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Thread: Art as a tool to meet chicks?!

  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Android View Post
    yes it works, in fact i don't know how i would meet women without playing the art card.
    ive found that there are two approaches that are successful,
    Be confidant in your approach without coming off cocky or creepy, being shy and humble can work too, if your a student you can tell them that its part of your conceptart.org homework assignment . show them how academic you are and compliment them on their bone structure, break out your anatomy vocab.
    if its your first time drawing them pick a public place with enough privacy that you don't attract other bystanders looking over your shoulder . parks and coffee shops work well.
    make him or her feel as comfortable as possible. try not to take more than 20-25 minutes, if the sketch comes out well and their is chemistry you can always invite them back to your place for a longer pose or a painting.

    if your new to drawing profiles are the safest bet, its the easiest fastest approach and people are less critical and familiar with their profile.
    If you really want to accelerate a connection have them look you directly in the eyes when you draw them , after 20 minutes of solid creative eye contact both of you will know if there is a relation ship worth perusing.

    this can be used as a "pick up " technique but i have found that for me is a really genuine way to get a feeling for someone, it creates a place for conversation and silence, its also instantly makes the point clear that you are an artist and this is your passion. if your connection turns into a relationship and they start complaining that your always drawing you can remind them that its how you met in the first place.

    if you have an impulse to draw someone just go for it, in the words of Kevin Lewellen " they will either saw yes or no, but if you don't ask its a no every time." \

    and make sure the drawing dosen't suck.


    It also helps if you're dreamy like Andrew.



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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by nonie View Post
    Any man with a "strategy" for meeting women is a creep. Sorry, it just makes you see us as some kind of conquest and not as people and that's just fucking creepy. Just be yourself, start a conversation naturally. Be honest and sincere in the first place, and if you think a girl is manipulating you just say so, don't manipulate back. I'll flat out tell you, the dudes who assume I'm playing head games are the fucking creepiest - makes me feel like some kind of specimen being dissected, like they want to string me up like a puppet, and I never know whether what they say is calculated to get a certain reaction or what. Stop that shit. Just be open.
    Seriously, "being yourself" does not help.
    You gotta make an effort in everything.

    Let's say, an example: a guy who plays plenty of computer games like an effing nerd and talks about orcs, blood elves and mages and "levelling up" and buying "new weapons from the shop" all the time. And assume this guy loves girls too.

    Now, if he sees some girl he likes in class / work, and he approach this girl and "be himself", he's gonna be talking about boring **** the girl don't even wanna hear.

    Now, in the same scenario, a guy who plays plenty of computer games like an effing nerd like the one above.

    Now, one day, he sees some girl he likes, and he's smart enough to know that he won't get anywhere with the girl just by "being himself". So he goes to dating classes where dating gurus and pick-up artists teaches him the tools of the trade, the art of flirting, the actual female psychology, how women works and thinks and behaves etc..

    Then, when approaching a girl, this guy uses the stuff he knows. NOW, WE have something.

    Like what Wilson above says, "being yourself" is applicable only if you already have those Casanova attitude or you already have innate awesome flirting talent, or you look like those celebs.

    Like Zac Elfron, Brad Pitt, Jude Law.....these guys can just "be themselves" and still end up bedding 260 hot chicks every 6 hours. For the average guy on the street, they gotta work harder.

    Quote Originally Posted by Black Spot View Post
    Is it me or does it seem that every summer there are threads devoted to picking up girls because they’re wearing skimpier clothing about this time and are more noticeable?
    Nah, this thread happens cos' my mind strayed off while I was thinking about my future as a potential artist.

    Quote Originally Posted by J Wilson View Post
    I can say for my part, I never manipulated that girl back. I wanted nothing from her, and was friendly in every way, I just didn't fall into any patterns she expected, and it clearly baffled her. That was the extent of that story. Notice I never said anything about using this as a tactic to get any advantage. It was just an observation.

    Still, while it may seem creepy to some that people (both men and women) have to think about how they approach each other, it's sadly true. As a guy who sincerely tried to just be myself during my early twenties, I can tell you it's not always that simple. Like art, being good socially isn't just a natural talent, but a skill you may need to work on. It may be creepy if the guy's goal is to just get physical (but then that depends on the girl too, as some aren't much deeper either). However, if it's born out of a genuine desire to get closer and to get to know a girl, then a little "strategy" is really just a tactic to deal with the awkward parts. Men are still typically expected to be the aggressors and there are a lot of ways to handle that wrong.
    True, true. Btw, it must be made clear that manipulation is not the same as "tactics" or "strategy".

    "Tactics" refer to observation of the subject and then formulating a suitable strategy to win the heart of the subject.

