Valkyrie 'crit please'

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  1. #1
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    Valkyrie 'crit please'

    still heading towards completing this but i would love to hear from your helpful critique.

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    Last edited by Agathe; September 26th, 2009 at 08:08 AM.
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  3. #2
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    To me, the biggest things that jump out... her feet, and her skirt. The skirt doesn't seem to lay right - and it also seems as if it is twisted somewhat.... Like the center seam is laying more on her hip than on her crotch.


    As for her feet.. They're to long, to me. At least.. It seems as if the thighs being so short (Yeh, they might need to be lengthened a bit too) makes the feet far to long. :?



    Side note: Flesh out her butt. The line doesn't seem to flow correctly there, as if her rump was concave.

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  4. #3
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    The proportions are a bit odd. For example her lower hald is on another scale to her upper part, and her proportions get bigger the further south you go. She has rather huge feet- and there's no reason for her to be on tip-toes. Also there are no cultural references which might identify her as a valkyrie. The bird head-dress is odd and impriactical as it would block her vision.

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  5. #4
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    i like the head dress. the waist down just need a little tweaking like what was said. chow chow. x

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  7. #5
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    I really like this but I think she would be better titled as an Amazon as opposed to a Valkyrie. Anyway, I played with this a bit .... I hope you don't mind. I changed some of the scale and contrast which I think were your biggest problems.

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  9. #6
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    The most unrealistic element is the shape and angle of the torso, looking again.

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  10. #7
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    Saisir la nuit i still havent reworked the lower torso yet and i know that things are wrong. but yes strongly agree with the feet lol. 'they are massive.'

    Razorleaf yes, thank you! an Amazonian look would be more fitting. but whilst researching valkyries, they are oftern accompanied by ravens. Thats why i chose to use the feathers and bird skull

    Dashinvaine some good points in your first post ill keep that in mind. but the rework of the posture as u showed would result in a with a pose that is relaxed and less striking than the outcome i would want.

    thanks again to all that posted. i dont usually let artwork disappear Abyss of this critique center forum, ill keep it alive with artwork updates.

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  11. #8
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    I recommend Dash's redline in this case. In addition to improving the anatomy, it leans the body to the side, making the spear look heavier and more powerful.

    EDIT: If you're aiming for a striking pose, you could keep the arch in the back and perhaps twist the torso a bit.

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  13. #9
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    heres an update! the weather is sooooo good outside! i really need to get out of the house. so ill come back to this this arve

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  14. #10
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    Have you seen this one?

    www.szejones.com

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  15. #11
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    what was the point of that attachment SadamHu?

    To the original topic, I have to agree with the first reply, but so far the rendering is looking superb

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  17. #12
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    SadamHu, i dont get what your trying to tell me
    Laxon, cheers mate thank you for your complement

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  18. #13
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    You're drawing a representational female figure, so the easiest thing to do would be for you to check out some reference.

    As Dashinvaine already pointed out, the torso is the main problem area.
    Shouldn't be too hard to find a female figure in 3/4 view, and then all you gotta do is copy it.

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  19. #14
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    ok sorry. Its just that when I saw your image it looked just like hers. So I thought I might give you this attachment to get some ideas from... ...Perhaps you have already got this image for reference.

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  20. #15
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    I gotta disagree with you boys ...... her original figure is perfect for the pose and her mid-section is just as it should be. When putting the shoulders back it thrusts out her chest, raising her rib cage ... thus the exageration. This is why her stomack would appear flattened in this way. I believe her stance represents authority and confidence. To change it in any way would deminish her role as Valkyrie.

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  22. #16
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    I'm not sure you have made any progress with that last update Agathe.

    You have started to add detail without addressing some of the main problems.

    In you latest update she looks like she's looks off balance and is about to tip over to her right side.

    Shoulders are too narrow, especially for a warrior woman.

    If anything, you should go back to the original pose. Although the torso and legs don't seem to connect well in that pose.

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  24. #17
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    I agree totally with Razorleaf. If you feel like to exaggerate, then please do so. Just keep in mind certain rules like the gravity. In your latest post, the figure seems like moving to the left (her right), which is okay, but if you want her to pose as a leader, i would go with the original pose.

