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Thread: Is this normal?

  1. #1
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    Is this normal?

    I never believed I was odd but lately I've been thinking back and don't know what to think anymore. I will keep it short; I used to have a belief lingering in my head that I was terminally ill and only my parents knew (and not myself), so they where secretly spiking my food and drink with medicine to keep me alive. This way they didn't have to deal with the emotion of telling me. This is just one example and it seemed normal at the time, and stuff like the slight belief of cameras behind mirrors to watch me. It seems ridiculous when I type it out. I get very anxious and paranoid and I think it could be the cause of me being depressed a lot of the time.

    Has anybody had anything similar? Is it normal?

    A bit of a random post, mods can deal with it as appropriate. I'm a regular here but of course this is a bit of a weird thing to disclose to everyone who knows me.
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  3. #2
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    Dude, you're what you think you're.

    My question is "So what?"

    So what if you're terminally ill and your parents kept it a secret?
    So what if there are cameras behind you watching you?

    Stop second guessing and go for the ultimate question, "What's the worst thing that can happen?". Probably nothing.
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    hey man that sounds like somthing very specific, i imagine if you go see a professional they can give you somthing to help with the paranoia, and if you dont like what it does to you you can always just not take it.

    things like depression and paranoia cant really be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts they take alot of effort and commitment to helping yourself, i hope you work things out
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pucker View Post
    I never believed I was odd but lately I've been thinking back and don't know what to think anymore. I will keep it short; I used to have a belief lingering in my head that I was terminally ill and only my parents knew (and not myself), so they where secretly spiking my food and drink with medicine to keep me alive. This way they didn't have to deal with the emotion of telling me. This is just one example and it seemed normal at the time, and stuff like the slight belief of cameras behind mirrors to watch me. It seems ridiculous when I type it out. I get very anxious and paranoid and I think it could be the cause of me being depressed a lot of the time.

    Has anybody had anything similar? Is it normal?

    A bit of a random post, mods can deal with it as appropriate. I'm a regular here but of course this is a bit of a weird thing to disclose to everyone who knows me.

    No.

    I get into bouts of depressions with that feeling that everybody hates me and don't want me around at all. It comes and goes...I think the best way to deal with it is to keep busy, and try to interact with people who cares.
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    Artists often are in this camp. I'm there. What you said could really be important to look at, so you'd be well advised to talk to an MD/Psychiatrist whom you can trust and that you know understands psychopharmacology. It's just that you've stumbled on something significant that probably affects the whole of your life.
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    I think that you should dig deeper into these questions (preferably with a professional), maybe there's common ground in these, like a specific fear/ trauma that you repress?
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  9. #8
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    No, I actually did the exact same thing for a while, literally the exact same. What triggered it for me was my brother died when I was 11, so I kinda had to face my own mortality, I got really paranoid, I started to think everyone was trying to drug my food, of course I didn't think my parents would because I knew they loved me but I always got the feeling like I had some terminal illness and they just secretly decided not to tell me because they thought I couldn't handle it.

    I did a bunch of other stuff too, I suffered from panic attacks (which I had had all my life, but they got worse) I wouldn't eat the parts of food that I touched, and I began washing my hands so much that the soap was drying out my skin and making it crack and bleed. After a while though I kinda got a grip on reality, learned to control my emotions and think rationally and after a few years it all went away. Now I'm (relatively) normal.
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    I can relate with you. Though I don't really have same experiences. But, boy. I might seem nuts when I talk about my "problems." At one point in my life, I used to feel watched and followed by ninjas. Once I've actually believed that I was dead and I was a ghost.

    I mean if you totally believed any of the terminal ill stuff, then you might do have a problem. I would go to a pyche, if i was you.
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    For a while when I was a kid I had the idea that I was really the only human on earth, and everyone else was mindreading alien researchers playing the parts of humans. It was like some huge alien experiment to see how a human would deal with certain situations. Only reason I came up with that was because of some coincidences, like if I was thinking something or worried about something in the future, someone would come along and talk about it or give me info I thought was necessary to get through with it. Something like the aliens walking me through the experiment.

    I never really believed any of it, I think it was just a way to explain those coincidences. I also had a bit of OCD when I was a kid; I imagined that there was a string attached to me, and it would gain length/stretch to everywhere I went. For that reason I always had to make sure it wasn't tangled, so if I ever walked around an object such as a pole, I had to "untangle" myself and walk around it the other way.

    So, yeah. We're all weird
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  14. #11
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    If you're in school, there should be free counselors on campus that you can make and appointment with. Even though it's not school related, they will still discuss these feelings with you. If that doesn't work you could also visit a psychologist. I seriously doubt anyone here or in most places online are equipped to diagnose or counsel you on these matters. Clinical depression is not something to mess with or sit on. It won't magically get better over time because you change your mind.

    I used to have the camera behind mirrors thing. I grew out of it. I think the reason why I personally had those feelings was because of self esteem issues and I didn't like looking into a mirror.

    Good luck with it.
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    Clinical depression is not something to mess with or sit on. It won't magically get better over time because you change your mind.
    ^This
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    Quote Originally Posted by teohyc View Post
    Dude, you're what you think you're.

    My question is "So what?"

    So what if you're terminally ill and your parents kept it a secret?
    So what if there are cameras behind you watching you?

    Stop second guessing and go for the ultimate question, "What's the worst thing that can happen?". Probably nothing.
    An early death.
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