    Manipulation refers to twisting the subject's mind and bringing it into your grasp for your utter control and usage.
    If you were to ask me, I can say without hesistation women are WAY better at manipulating guys than the other way round.

    SCREW THEM! (sorry, but when I think how I become some woman's puppet now and then, I feel angry).

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xeon_OND View Post
    Seriously, "being yourself" does not help.


    Now, if he sees some girl he likes in class / work, and he approach this girl and "be himself", he's gonna be talking about boring **** the girl don't even wanna hear.
    It's better to keep being yourself and either find a girl who shares your interest, or appreciates your differences, as opposed to attracting someone under false pretenses.

    If you want to meet someone of value, then 'Take care of your business', live your life the right way and opportunities will come to you. If you are working hard, not a slob, able to communicate, and have some success then you are in the minority and people are out there looking for you.

     

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  6. #94
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    I do think that some people have to learn to be the sort of "themselves" that another human being might find attractive.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwell View Post
    I do think that some people have to learn to be the sort of "themselves" that another human being might find attractive.
    I agree. Some people seem to think that there is only one way to be "yourself." I'm myself when I'm making art, when I'm playing video games, when I'm playing tennis...You shouldn't feel like in order to be "yourself" you gotta restrain your personality to one thing and one thing only...


    EDIT: **sigh** why am I still replying to this topic

     

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    Boy, am I ever glad I'm WAY past the "how do I meet girls..." stage.

    Nowadays I just roam the prairie with the rest of the old herd bulls.

    The truth will set you free,
    but first it's gonna piss you off!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wooly ESS View Post
    Boy, am I ever glad I'm WAY past the "how do I meet girls..." stage.

    Nowadays I just roam the prairie with the rest of the old herd bulls.
    Does that mean you found one or you gave up?

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by nonie View Post
    Any man with a "strategy" for meeting women is a creep.
    This is just straight up bullshit. Males of any species strive to develop themselves into more attractive mates, even if, in the case of a man, their agenda isn't exclusively to get laid.

    I will agree that some of the formulaic stuff that people have come up with is creepy and probably unsatisfying in the long run. However, a lot of the mannerisms that come naturally to me that are attractive to women (not all of them of course, but enough to be significant) weren't always "me being me." I had to think about it at some point and incorporate it into the way I communicated with women.

     

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    Not be yourself??

    Bullcrap.

    My guy is also an avid gamer, geek, and sci-fi/fantasy fan. If he had pretended to be someone else, not only is it painfully, obviously pathetic, I would have had no interest in him.

    I've been hit on by people who take those 'player' and 'icebreaker' classes. They SCREAM 'I'm a loser' at the top of their body-language lungs.

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ninjerk View Post
    I will agree that some of the formulaic stuff that people have come up with is creepy and probably unsatisfying in the long run.
    Such as "Oh babe, you must be very tired now cos' you're running in my mind the whole day"?

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sphyzex_9 View Post
    Does that mean you found one or you gave up?
    Good question. I found one, and she's still hanging around after 40 years, although I can't imagine why. I couldn't tell you what attracted her to me.

    The truth will set you free,
    but first it's gonna piss you off!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xeon_OND View Post
    Such as "Oh babe, you must be very tired now cos' you're running in my mind the whole day"?
    I heard one the other day, and I think it's fool-proof;

    "Did you fall from heaven? Because I have an erection."

     

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    Yeah, I gotta say.... Ahhhm...

    Having made successful attempts at both sides of the spectrum, girls are a bit more difficult than boys but not that much different, just usually harder to read (for me)...

    As for both the guys I've dated (including the current one) I met both of them in farely rare/nerdy situations... The latter was grumpy and a bit scruffy and not that intensely interested in me but friendly and listened to me ramble for a while and then it just kind of nicely fell into place, especially considering that up until meeting him I was only really considering women, and promptly changed my mind on his arrival.

    I've had really, really bad experiences with men and all of them had to do with them hitting on me, trying to pick me up, stalking me (though this one also happened with a woman, so it's not gender exclusive), etc, so I gotta say boys, I know it sounds dumb, but if you just act like yourself then you'll find the girl that's best for you, rather than someone you'll regret later.

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by MiniGoth View Post
    Not be yourself??
    My guy is also an avid gamer, geek, and sci-fi/fantasy fan. If he had pretended to be someone else, not only is it painfully, obviously pathetic, I would have had no interest in him.

    I've been hit on by people who take those 'player' and 'icebreaker' classes. They SCREAM 'I'm a loser' at the top of their body-language lungs.
    Umm, actually, when I say "not being yourself", I'm more like refering to using tactics to change some parts of yourself which is not so desirable, and not telling lies or changing your personality totally.

