so this is what i am working on now. I need to do a two page spread that fits into a childrens story book, in this case "the Rag Coat" by Lauren Mills

This is the scene after the main character has been teased by her class mates cause her coat looks like crap from being made by scraps lying around her mother's workshop. She is a poor girl so that explains why her coat is in poor shape.
It's one of the first days at school so that awkwardness and not fitting in yet are feelings she must be feeling.
Anyways she explains that her coat isn't just made of rags but of memories and stories of hers and her class mates cause it turns out those rags are scraps from pieces of clothing and blankets which were made by her mother's workshop.
So basically she is wearing parts of her classmates lives.

How do you think i can improve this and does it get the message across?