    I think you can go and finish the tone, it still lack some deep-mid, mid-light and highlight

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  26. #18
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    If you think you're so perfect, why are you wasting our time? Good luck to you.

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  27. #19
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    Wow! That is a bit harsh don't you think? Rein it in dashinvaine, yours is not the only opinion here. And for the record Agathe did not waste my time, I actually like this piece.

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  28. #20
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    Dashinvaine if im wasting 'your' time, skip the thread mate and thats all you have to do. i am actualy supprised by how overreactive and childish that was for you to say that. perfection is my aim i never think that i am perfect otherwise i wouldnt ask for critique and youve got to accept that im not going to sit here and agree with everything you say.

    apart from dash thanks to everyone else for your critique i found it very helpfull but i think ill go study some decent reference and no longer post anymore updates, things are just getting to heated.

    Last edited by Agathe; September 9th, 2009 at 06:35 AM.
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  29. #21
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    ah dont go! lol

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  31. #22
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    Firstly I would like to say her face is gorgeous. The work you have put into sculpting her eye down to her cheek and jawline is great.

    It seems you have already gotten some advice on things like anatomy, so all I can really offer is I would love to see the great details you've put into her face continued into the other parts of her body.

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  33. #23
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    i wanted to dig it up again. its still a wip any suggestions/ideas would be nice.

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  34. #24
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    I think you should finish it!!! It looks great! i love how you did the feathers.

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  36. #25
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    I'm too late to the party to give you anything useful on pose. What I'm seeing about it is that the ribcage feels too far shifted back. Not rotated back, the rotation is fine. It feels like it's rotated and shifted back. I think that's what makes the pose feel awkward to me. That shift throws her weight back and messes with her centerline, making her feel tippy. In addition, her pelvis and legs seem to have an issue to me. Her image left leg is taking her weight, but the hips don't cant/tilt to reflect this. That hip should be up with the straight leg supporting it, and her spine should curve to compensate, canting/tiliting the shoulders opposite.

    Again all of that way too damn late, so I apologize for noting it. Just what I saw. What I see that you can address are the following. Proportions seem off on the image right leg. I think that's because you originally had her up on toes, but then you dropped her feet. When you did you basically just extended her calves, which made them too long. Calves should be just short of thighs in length. Next under her image right shoulder, the armpit is dark void. It's too deep, specifically at that transition of pectoral to pit. Define her lat coming up to the arm in that shadow area with some lightening and reduce the contrast there a bit and I think it will fix it. The lines of the clavicles and of the sternomastoid muscles are too sharp. They look like pinched raises, not swells under skin. Contour on the top of the breast is coming off a little globular. That's a matter of taste of course but as it is they feel like implants. If that's what you want, good. If not, shave off some of the top curve, flattening it. This will make the breast appear to sag more, making it more natural. I think you have some nice definition of muscle going on in the image right arm. However, the biceps seems over done and the triceps seem non-existent. In that pose I'd expect to see some bulge from triceps on the back side top of the upper arm. Finally the face, you've got some nice rendering on the eye and lovely skin tone. What it lacks is emotion or personality. It's very doll like. It would be nice to see her looking at a definite place with intent. The slightly open mouth in that very default pose accents this kind of spacey look. She's carrying a weapon, that to me generally means threat. Maybe a lowering of the brows, a slight narrowing of the eyes. Tighten the lips perhaps and show a line of the the muscles of the jaw clenching in anger. All this would give some mood to her. Oh and as an aside, those feathers are very interestingly rendered. Very graphical. I like them.

    Last edited by baslack; September 25th, 2009 at 10:46 PM.
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  38. #26
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    baslack i found your critique very helpful and descriptive thank you! haha yeh i agree i could have used your critique much earlier. ill countinue more with this tomorrow

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  39. #27
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    I dont think of a valkyrie either when i see this. If you want people to think of ravens the feathers should be black not brown. The spear is good though.

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  40. #28
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    Weeeeell, Ill start by saying that the skull is done really well and nice job on the feathers. The costume is going well and so is the painting side of it, its really just the anatomy thats in the way. Have you been using reference for this?

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