    E.g: the WRONG way to "not be yourself" is pretending you're some successful guy when you're not, or renting a ferrari and telling your girl it's yours, or behaving like some death metal rocker when you're not. Now, that's FAKE!
    No. NO. NO.

    The CORRECT way to "not be yourself" is learning great tricks at flirting when you're previously someone who is flirting-impaired, or being more interesting in your convo, or learning methods which make you less afraid of pretty girls when you're previously afraid etc.

    How do I say it......eerrr.....it's like, shifting your brain mode to the right side of your brain when chasing girls, and that's what I mean by "not being yourself".

    Does your guy dig his nose or ears in front of you during the very beginning, first stage of his courtship of you?

    If he did, then that's truly "being himself" and I bow to him!


    Quote Originally Posted by Jason Rainville View Post
    I heard one the other day, and I think it's fool-proof;

    "Did you fall from heaven? Because I have an erection."
    LOL, that's not fool-proof, but it will earn you a tight slap from the fiercer ladies.
    If you use it on chick you already know, it will be sweet though, and she will giggle.

     

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    There's a difference between being yourself and not having manners. :]

    Just because you're more polite to someone you don't know doesn't mean you aren't being yourself.

    On the same coin, just because you aren't pretending that you have a Ferrari doesn't mean you aren't being true to yourself either.


    edit:

    I'm not saying that art isn't a great way to *meet* girls, because it is. It's a great way to meet girls who like art!

    I just don't really agree with the using it as a way to 'pick up' girls, part. There's a difference between a mutual interest (awesome for both parties) and a tool to 'score' (creepy and not very cool)


    andrew is an exception to the rule, in this case elwell made that point best!

     

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    Not to get off track but iv yet to discover the mind set of Android when he posts..its like massive dump of art work in the FF section then 6 months later .. hay wonder what ever happened to Andrew friken random post out of know where in the how to pick up chicks section.. and then gona again

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    painfull thread is paaaaintfulll

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    I always toyed around with the idea of using art to pick up girls. But to be honest, I wouldn't have the confidence in making conversation or in making a decent portrait. I always figured that if I'd gone for Fashion Design that that would be a sure fire way in - I'd be chic, fashion conscious and best of all, straight!

    But then I realised how lame both of these ideas really were, at the end of the day.. If the girl was interested, she'd be interested only in what I do, not who I am. So yes, being yourself does work. You're not with your girlfriend or wife because she's a sales rep or accountant, are you? Who wants to date someone they have no connection or little in common with? In regards to using art, if you're not after a girlfriend though, but a once off, then it's possible it could work. But only in rare circumstances I think, and definitely not accosting them. At a party or in a relaxed pub or cafe. Crane's idea, done romantically, seems plausible.

    My current girlfriend wooed me. She's a major geek, we have a lot in common and we have a connection. I was oblivious (as is typical) of her interest in me for a long time, and when we hung out I was always myself as I didn't feel the need to act any other way. Whereas if I was aware she fancied me, I probably would have acted differently. So this allowed us to be comfortable around one another, because, at least for me, there was no pressure to be something else. She also wasn't really aware of my art or at least how involved in it I was, and I never really brought it up.

    However, in a twist of fate, that makes up for not using art to pull women... After she finally saw my art, she now says that whenever she looks at my work or through my gallery, she gets "incredibly turned on"

    Go figure

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xeon_OND View Post
    Such as "Oh babe, you must be very tired now cos' you're running in my mind the whole day"?
    If you visit pick up forums, then you know exactly what I'm talking about, lol.

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by daestwen View Post
    ... The latter was grumpy and a bit scruffy and not that intensely interested in me but friendly and listened to me ramble for a while and then it just kind of nicely fell into place, especially considering that up until meeting him I was only really considering women, and promptly changed my mind on his arrival.
    Haha well, you should add that the dude in question had an awesome jetlag and was hungry, and that you didn't wait for him to come back when going for a hike up the mountain the first day

    I don't have much to add to this thread but I'll just say, come to the workshops everyone if you're so interested in picking up girls with your art

     

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  31. #111
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    sorry this is so late but i add that the girl is a bit of a masachist O_O....

    i believe in a more layed back approach to dating. I dont look for women O_O
    i dont hit on random people, i dont chat with em. Just live my life and meet people in my daily life. im not a creeper, im not desperate, and i think women like that more

    but i have to say that being an artist will probably give you more in common with artistic ladys than an computer engineer. except if your android, then youve pretty much got the whole package

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by hunchback View Post
    but i have to say that being an artist will probably give you more in common with artistic ladys than an computer engineer.
    Ok, what I wanna know is: are chicks in the art industry (or female artists) in general prettier and hotter than their counterparts in those industrial and engineering industries?

