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  1. #1
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    Smile Critique needed...

    Hi..Everyone..Been away for a long time..I will be uploading regularly from now...This is a work i recently did.The background needs work..I was thinking of something similar to a broken down factory room.It will be subdued and out of focus...I would greatly appreciate any criticism you have to offer..I did this initially to see how close i can achieve a bit of realism in my work.The character looks a lil empty to me..So any pointers as to how to make him more interesting would be nice..I really want to become better at what i do...Also if there is anything you like(If there is) about this work do say so..

    Please go to http://thedarkentity.deviantart.com/art/Zilch-121624634 to see the full details...

    Thanks in advance...




    After taking in all the feedback so far i have made a few changes...Will be making more changes soon like putting a shadow under him.I would appreciate it if you could tell me if the change has done any good??And if there is what made it so..I can pick up the points from there.....Hope its improved..


    Changed the background..Trying out different stuff..I plan to give an abandoned lot behind the fence and give a few broken edges to the fence..
    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated...





    Added to the background...Gotta work more on the flyers.Planning to put a message on the flyer..And some more details to the background...I have to say thanks to everyone who gave me critique...It looks much better now than before...



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    Last edited by Gautham; June 14th, 2009 at 04:28 PM. Reason: Change in work
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    I think, for starters, the pose looks a little too casual. Try making it more exciting and dynamic - more like a typical super hero sort of thing.

    Cheers!

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    Thank you...

    Thank you..I agree with you..The pose does look static..I kinda made this to present the character..I didn't mean for this to be done as a scene where the character is doing something..Just wanted to put forth the character...

    But do tell if i'm wrong in all this...

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    I feel like the numerous vertical wrinkles in the shirt are hurting the composition, pulling the eye down too fast, I would think some thicker more horizontal folds coming from the buttons would chop this up a little more and compliment the vertical lines in the jacket, pants and guns

    Awesome work so far, love the jacket

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    Quote Originally Posted by StarBelly View Post
    I feel like the numerous vertical wrinkles in the shirt are hurting the composition, pulling the eye down too fast, I would think some thicker more horizontal folds coming from the buttons would chop this up a little more and compliment the vertical lines in the jacket, pants and guns

    Awesome work so far, love the jacket

    Thank you...Now that you mention it it does force the eye to move along fast from top to bottom..As you said a few horizontal lines would enhance the over-all feel of the piece...



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    And please keep the feedbacks and critique coming...

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    Perhaps you could round out his head a little bit. Not too much, but just a tad, it almost looks as if he has no ears!
    Also, is his leather jacket supposed to be so short? Is it a part of his design? If not, you could benefit from making the bottom of it reach down to his waist.

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    Thanks...

    Thank you...I agree with the head part..I'll make it more rounded..It does look stretched a little bit now that you mentioned it...As for the jacket,yes it was part of the design..I felt that the long jacket is always done like so and decided to make it shorter..I came across a picture of such a jacket and used it to understand how long it is compared to the upper body...

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    the background is a bit too high-key, i'd like to see some darker tonalities in the background to better connect the figure to the environment. right now he looks seperate and disjointed from the surroundings.

    the hands seem obscured by an unnaturally long shirt. typical men's fashion will have the shirt extend beyond the length of the jacket by 1/4 to 1/2 of an inch when the arms are relaxed. the sleeves appear to be concealing the structural anatomy of the hand, and having them that long doesn't seem like it would be the most practical clothing for someone using guns.

    the shape of his hips and torso are nondescript. i can't tell exactly where his waist and hips would be located, but it looks like his pants are sitting a bit low and that his abdomen might be elongated.

    the feet being blurred into a fog-mist reads as an excuse to not paint them. i would like if the feet were partially visible through the mist.

    his jacket has a button-shoulder flap-thing one one side, but not the other (i dont know the real term for those). a stronger edge quality would make the jacket appear to be less plastic-ey. the shirt could use a collar too!

    overall though this is a vast improvement over your last thread that i saw! your rendering has become much stronger and more resolved, keep up the good work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gautham View Post
    Thank you..I agree with you..The pose does look static..I kinda made this to present the character..I didn't mean for this to be done as a scene where the character is doing something..Just wanted to put forth the character...

    But do tell if i'm wrong in all this...
    Pose/body language is one of the most important elements in getting your character across. A turnaround or model sheet is one thing, but if you show a character doing something, even just standing, how they do that thing is going to be important.


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    two things I see head seems a little flat and for some reason my eye is drawn to the belt buckle (could be its the center of the picture) and then I agree with Grief it looks like his pants are about mid thigh. Easy fix just in another layer paint over belt buckle and look at it........

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwell View Post
    Pose/body language is one of the most important elements in getting your character across. A turnaround or model sheet is one thing, but if you show a character doing something, even just standing, how they do that thing is going to be important.

    Thank you..I understand....I shall do so henceforth...

    Thanks again...

