P.O.W.! Challenge 35--Okaaaay...I'm (We're) Screwed... - Page 2
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Thread: P.O.W.! Challenge 35--Okaaaay...I'm (We're) Screwed...

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by arttorney View Post
    I'll try to help tomorrow morning. Today I have to meet a deadline for a legal client.

    What does your father do, if I may ask? P.M. if you don't want to tell the world. I've got some connections and knowledge in software, legal/financial, contracting, real estate, government, trucking, and biotech/pharma.
    Oh, it's fine... He's a trucker. He got schooled here in Texas about a year ago I think. I think the company's name was Heartland. I'm not sure what he's going to do now. He was out today searching a bit. My mom is trying to get into the publishing department in American Airlines, but is having so-so luck. She doesn't get paid much. We were going to buy a house here, but after he lost his job, it's probably not going to be possible.

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  2. #32
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    Ah. An ex landlord and legal client of mine has a trucking company that contracts for Fedex ground delivery as between LA and Sacramento, but even if I found he had something for your dad, it's probably geographically inconvenient. I hope he can find something closer to home. I know shipping is tough. My firm lives on Pacific rim commerce, and the times are lean. I got my deadline thing done just now but my brain is fried. I'll look close at your pages tomorrow morning and see if I can find anything productive to say.

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by arttorney View Post
    Ah. An ex landlord and legal client of mine has a trucking company that contracts for Fedex ground delivery as between LA and Sacramento, but even if I found he had something for your dad, it's probably geographically inconvenient. I hope he can find something closer to home. I know shipping is tough. My firm lives on Pacific rim commerce, and the times are lean. I got my deadline thing done just now but my brain is fried. I'll look close at your pages tomorrow morning and see if I can find anything productive to say.
    Thank you so much.

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  5. #34
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    pencils for panels 3-5 and layout for the first page.

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  7. #35
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    Velderia

    Quote Originally Posted by velderia View Post
    If you guys can give me critiques, that would help. I'm going to try to get these pages out to Dark Horse by the end of December.
    i'm not much for words, at least in the critique departement. the main things that come to my mind about your work......
    A:i love your penciling style it has an amazing personality. it's dark and gritty. it's like goth girl manga.........imp i would focus more on developing it to a more rendered state it would probably sell on a black&white level.
    B: however in your later panels yout coloring becomes over powering,imp it loses it darkness. IMP i would either lose it all together or use selective tones or play with your saturation an color layers.....hope this helps

    good luck!!!

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  9. #36
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    Recent page - page 7

    Name:  dec14PREpage07.JPG
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  10. #37
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    ay hees a wip for ya lad

    if u drop out now, dis cuddly bear will give you cookies!!! no milk included!

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    Hey now, this looks like fun. Ummm... Here.



    Just a WIP mind you. There's going to be a page two and maybe three. but yeah. Critiques are welcome and encouraged. too much camera play?

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  13. #39
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    Velderia- For me there was a rough jump that I think is just because your fourth page needs to be fleshed out. Between the prospect of going to a cool new place and waking up with robot arms I got a little lost, but I think it is on that fourth page where there was either going to be an accident or else some cues about how the scene with her friend was some kind of flashback dream and she has been in the hospital all along.

    I had thought the pacing was going a little slow until I figured out what was going on and then I realized that the robotic arms and legs would have appeared in the art earlier than they were mentioned. This is an area where development of the images is definitely important to the development of the story. The reader will notice the robotic arms and legs, particularly if they are cool, and read on at least for a page or two trying to figure out where they came from. The main character freaking out about her own robotic arms and legs will be a good cue for the reader that this is not natural or expected for the main character (and that will help smooth them over the bump about "WTF did those things come from? She looked fine a second ago." They'll realize that it is about to be explained pretty soon.

    Of course, in keeping with the typical manga storyline, the explanation given by the doctors is probably only on the surface, and there is something else evil or creepy going on in the background that is your broader story arc. That's cool. You need that bigger umbrella to tie all the minor conflicts together and led the readers through from one page to the next. I hope you keep working on this.

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    I reworked panel 2 on page 1. It's what I wanted in the first place, but couldn't get it to work. I was able to reuse the original panel on the next page. I add a third page to lighted the story a bit.

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  17. #41
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    Recycling is a civic duty Andrew. Awesome. Press on. You too Oni Rem. I'm counting on you.

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    am trying, am trying!!


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  19. #43
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    I think I'm going to start over. There's a huge lack of being consistent in my pages. That's not good. I hate it.

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  20. #44
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    Three cups of coffee later:
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    Edit: In other news, I just found out that my dad found a new job. Yay!

    Last edited by velderia; December 18th, 2009 at 10:17 AM.
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  22. #45
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    velderia: food for thought..... i like the changes you made artisticly. however i think you should tie in the boy and the girl in an earlier page before the hospital wake up...as if they had some sort of big team physical contest in a few day's....hence he returns to see her state of bieng......i'm we're screwed....or something like that
    on a side note the docter giving the sedative on the third page seems menacing like he's giving her poision i think it would have more of a reallistic effect if his expression was cold an emotionless like this is just another day at the office....
    oni rem i love your line work and style........but were's everything else i would like to see your pages before the last day.
    andrewrichie great classical style....i'm not sure how it ties in with the label...unless it's 'screwed' as in sex with a mermaid........wich is awsome
    xerxysgood start your probably more pages by now but have considerd making that your last page....i can just here the line now "If that's santa we're screwed"

    speaking of coffee i just bought some folder's "gourmet" blend there's nothing "gourmet" about it.....damn!!!