    No offense to anyone here, but I've observed for years that the hottest chicks are pretty much from the accounting, business, HR, finance type of industry, while those from production, engineering, IT and those stuff tend to be err.......you know, less feminine and kinda manly.

    Any views on this?

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nemhain View Post

    But then I realised how lame both of these ideas really were, at the end of the day.. If the girl was interested, she'd be interested only in what I do, not who I am. So yes, being yourself does work. You're not with your girlfriend or wife because she's a sales rep or accountant, are you?
    how did you come to that conclusion? if your a amazing artist but a dick no one but the 'damaged goods' sector of society is gonna touch you. art will be just one of many things she likes about you not the only one

    somone posted "That is so wrong on so many levels" in response to xeons last commen but deleted it i think

    but anyway, being 'attractive' is so easy, its a matter of looking after your body and dressing nicely, just taking pride in your appearnce. i just started art college (2nd day today) and the girls here are all so attractive, they all dress nice and have a look which works for them (or nearly all anyway), so i dont get whats wrong with wanting a 'attractive' partner.

    (i guess i should point out i took the thats so wrong comment personally, triggerd flame-reflux)

    Last edited by Nrx; August 18th, 2009 at 12:30 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xeon_OND View Post
    Ok, what I wanna know is: are chicks in the art industry (or female artists) in general prettier and hotter than their counterparts in those industrial and engineering industries?

    No offense to anyone here, but I've observed for years that the hottest chicks are pretty much from the accounting, business, HR, finance type of industry, while those from production, engineering, IT and those stuff tend to be err.......you know, less feminine and kinda manly.

    Any views on this?
    .............Why are you even asking this? Also there are a lot of women on these boards and you just dissed all of us, good job.

     

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    Quote Originally Posted by J Wilson View Post
    I can second that if you don't acknowledge the attractiveness of a woman who is used to having men fall all over her, you can drive her a little crazy.

    I think the first time I realized this was this one girl I worked with a girl who was very attractive. She was a sales rep for advertising, and I was a graphic artist who did the design work. One day it was decided that I should go out with her to talk with her clients. As we were out, she was getting calls on her cell from the various guys she was flirting with, and every stop we made the clients were falling over themselves to flirt with her. Hell, when lunch time rolled around she said she knew a place where they never charged her so we could eat for free.

    Let's say I made up my mind there was no way in hell I was going to fall over myself for her, which was helped by a few statements she made that made her sound like a gold digger.

    At the end of our day, she said it was fun and we'd have to do it again soon. I told her I'd have to see what my schedule looked like. I would certainly be friendly with her, but I never flirted with her (although I would point out how cheesy the guys who were making fools of themselves falling all over themselves for her). She'd repeatedly ask me to come have drinks with her (of course she knew a bartender that would give us free drinks all night), and I'd always say "maybe" and then not go. One day she put on her best innocent helpless girl act and asked me if I'd come over to help her move some stuff. I laughed and told her no chance, I hate moving (which I do, but I probably would have helped if I hadn't felt like she was trying to use her "manipulate men powers" on me. Simply asking me in a straight forward friend style would have gone over better). She pouted and said "please? I'll cook dinner for you," and I declined again, knowing full well she had a list of guys she could, and would, ask next.

    Anyways, I always got the impression it drove her a little crazy that she never got the typical guy responses from me. She kept trying to get that reaction out of me, and I never took the bait, mainly because I saw that she easily took advantage of the men that did.

    Over the years I've experienced that many of the really attractive women I've gotten to know are not really that interesting, and many are sooo insecure. When you realize that, they are a ton easier to talk to and get to know. They really do get tired of being put on a pedestal and hearing the "wow, you are so pretty" as the first thing out of a guy's mouth. Hell, avoiding saying that is so ingrained in me, that now I often forget that women DO like to hear it from time to time once you've gotten to know them.
    Sounds EXACTLY like a few of my ex-girlfriends, total narcissists. In my youth I put way too much stock on the appearance. More so than that it was a complete disassociation from the creative process, and an understanding for what it was that I enjoyed about drawing/painting. These types of people tend to trivialize artistic endeavors, or feign interest.

    On the flip side, I had recently dated a dj, who had a job in sound editing. Her passion for music resonated in everything she did, and said. A true creative spirit, who completely related to the importance and passion I felt for art.

    Knowing who you are, and finding someone who will encourage your passions, and vice versa. That is what it's about.


     

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  39. #116
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    Okay, that's it, I've had enough of this topic.

    Starting a thread on picking up chicks in a CO-ED lounge is one thing, starting to merit the attractiveness of said girls in the proffession that you are in where they are *talking with you* is totally another thing.

    I'm getting really sick of the attitudes I'm seeing in this thread.

    Maybe you'll find someone who will like you when you learn how to respect people in general a little better.

    Thread closed.

     

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