Is anyone else on here having bad luck with love? I personally have been so depressed lately over a girl that I'm in love with (she has a new bf now but she still loves me, it's complicated) that I haven't really been drawing as much; I've just been lying in bed and wallowing in despair.
I bring it up on this forum because of two reasons. For one, there are a lot of cool people on here of both genders, and I'm sure that I could get advice on here. And secondly, it is affecting my artistic progress, so I'm sure I can get some empathy over here?
Anyways, let this just be a thread to rant about relationship problems, and to help each other out. I know there's a cheer me up thread, but that seems like just a bunch of pics of cats and stuff.
If anyone on here is willing to talk to me personally about my problem, I would greatly appreciate it (like on AIM or email or whatever). It sucks not having someone to talk to about this stuff...
I'm gonna put on some Linkin Park and we are going to hug this shit out bro...
this thread is pretty enjoyable on the whole attraction thing.
love..... if you let it rot into your body it'll corrupt your mind, and you'll develop a whole slew of dysfunctions that you can't fight, social anxiety, panic attacks, depression, love shyness, obsessive love.
and sometimes that breakdown of communication can produce some interesting art. i tend to romanticize the act of unrequited love, its a virtuous pursuit in my single focused mind.
the talk of love, and the relationships people play in each others lives, those are the things i take great interest in. rejection and acceptance, things which build and things that fade. this is my language.
a lot of internet tough guys will say its all just chemicals in your brain and you should fuck a million girls a night and that its your prime directive to spread your seed and blah blah hail the penis. such a school of thought is frightening to me in how limited it is.
love is... well uhm... i guess the absence of it can be equally as profound as the acquisition. don't let it interfere with your art. if you can't lift the pencil and let the world know you're angry, confused, and depressed, then why should it care when you are proud, joyous and confident?
i guess you should be glad you don't call yourself grief and wear your rejection as your identity.
Last edited by Grief; May 30th, 2009 at 08:23 PM.
Hey man, I empathize.
Sometimes love is good, sometimes bad.
Right now my boyfriend, who is also my best friend, is 1000 miles away in a different town and I won't we able to see him again until this fall. It really hurts being away from him for so long and I'm finding it difficult to work.
Fortunately, when I do work on my paintings it serves as a bit of a distraction from the sadness.
Im warning you now dude, an internet forum is no place to find sympathy. Especially with something like this. Comments up until now have been decent, but expect some pretty harsh criticism.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
--- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
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Lol, yeah I do expect harsh and stupid comments alike on a big forum, but I do appreciate all the ones so far. It's good to just be able to talk about it even on a forum; it's just another outlet.
I have been drawing a little bit lately still (about an hour or two a day, slacking), and I noticed that for some reason my drawings looked better. I even drew stuff for the girl I'm referring to and I thought they turned out quite decent.
This too, shall pass.
Change is Inevitable, Growth is Optional
I am The Choosen One!
Jason sez: Draw more from Life!
Earlier this year, I briefly entered into a relationship with a girl. She was amazing. I got along with her better than I have with any other girl, and she in turn gave every indication that she was very interested in me and in being in a relationship with me.
Then, without warning, she fell off the face of the earth for two weeks. I tried to get into contact with her in several different ways, with no response. I was going crazy with worry and the sheer frustration of not knowing what the hell was going on. Finally, I bumped into her at school...and two seconds later, her new boyfriend came up and kissed her.
That really sucked. For a while, like you, I had no motivation to do anything other than sit around and think about how much it sucked. But, it does pass.
And it does indeed help to talk about it, even on a forum.
If you love her enough to at least be happy for her happiness...then you have the right to be upset.
If not, then it's time to for some introspection, because those emotions can turn into something ugly that ultimately ruins the chance of friendship.
Maybe it's just not the right time right now, and who knows what the future will bring. Sometimes things just simply aren't meant to be, and as hard as it can be not to take it personally, or not be upset about...it's simply a fact of the universe. No one can promise you that you'll meet someone you love more, or in the exact same way...but there will be others, and that love may be as unique as the new people you meet. I have friends that I love very much, who I at one time loved romantically, but even though that didn't work out...they are some of the most amazing friends that anyone could ask for.
I'd agree to this if it were any other forum, but this community is most certainly the most supportive online community i have ever encountered, and our moderators do a great job of keeping nasty and hateful individuals out. We may not be a big happy family, but i think these forums are the closest thing to it that you'll find on the internet.Im warning you now dude, an internet forum is no place to find sympathy. Especially with something like this. Comments up until now have been decent, but expect some pretty harsh criticism.
EDIT: I guess i didnt really say anything too helpful. Like i said I haven't been in love so I don't know the pain you're experiencing, but I do know that like everything, it'll pass. Every time one door shuts, 10 more open up. Just remember that, and keep your eyes open rather than moping and isolating yourself from the world.
Last edited by ChristianWeeks; May 30th, 2009 at 10:40 PM.
Find the line between grief and simple attachment. Grieve, cry it out, feel it completely. Then, let it go. Know when to move on; you'll be ready at some point.
