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I never believed I was odd but lately I've been thinking back and don't know what to think anymore. I will keep it short; I used to have a belief lingering in my head that I was terminally ill and only my parents knew (and not myself), so they where secretly spiking my food and drink with medicine to keep me alive. This way they didn't have to deal with the emotion of telling me. This is just one example and it seemed normal at the time, and stuff like the slight belief of cameras behind mirrors to watch me. It seems ridiculous when I type it out. I get very anxious and paranoid and I think it could be the cause of me being depressed a lot of the time.
Has anybody had anything similar? Is it normal?
A bit of a random post, mods can deal with it as appropriate. I'm a regular here but of course this is a bit of a weird thing to disclose to everyone who knows me.
Dude, you're what you think you're.
My question is "So what?"
So what if you're terminally ill and your parents kept it a secret?
So what if there are cameras behind you watching you?
Stop second guessing and go for the ultimate question, "What's the worst thing that can happen?". Probably nothing.
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hey man that sounds like somthing very specific, i imagine if you go see a professional they can give you somthing to help with the paranoia, and if you dont like what it does to you you can always just not take it.
things like depression and paranoia cant really be fixed by just thinking happy thoughts they take alot of effort and commitment to helping yourself, i hope you work things out
Artists often are in this camp. I'm there. What you said could really be important to look at, so you'd be well advised to talk to an MD/Psychiatrist whom you can trust and that you know understands psychopharmacology. It's just that you've stumbled on something significant that probably affects the whole of your life.
No, I actually did the exact same thing for a while, literally the exact same. What triggered it for me was my brother died when I was 11, so I kinda had to face my own mortality, I got really paranoid, I started to think everyone was trying to drug my food, of course I didn't think my parents would because I knew they loved me but I always got the feeling like I had some terminal illness and they just secretly decided not to tell me because they thought I couldn't handle it.
I did a bunch of other stuff too, I suffered from panic attacks (which I had had all my life, but they got worse) I wouldn't eat the parts of food that I touched, and I began washing my hands so much that the soap was drying out my skin and making it crack and bleed. After a while though I kinda got a grip on reality, learned to control my emotions and think rationally and after a few years it all went away. Now I'm (relatively) normal.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
I can relate with you. Though I don't really have same experiences. But, boy. I might seem nuts when I talk about my "problems." At one point in my life, I used to feel watched and followed by ninjas. Once I've actually believed that I was dead and I was a ghost.
I mean if you totally believed any of the terminal ill stuff, then you might do have a problem. I would go to a pyche, if i was you.
For a while when I was a kid I had the idea that I was really the only human on earth, and everyone else was mindreading alien researchers playing the parts of humans. It was like some huge alien experiment to see how a human would deal with certain situations. Only reason I came up with that was because of some coincidences, like if I was thinking something or worried about something in the future, someone would come along and talk about it or give me info I thought was necessary to get through with it. Something like the aliens walking me through the experiment.
I never really believed any of it, I think it was just a way to explain those coincidences. I also had a bit of OCD when I was a kid; I imagined that there was a string attached to me, and it would gain length/stretch to everywhere I went. For that reason I always had to make sure it wasn't tangled, so if I ever walked around an object such as a pole, I had to "untangle" myself and walk around it the other way.
So, yeah. We're all weird
If you're in school, there should be free counselors on campus that you can make and appointment with. Even though it's not school related, they will still discuss these feelings with you. If that doesn't work you could also visit a psychologist. I seriously doubt anyone here or in most places online are equipped to diagnose or counsel you on these matters. Clinical depression is not something to mess with or sit on. It won't magically get better over time because you change your mind.
I used to have the camera behind mirrors thing. I grew out of it. I think the reason why I personally had those feelings was because of self esteem issues and I didn't like looking into a mirror.
Good luck with it.
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^ThisClinical depression is not something to mess with or sit on. It won't magically get better over time because you change your mind.
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Well, the main question is: What makes you believe the stuff?
Any clues? You heard the "wuzzz" sound of a camera? Saw medicine that vanished from the spot when you returned and got "you must have imagined that flask on the desk" as an answer after asking someone?
There's also a possibility that a parent of yours is sick and doesn't want you to know...
I was thinking the very same thing like "gosh I'm paranoid" since my neighborhood developed in a very bad way. I suddenly had a feeling of being under observation the whole time... I looked closely to the subject and found out that my neighbours are indeed stalking me... they're always behind the window, watching where I'm going and a few times I saw them writing down something when I leave the house and when I come back... not a nice feeling.
They also go to the supermarket when I go and they're extremely interested in what I buy, to whom I'm talking, who's visiting me..
I told my friends and family about that and in case something strange/awful happens to me or the rest of my family, first of all the police will run to them and their lot, I made pretty sure of that.
And as soon as I have the money I'll buy a detector and check my flat, especially the outsides of the windows, for any observation stuff.
So the question is: Do you have any clues that some of the things you belive in are true or is it just a feeling or a thought that suddenly occured?
Look to the matter at hand and if it turns out to be the latter you should probably talk to other people about it. Ask your parents about that sickness, what else can they do then to say "true" or "false"?
If you really are sick they need to tell you anyways when you move out from home.
If it is from depression they're also the only people that can help you in the first place, as somone else here said, a depression won't vanish with time, it will drive you insane instead.
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Anyone remember that tv-infotainment show, hardcopy? They had a segment once on hotels that did have camcorders behind the mirrors, to film whatever might take place. Unless you're having lots of sex in dodgy hotels, or your working for the CIA, or you've been abducted by aliens, I wouldn't worry. I agree about seeing a doctor.
protip: getting psychological/medical advice from online forums might not be the best idea
If it's just something you thought about now, don't worry about it. As kids we sometimes have over-stretched imaginations. It seems like you were just thinking too much on it. I used to believe or guess weird things as a kid.
I actually wondered to myself when I was younger, if Bugs Bunny was a real thing, in a box, even though I knew I was just shitting myself.