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    You have been working hard. If you stretch your arms out, generally the distance fingertip to fingertip is about the same as the height of the figure. The arms seem a bit short or the figure too long. The easiest way to correct it is to raise the crotch and lose the belt buckle.

    The hands are coloured – it would be great to see the chest done as well and that would help stop the overall look being too monochromatic. The bottom edging of the shirt doesn’t hang quite right – too straight after all those folds towards it.

    I like the scarf from your DA link. Keep working and I expect to see another big improvement soon.


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    Thanks for the input..I'm working on this one right now...I will upload my progress soon...I may change the vest to a more military green color only darker...I'll change it and see if it will look good....I may add more details into the background and lessen the smoke..I'm working on the feet right now...Grief saw right through me and i'm gonna change it like he suggested...


    Thanks guys for all the help...Do keep the criticism coming...



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    Criticisms?Feedbacks ?Anyone?

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    Still waiting...

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    your rendering is great
    but your lighting is very static and boring. You have this dramatic scene going on, but you have just regular white light, that is face front and flattens things out a bit.

    I think you should throw in some colored light, and choose a direction for it to be coming in and strengthen the values of your shapes. Other than that it looks great

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    The barrels of those sawn-off shotguns seem twisted and bent slightly. They don't feel like perfectly cylindrical tubes to me. Although, I can understand how difficult it can be to draw a gun from any angle other than a perfect profile view... I should know.
    Try drawing each barrel individually, making sure they're both parallel to each other and lining up to the angle in which the gun is held.

    Also, at that angle, you could probably be able to see a slight bit of the handguard under the barrels.

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    Quote Originally Posted by hala View Post
    your rendering is great
    but your lighting is very static and boring. You have this dramatic scene going on, but you have just regular white light, that is face front and flattens things out a bit.

    I think you should throw in some colored light, and choose a direction for it to be coming in and strengthen the values of your shapes. Other than that it looks great

    I agree...Let me see if i can give a nice colored light in from somewhere...I'm working on a creature right now and i'll incorporate these points over there since it is already in progress...

    Thank you

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dethklaus View Post
    The barrels of those sawn-off shotguns seem twisted and bent slightly. They don't feel like perfectly cylindrical tubes to me. Although, I can understand how difficult it can be to draw a gun from any angle other than a perfect profile view... I should know.
    Try drawing each barrel individually, making sure they're both parallel to each other and lining up to the angle in which the gun is held.

    Also, at that angle, you could probably be able to see a slight bit of the handguard under the barrels.


    Cheeee!!!!I was trying to make flintlock pistols..Damn it!!!It came off as a shotgun?I have to seriously work on guns then..Perhaps if i made the gun smaller it would resemble a pistol.As for the straight barrels i'll fix it..

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    Nice work, I might through in some atmospheric perspective adding some basic elements further in the background slightly lighter to create a little depth. A little more texture to the pants might help describe the type of fabric they are.

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    I think you've done some pretty good changes throughout the thread. I like the city scene more than the last picture with all the fog around him. reminds me on sin city somehow

    I'd suggest to bring a little bit more life into his "eyes". maybe some reflections (b&w would fit the best) will do it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gautham View Post
    Cheeee!!!!I was trying to make flintlock pistols..Damn it!!!It came off as a shotgun?I have to seriously work on guns then..Perhaps if i made the gun smaller it would resemble a pistol.As for the straight barrels i'll fix it..
    Ah, well, the only real reason your character's weapons come off as sawn-off shotguns is that hey have two barrels, while common flintlocks have only one. Typical double-barrel sawn-offs and flintlock pistols do have similar shapes, so that's not a problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dethklaus View Post
    Ah, well, the only real reason your character's weapons come off as sawn-off shotguns is that hey have two barrels, while common flintlocks have only one. Typical double-barrel sawn-offs and flintlock pistols do have similar shapes, so that's not a problem.


    Eh?The reference pic i used must have had the wrong name...Cause the one i used had 2 barrels and the hammer thingy on both sides...I am a bit ignorant when it comes to guns..When i rendered the hammer on both sides it looked silly and so i erased one...I think i will change the 2 barrels to one..Flintlock pistols looks gorgeous..

    Thank you so much for your input....I'll make the necessary changes...

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    Quote Originally Posted by 2tall4yall View Post
    I think you've done some pretty good changes throughout the thread. I like the city scene more than the last picture with all the fog around him. reminds me on sin city somehow

    I'd suggest to bring a little bit more life into his "eyes". maybe some reflections (b&w would fit the best) will do it.


    Adding more emotions to his eyes seem interesting..But the story i have for him needs him to have an emotionless face for he is a warrior who has faced many tragedies,one who later was consumed by hatred and vengeance...The scarf reminds him of who he once was and what all he has lost...He travels around with his group of mercenaries looking for odd jobs here and there..He's a character who shifts from black to gray areas...

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