Something I found helps, when you're ready, is to think about something else every time you start thinking about the relationship. Helps to forget.
my 2 cents
Honestly i cant really think of anything to put here to make you feel better, But i feel for you me and my girl have had some problems lately and I just want it all to be ok and both of us happy before i leave for art school because its pretty hard to sit down and practice with that in the back of your mind. That and is somewhat physically draining. dont worry about bringing it to CA personally iv wanted to sometimes and Idk how i would have made it this far without the help of some people on CA like the guys in my SSG. If you need someone to talk to i could potentially help well iv had problems of my own but worked most relationship problems out just PM me
the best thing to do is don't stay cooped up at home, go out as much as possible even if it's by yourself. I've been there man, but don't waste your time if she really loved you why is she with someone else?? Time to move on man go out and just walk it off talk to new girls and new people Go on other dates, you may not like the first couple of girls but in due time you will find one you like. Just don't keep holding your breath for the one your dealing with right now. I know that feeling like there is no other girl out there like her etc. but I promise you will find someone that surpasses her and you will think to yourself "well I can see why it never worked" or "dang I'm glad it's over". Just hang in there you will be fine
being in love sucks, not being in love sucks. That's life. Of course, the opposite of is also true. Being in love is amazing, being single is amazing.
Smoke some dope, feed some bread to some birds, and laugh at the world.
Channel it into your art. Proably the best piece I've ever made was channeling unrequited love.
Fuck, you guys are all so freaking spoiled... You're sad about a relationship that you've been in? Well at least you've had the opportunity to be in a relationship! These kinds of threads remind me of people who are complaining about their economic hardships when there are people living in cardboard slums in India, and homeless on the streets of their own cities. FUCK!
Anyway, sad break up song (the best one ever written...):
Did you say she has a new boyfriend now but still loves you? As in while she's with her new boyfriend she conveys the message that should her current relationship end, she might be interested in getting back with you? If that's the case then drop her. If she's happy with someone but wants you to twist in the wind for no other reason than to be a leg to fall back on should she get bored with the new guy or vice versa then that's just selfishness pure and simple and a girl like that doesn't have your best interest at heart.
One thing I've learned though is that there are 6 billion people on this earth, and since that girl obviously isn't making you happy, go find one that will. I know it doesn't seem that simple but it really is. 99% of the time whether or not we're happy is entirely up to us. Sure we don't always have control over whether or not bad shit will happen to us, but we do have control in how we'll handle it. The suns always shining in the sky somewhere. Go find it.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die
Then I met a new girl. We worked at the same company and had felt like soul mates very fast. We had a relationship for roughly 7.5 years which only ended because the problems we were facing were burning us out and there was no indication we could solve them (we worked on them for 4 or 5 years, so at least we tried). We are still close friends but since she moved to another country we don't see each other that often anymore.
About a year after I met another girl. Too bad the pain from my previous relationship backfired on me when I opened up my feelings for that girl, it might have worked out otherwise.
Nowadays I find myself attracted to yet another girl, causing some problems in my head. Why ....... is she 14 years younger (it also makes me feel old, she's in her early 20's)?
That's life I guess. I don't regret a thing, the pain is as much part of life as the pleasure. I got over it. You will get over it. And it will never be easy, at least not when your relationships ain't shallow.
But I've learned one thing. Being in love with someone is something completely different than loving someone.
Here is the song without the funny vid.
sorry jake...this is the best breakup song ever...listened to the song (not the funny video) fifteen times in a row during my last breakup...man...dont do that!!! lol. Talk about the darkness!!
Funny thing is as soon as that bullshit passes, and i am on my feet, i am happier than i was in the relationship. Yay for independence.
Last edited by Jason Manley; May 31st, 2009 at 05:24 AM.
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Relationships are awesome! But like anything in this world it takes work, risk and it takes leaving yourself vulnerable. Both when it comes go getting into and staying in relationship.
Well here's the situation (I was stupid I do admit, but recently I realized this and am now willing to be a much better boyfriend)
She's almost out of high school and I'm in college, so during college I would usually break up with her on and off and she would be this depressed over me. And I would act indifferent often and then I broke up with her when I was at a bar drunk, and I told her to move on and that she was too dependent on me. So she only got a boyfriend to try to deal with the pain when she thought that I wouldn't come back. She even told me she's using the guy.
Well then she found out that I had been hanging out with a girl at college for like a few weeks, and she now sees that I'm very desperate and depressed, but she now says that she doesn't want hurt again. She even came to my house lastnight and cuddled with me and said she felt like she should've kissed me, and she tells me that she wants me back but she doesn't know if she should trust me or what her friends will think.
Basically, she is torn between me and the easy way out it seems. The only time she tells me that she wants to move on is when she's hanging out with the guy and I bombard her with a ton of txts. But it seems that every day I talk to her she gets a tiiiiny bit closer. Like just the last day she said: "love you" in a txt for the first time in weeks. So I don't know, I suck at reading girls. I'm thinking if I give her space then she will come back. Because in the past even if she was super super angry, she couldn't go more than a day without talking to me..
(sorry that's long, just thought it would explain things better)
sounds like u are letting her eat u from the inside man, really cannot be good to keep punishing urself keepin in contact, its quite the mess of complications and text messages that seems to be all to familiar nowadays.
Want my honest opinion? forget, move on, grow
I would not go backwards for a feeling I dont understand and causes so much heartache.
Not being harsh, just my opinion based on similar circumstances
All the best dude,
That's weird that you linked me to that thread about being attracted to other artists, because actually the girl I'm involved with is an aspiring artist and it's one of the things I find attractive about her I think.
Also, I see a lot of people saying that I should move on. However, I want that to be my very last option and would much rather fix things with this girl. I know that it would be very difficult, but she is really worth any amount of work I feel. I'll probably talk to her today and let you guys know how it goes haha. Wish me luck
I don't want to be the one that comes in and starts getting all harsh on you, but from your own story it sounds like you were acting selfish and pushing and pulling this girl around. From your story I feel more sorry for her than for you. You told her to move on, she did, and now you can't deal with another guy having her.
Figure out if you really want her, or if you just don't want someone else having her. Then treat her like you care for her.