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    I was going for totally screwed as the realization of no hope of survival or of certain death.

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    Hey :)

    Great stuff everyone. Seeing all yer entires makes me wanna rework mine. But there is not enough time and I am too lazy. I would appreciate it if you guys could give me some crits on my entry.
    Oh and
    xerxyz. Awesome page man. Love the action. Also the big santa guy is real menacing. waiting to see the rest of your entry.
    velderia How many pages is your comic finally going to have? I like all yer pages so far. I really liked yer colouring on the first two pages you submitted. Though the story telling is better in the new pages.

    Last edited by Hari Gopinathan; December 19th, 2009 at 01:12 AM.
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  27. #48
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    man u guyz gotta stop encouraging me to go on...man now i gotta draw, damn you hahaa


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    hee is me second page

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    Immmm not going to be able to make this one. Im always the last to get news and it happened again, Im going to be out of the country for 3 weeks and I didnt even know my family bought me a ticket.

    but after those 3 weeks, Im definitely participating, I think, for the foreseeable future.

    Those entries are Specatacular btw! shaping up really well!!

    Last edited by nauvice; December 19th, 2009 at 02:21 PM.
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  30. #51
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    Small update. I'm so tired. I was aiming for 8. Sketched about 7. I might not be able to finish more than 3 for this challenge. I'll still work on this if it's good.

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  32. #52
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    I... rushed a bit. It's definitely no where near good enough for Dark Horse. I'm still not happy with it, but for P.O.W., I think it works.

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    Oh and... Something to cheer you up after creepy, possibly pedo, syringe Dude injects Violet with a high dose of Ziprasidone:



    Last edited by velderia; December 20th, 2009 at 08:24 PM.
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    Ilaekae Is the deadline over or has it been extended?
    EVERYBODY (other than j.s. sabastian & velderia) who posted WIPs---Attorney, xerxys, AndrewRitchie, Oni Rem----------- Where are your final entries????????
    I am sick and tired of waiting.....I've been checkin this page regularly for the past few days...
    Aren't you guys submitting your finals or wat?????????????

    Last edited by Hari Gopinathan; December 21st, 2009 at 01:18 PM.
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  35. #54
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    Come back to us Ilaekae! We have cookies!

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  37. #55
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    Don't fret peeep's.... he's probably just last minute Christmas shopping....HARI.....p.o.w is challenge enough as it is...some people are very sensetive of there work and want it be to there own standerds and that, just to get an entry in on that aspect, is a mountain on it's own....also some people (like me) bite off more than they can chew and that's another reason final's don't make it, I failed two challenges on that alone...but i think the main reason people don't finish is time or time managemeant....p.o.w for people who actually have lives (unlike me) making a comic is sparetime thing.....and it being a holiday season i am sure the're busy enough as it is.....hell i'm amazed at how many people entered.... so......relax....I'm sure kitty will put things in order soon enough! -to those who celebrate it Merry Christmas -peace

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  39. #56
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    Ilaekae is offline P.O.W.! Leader, Complete Idiot, Super Moderator Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    I'm here. Starting to get the poll together, so if anyone has anything to post, do it now. Nice work, everyone. This last go-'round convinced me to continue this Challenge, so...we're gonna do just that, with a stress on "professional" from now on...

    On a more dangerous note, a new challenge will be posted tonight that will both mark a slight change of direction and a new more professional approach pushed here. I've been a bit lenient over the last year to allow as many people as possible to get a taste of comics and the problems associated with them, so I think it's time we got serious and whipped you guys up to the next level. From now on...you're all dead meat...heeheehee...

    No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary

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    My finals are in the form of three pages edited into my posts on page 1. I did that because putting basically the same images over and over again sucks up all the bandwidth. Give Ilaekae a break because he is very busy IRL right now.

    You all are great. I usually prefer to give the more specific crits somewhat later so it doesn't look so much like I am trying to affect poll results.

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    Thank you, arttorney. Things have been a little hectic in RL lately, but 99% of it has been resolved, so I'm going to be racing into the new year full speed with some new and exciting stuff here, and I'll be able to be here on a regular basis finally.

    Thanks to all of you who have patiently waited for me to post, and put up with my constant disappearances over the last few months. It's been one of those years you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy...and it's finally over.

    No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary

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  45. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by j.s. sabastian View Post
    Don't fret peeep's.... he's probably just last minute Christmas shopping....HARI.....p.o.w is challenge enough as it is...some people are very sensetive of there work and want it be to there own standerds and that, just to get an entry in on that aspect, is a mountain on it's own....also some people (like me) bite off more than they can chew and that's another reason final's don't make it, I failed two challenges on that alone...but i think the main reason people don't finish is time or time managemeant....p.o.w for people who actually have lives (unlike me) making a comic is sparetime thing.....and it being a holiday season i am sure the're busy enough as it is.....hell i'm amazed at how many people entered.... so......relax....I'm sure kitty will put things in order soon enough! -to those who celebrate it Merry Christmas -peace
    Guess you are right j.s
    This is the first time I have taken part in POW and I guess the excitement just got to me.
    I meant no disrespect.
    I really liked some of the stuff I saw and genuinely wanted all of those people to be able to complete their entries before the deadline.(Hope they are able to post em before the poll)

    And its awesome to see that Ilaekae is back.

    Season's greetings to all!!!

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    ah sorry for not being able to finish :/
    i had the story going in my head and everything planned out...but

    there are always things getting in my way from drawing, next time for sure i hope to get a round finish


    ...after i get wasted for Christmas

    MERRY FOOKIN CHRISTMAS YA PANZY!!!


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