sanity.

    Thanks again!

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Athens, Greece
    Posts
    551
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 228 Times in 148 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Ok, first of all, DO use reference. You'll need it to get the anatomy and light and shade correct.

    The thing I noticed that was weird to me, even from the first version is the light, or rather it's direction, isn't consistent. You generally have it coming from the left of the image, hitting the girl directly from the side yes? But, the shadows on the wall there have quite a few faults and make it look weird.

    Here is what's confusing:

    1)The shadows and the corpse do not help (in the way they've been designed) create the illusion of depth. I do not know if the wall is 3 feet away from the girl or 3 inches. In the second version it looks better because of the blood but generally the problem's still there, you can rely on texture to save the day yes, but if not, there is another problem.

    2)What is the direction of the wall? I say this, not because it is important at this stage but because it's the next thing that strikes my mind when I look at the image, because there are elements that conflict with each other. The corpse tells us that the wall is either parallel to the picture plane or at a slight angle going into the picture plane from left to right. But the blood tells us the wall is tilted in opposite direction (or that it's parallel to the picture plane).

    Establishing this is important because you basically have a flat background near your character, if the background confuses me, the whole thing will, and if it looks confusing now, it most probably will when it's finished also. The viewer should be able to tell what the wall is doing, not because it's important yet, but because if we can't then it will confuse us and we'll spend more time wondering what is wrong with your image rather than admiring it.

    Lastly, the shadows play so many tricks that they do even more damage because, not only do they not help solidify the direction and placement of the wall in our minds, but they also create one more conflict which is...

    3)What is the viewing angle? This is the last thing that struck me. Why? The girl is standing straight up. Ok that is good. But, the shadows in the background confuse me. They are tilted, which means that the light is either coming through the windows of the Leaning Tower of Piza, or we are viewing the image with a tilt, but the girl isn't tilted. Why?

    One could argue that the shadows and light aren't almost parallel to the wall as they try to suggest in some parts, but come from an angle parallel to the girls body and from a high point. In that case the shadows must be redesigned, enlongated along their width and lower parts, on the wall, and also with softer edges (at least a bit) on the right sides.

    I hope I'm not coming across as harsh or anything, the idea is ambitious, there are many elements in here that are tougher to put in an image succesfully than one might imagine. Making a character against a flat plain, and making it all read well, making everything interesting and setting up a story, a scene and giving the proper illusion of depth, isn't as easy as it sounds, under these conditions. In many cases I've found a wall to be tougher than an elaborate background. This goes to show that learning anatomy and 'shading', the most popular demands of beginners, is just a scratch on the surface, there's loads more, stuff that we never even imagine at first, that need to be seen, tried and understood.

    Don't scrap this image, it will be a challenge that may very well teach you plenty. Gather some reference, take pictures yourself if need be. It will pay off. Use your anatomy referencea and also look for similar images that deal with the same technical problems, see the solutions others came up with.

    And lastly, I will pass on something another memeber of these here fine forums passed on to me recently, Mr Kev Ferrara. In a crit of his on a WIP of mine he told me to close my eyes and dream of the picture more. I suggest you do the same. Most of what I've pointed out are technical stuff. But, to make sure they don't take away the essence of the image, dream more about this image also, note your vision down and use that as a foundation on which to build.

    "Don't judge a book by it's cover" Frank Frazetta 1928-2010
    RIP Frank.

    DA gallery http://michaelsyrigos.deviantart.com/gallery/

    CA Sketchbook http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=131601
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Line For This Useful Post:


  10. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    The Frozen North (Canada)
    Posts
    1,180
    Thanks
    382
    Thanked 416 Times in 201 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Wow, Line, GREAT crit if I might say so.

    I tilted the shadows to make the composition more "dynamic"... I find my compositions can be quite plain and boring if I'm not careful, but now I see that while it is more dynamic, it is also more confusing and will have to be rethought.

    While reading your crit, I had a thought... What if I were to remove the corpse completely, leaving only a stain on the wall, leading down? It might be enough to connect to the character cleaning her sword, without adding unnecessary content and therefore confusion?

    What do you think...

    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  11. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Athens, Greece
    Posts
    551
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked 228 Times in 148 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    Ok here's the thing, the content you put or don't put in your picture can do either things, create confusion or help the composition and storytelling. That's why professionals insist you begin with a thumbnail.

    I remember El Coro writing in a recent crit that, if you can make a composition read well and look pleasing, with only the major elements of course, in a 2x2 inch thumbnail, it will work when you've made it a large detailed piece.

    So, if I were you, I'd put down the tablet for a while and pick up the paper and pencil, our 'thinking tools' (not my expression), and try the few variations to the composition you are thinking of. Move things around, try slightly different angles, add and remove stuff, see what works and what comes closer to the thing you want your image to say. Then take the two or three thumbs that come close to it and make larger versions, like 4x4 inch ones, and make tonal studies of the whole image. Then try some color studies. You'll then be more confident about what version to use and how to develop the image.

    "Don't judge a book by it's cover" Frank Frazetta 1928-2010
    RIP Frank.

    DA gallery http://michaelsyrigos.deviantart.com/gallery/

    CA Sketchbook http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=131601
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Line For This Useful Post:


  13. #9
    Bullsey's Avatar
    Bullsey is offline Made by blending lemon and darkness Level 3 Gladiator: Catervarii
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    135
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 21 Times in 21 Posts
    Follows
    0
    Following
    0
    I can't add anything to the other crits except for the fact that compositionally it would help if she was looking down at her victim, taunting him while she cleans her sword. Yeah the wall thing really confuses me.

    WEEEEEE

    Sketchbook

    Quote Originally Posted by KILLA-CAT
    It's not supposed to look like a cat because it's actually it's a giraffe.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote  

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to Bullsey For This Useful Post:


Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •