One portrait atempt

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Thread: One portrait atempt

  1. #1
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    One portrait atempt

    HI!
    First of all, I apologies in advance for my poor English. I can read enough but I struggle with the writing, not too successfully I think. Additionally, I hope to post according all the rules, and please correct me if it is not the case.

    Now, to the point. I like to show here my last work.
    I've problem (mainly) with two things:

    a. One, the boundaries between light and shadows. I feel that they are non convincing. Stiff, perhaps. (mainly, in the left eye/nose, and in the neck)
    b. the act of taking a good photograph of a painting that hast too contrast.

    I really appreciate all your critics!

    Thanks in advance!

    Painting:

    One portrait atempt

    Detail:
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ubhB1UuiU7...le_gulluni.jpg

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    Last edited by agulluni; July 14th, 2009 at 04:24 PM. Reason: picture doesn see
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  4. #2
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    This is awesome!
    I really don't have much to critique.

    1. Im wondering whats going on in the scene to make the strands of her hair dance around like that.
    2. Her nose is pretty masculine for a lady but that ones a pretty small nitpick.

    Your rendering is pretty gud I look forward to seeing more

    My reason for being here is to be the best ...
    so I shake my head when fellow artists critique me saying "Hey, you're working too hard ... just try the [half-assed] approach instead?"
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  5. #3
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    Nice brush work!
    Think there's a few underlying anatomy problems, especially her left side. It seems overly large.
    Think her right eye could be a bit larger, you'll get some light passing through the iris as well. I've tried to show that in the overpaint.
    Think this looks really good, though get someone to sit for you so you can use them as reference.
    These are just my opinions and not 100% correct
    But hopefully it's helpful.
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  6. #4
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    Venger's comments are spot on. But, despite some issues, this painting is neat. I especially like her oddly large nose

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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    Venger, Thanks A LOT! This really helps me.
    And yes, you are right, the eye must be corrected!

    Thanks for taking the time to made this jpg!
    Really help me!

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    Thanks Stoat!
    I like it too. She is a strange muse!

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    Wonderful! I love her face and hand and her hair dancing like flames.

    The suggestions mentioned in the previous replies are excellent too.

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  10. #8
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    This is a really beautifully executed painting. I have two slight nitpicks, and they're both relative to the same area. Actually, I'm not even sure they're problems so much as opinions. Please feel free to disregard, or maybe someone else can argue my comments away.

    1. The upper left arm (our left looking at her, in light) seems a tad short to me. It's kinda hard to tell because it's in shadow, but if I measure from the shoulder to the elbow and compare it with the arm in the distance, the closer one is shorter. In fact, it should be slightly longer than the other arm due to the slight perspective. I could be wrong, but take a look at it.

    2. And this is a compositional nitpick. I don't like the strong vertical of that left arm (our left again) running as a tangent on the left side of the screen. I'm not sure what you can do with it though. If you were working digitally, I'd say angle it and crop a little, or expand. Not a big help, I know, since you're not working digitally. It's not a big deal, but I thought I'd mention it. Actually, looking at it again, that tangent runs across the bottom edge, too, and throws all her weight down into that corner, where it sits like a puzzle piece. Again, not a big deal.

    Anyway, awesome piece. I hate to even point out those two thing because they're so small, and the piece is so nice. Great work.

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    Stormseye, thanks a lot for your feedback!
    These kind of observation is what I looking for.

    I haven't noticed the arm, but your observation is right. It's too short. In fact, I thing that this happens in both arms.

    The compositional issue: my fault.
    I started this painting as an study of her face. I didn't plan to do a complete painting... and well... you know what happens when one didn't have a previous sketch...

    Thanks a lot for your feedback!

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    Thanks PsiBug!


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