crit needed
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  1. #1
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    crit needed

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  2. #2
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    crit needed

    project for class
    needs crit

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  3. #3
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    Well, at the moment it's a bit boring. I can see where you're going, something along the lines of the resolute bear guy starring off into the distance. And it's a fairly tried and true concept for an interesting piece, well used doesn't necessarily mean bad after all. That said, for it to work it needs to be very well executed I think. It looks to me as though your figure's almost smack-dab in the middle of the image which is a tad boring, you might want to push him off to the left a little and have more landscape stretching off to the right. After all, is it really important that we see allot of the ledge he's standing on? Next, we have no middle ground. I get that it's a snow storm or at least a flurry and stuff is indistinct but in that case we really shouldn't be seeing the background either, the simple solution seems like a nicely rendered flurry swirling around mr bear and growing slowly more indistinct. Finally, there's the figure itself. Since he's so dominant in the image I think he needs to be as perfect as you can make him and while I like the details I think the structure's flawed. The hands and feet have some major issues for one, they're hard to draw but they really need to be write and at the moment they're lumps. As a whole the figure seems indistinct and while it wouldn't be defined or anything because of the fur for it to be convincingly indistinct the fur needs much more attention, it doesn't appear to have volume and fluff right now. Best of luck to you and keep working

    I have nothing interesting to say but here's my sketchbook, perhaps you'll think I've drawn something interesting XD http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=167964
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    Tons of dead compositional space. Crop it big time.

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    Very good work, excellent concept the background looks great.

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    Yep, nothing wrong with the image that I see. The only nit-pick is to maybe discard the squiggly lines in favor of more detail on the mountain peaks.

    Was there any specifics that the assignment called for? If not, then you're good to go.

    If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all. -Michelangelo

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    Hey looks good! I like the idea, I do agree with the other guys that you need to crop it tighter for the composition to work. Maybe you could fix his stance a bit too, legs further apart, a more stoic stance perhaps? Right now he looks like he's going to walk off the cliff.

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  8. #8
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    stoph is offline Registered User Level 15 Gladiator: Spartacus' Hoplomachi
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    if a crit is needed it should maybe be in the critique section, but im not about to sweat the small stuff

    1. it's right hand (furthest from viewer) appears perspectively larger than the nearer hand, which throws you a bit.

    2. his feet are very long for a bear, but if we're talking a bear/man hybrid then thats probably not all that important.

    3. his armour isnt wrapping around his body the way it should. either shave some off the left side (left of screen), or make more of his right shoulder visible

    4. may want to attempt to distinguish between fur, metal and fabric by way of highlights, shadows and textures. if its metal, there'll be a sharp and defined sheen. if its fur, it will be more diffused. get some reference for these.

    5. the entire image is a little static, so maybe it would benefit from some longer locks of fur being blown in the wind, perhaps from right of screen to left of screen. think of adding some swirling snow at his feet.

    6. to be honest, i think the image would be more imposing and powerful if he were to have his feet planted in the ground, a little over a shoulder-width apart. give him that sense of steadfastness and strength.

    whats the project? could you be more specific?

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    the project was just to create a portfolio piece, so we could do basically anything we wanted.

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    I think Stoph got a lot of it down, I noticed there is a major tangent with the mountain behind the bear and his head, the second mountain from the right of screen slopes down and continues to slope along his face, that is a glaring tangent that can be easily fixed and will help in giving the background depth.

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    better?

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    A few things that I noticed.

    A majority of your brush strokes on the bear man go from the upper right to the lower left. So I think if you work on making the strokes define the forms that would help.

    Also the size of your strokes on the bear are all about the same size. I have alt+ctrl mapped to my tablet to quickly change brush size in Corel Painter.

    I think some more variety in your mark making would help. Find other ways to use your hand, wrist, and arm while drawing.

    The right hand needs a redraw, the thumb position and hand size are off.

    The feet seem too long and need more definition. Do they have claws? Would they actually be on top of the snow? or buried in it?

    A lot of things are reading arbitrarily, metal, cloth, and hair need different types of rendering. Make sure you use reference when working, it really helps define things.

    Also the transparent circle brush stroke over the foot bothers me.

    The background is nice.

    This seems more like a sketch and it is nice for a sketch. For a portfolio piece I think it needs a lot more rendering.

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  13. #13
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    giving him some kind of weapon could be cool, but the way you've done it doesn't really work. he's basically presenting the weapon, rather than wearing it or using it in a feasible manner. i think it'd be cooler if he was in thought with the weapon draped lazily to his side. considering the environment, he'd probably need to occasionally scout around a bit before proceeding, or he'd end up lost in the tundra. it'd be pretty easy to tweak his posture a bit to have him looking out and possibly figuring in his head, rather than just sitting in the middle of the picture with no apparent intent or purpose.

    just my few cents.

    -: [ sketchbook | sour.org ] :-
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  14. #14
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    thanks guys

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