I've been planning on selling prints at Anime Expo since I'm like sharing a table with some friends.
I have this drawing that is too small to print nicely so I want to fix it up and make a larger version.
Currently, all I know is that the eyelashes are horrid and the face is somehow off since I drew it revolving around the fact that I wanted to draw the mouth... and the nearer eye is definitely wrong in some way. Well, I have that "I know it's wrong, but I'm not sure how I'm going to fix this" feeling that drives me insane.
And I think I want to delete the blue blob in front of him that was at some point supposed to be an absurdly big blue bow tie (very menacing XD). Free up some negative space?
And advice on the colors?
Each letter at the beginning of my critiques corresponds to the ones in the image I’ve posted.
A. You don’t seem to have a side plane to define the shape of the head.
B. Your guy’s left eye is totally flat and looks like you painted it from your memory of what you think an eye is supposed to look like.
C. The other eye is far too small, so your perspective is off.
D. His forehead looks more like a child’s slide than the front of a head; it’s too steep.
E & F. The mouth is far too large, especially for it to properly line up with a correctly sized eye.
G. Your pupil is out of perspective and should also be centered in the iris.
And finally, you need to work out your values and lighting to define your shapes.
(Stock image by: http://www.worldofstock.com)
EDIT: David_a_ray's critique is superb. Listen to him!
I agree with Venger - look in the mirror and see the proportions of your own face. Since this is anime, features can be exaggerated, but you still want it to be convincing.
Here is a reference for the eyes:
The farther eye shouldn't end in a point at the end. Remember, an eyeball is a sphere and the eyelids form around it in two curves. Therefore at that angle, where the two eyelids meet would not be seen - you would only see the curve of the eyeball.
The mouth is rather large, but since you said you wanted to focus on it, you could get away with it. A mouth is made up of many curves, however. There wouldn't necessarily be such a sharp point where the lips meet.
Here is a photo with a somewhat similar expression:
The teeth are rather blurry. Here's a ref that might make it easier:
I would recommend sketching some three-quarter views of faces from reference photos so you have some memory of how the bone structure and shape of a face looks in that view. I would add more values to the hair, and yes, erase the bow (or make it more "bow-like"). It's kind of a distracting blob right now and draws your eye, since everything is purple and it is blue. Define the collar more as well. The piece is very purple...
I hope you have a great time at Anime Expo! Remember that anime is based on real life as well, so reference pictures and looking in the mirror are some of the best ways to make your drawings make more sense. Keep with it!
New version, not entirely done though.
But hopefully looking more like a good face than a slab with face-shaped things tacked to it... I definitely like the eyes better.
With the re-work, you can't see the cheek other side of the vampire's mouth. Look at the mouth-open girl , even though she's got her mouth wide open, you can still see her skin on the other side.