*UPDATE at bottom* Holo Angel *Nudity*NSFW*

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  1. #1
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    *UPDATE at bottom* Holo Angel *Nudity*NSFW*

    Hello!

    I am submitting this cg painting for a contest....Its due soon and its just about done, but I am wondering if there is anything I can fix/add/change to make it more visually harmonious/engaging/effective. It is intended to be of a tasteful erotic nature.

    -I would like to add more jewelry and it looks like the ring sticks out a bit so I will incorporate that a bit more.
    -Also I feel the hair looks unfinished, and I am interested if anyone has any techniques that might help the hair look better?
    -Any anatomy issues are definitely of high importance as well.


    Any thoughts are very welcomed!

    Last edited by Mr.Punch; August 5th, 2012 at 06:22 PM.
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  3. #2
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    for me, there is a difference between pornography and erotica. Erotica is defined by its ability to not expose everything in such simple manner and by that entice the viewer letting him/her dwell on the hidden parts. It works on an idea of Pandoras box. Here we are given everything right away which simply makes this work not erotic but pornographic. So if your intention is not to make it come across as pornographic then it's not working, at least for me it doesn't. As for the execution, i enjoy the rendering and the style, but i think the hair could be worked on further. More jewelery would be a good thing.

    overall, the only thing that suggests this person is a saint is the halo. Other than that she looks more like a village blond redneck girl with a tan that didnt get to her boobies ready to have sex. Which could be a pretty interesting artistic statement by putting religion and porn together. But then again, is that your intention?

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  4. #3
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    Her face implies "blow-up doll" not eroticism. Also, her breasts make her appear pregnant, but perhaps I am biased as I am not an owner of DDs, my meager B cups aren't back breaking though.

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  5. #4
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    Technically, it's a very nice finish, the flesh tones on the white actually work quite nicely, and I rather like the minimalist look. But I'd have to echo what's been said here about the tasteful erotic nature of it. Most erotic art I appreciate (as a woman who draws both erotic and pornographic art from time to time) tends to celebrate the form of the female, where the woman is posed in a way that adds personality to her curves. Whereas here, you've given her some fairly impressive curves, but then posed her in a very rigid way. Even the slightest hint of movement in the hands (think of guys like Mucha or any of the pin up guys like Varga and Elvgren, who used the hands almost as much as the face to convey a mood) can add a lot to a woman's pose, as can the facial expression. Here she does, I have to admit, look a little blank.. there's no seduction of a knowing or innocent kind. The fact you can see almost all of her iris is probably the cause of that. if you're looking for quick immediate fixes, I'd say take a look at her expression first and foremost, especially the eyes and the way the mouth is open. Whether you do something like casting her eyes demurely down, or had them looking provocatively at the viewer could give her some personality, tell us a little about the lady behind the boobs.

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  6. #5
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    zephyri: Thanks for the helpful comment. When I started this off I was going for a stiff doll-like appearance. Almost like an anatomical excercise. Something more dynamic would've been a better challenge I do agree. I will try and give the face a little more life and salvage the qualities that it does have. Also I will try and add some movements to the hands. Thanks!

    Emerging: Thanks for your take on erotica. I suppose that is true, but it is also hard to say when a plain naked body is pornographic versus erotic. Perhaps its her sensualized features that pushes it over the edge. And yes it was pretty much an attempt at blasphemy! hehe, no offense to any religious people out there because I do respect religion, but it is only natural that they might be offended.

    Last edited by Mr.Punch; May 25th, 2009 at 06:21 PM.
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    Those really are enormous puppies, past an H cup I would say. Is there any reason they have tan lines?

    I can't quite place why, but the head dosn't look right on that body, I think the shoulders are too wide in comparison with it?? I'm not sure but I also think the coller bone is a little too high up or not angled right, sorry I can't really explain properly, not that good with anatomy myself yet.

    She also looks a little supprised by something, I think there may be something sightly off with the back eye? Also, possably closing the mouth a little to get away from the sex doll look, unless that's what you were going for.

    Watch what the jewellery is doing on the back line of the neck/shoulder, there seems to be some kind of strange cut in going on. you are right about the ring, maybe add a band at the top of the front arm?

    Nice shading on the legs though ^_^

    just trying to help, please feel free to ignore ^_^

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    Kitten:

    Thats actually very helpful. Some nice little nit picks. I will definately work on that collar bone, I totally understand what you mean. I know the head looks like it should be on a petite body but that was kinda my intentions thanks

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  9. #8
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    I agree with what has been said above about the unerotic pose and the surprised expression. I have something to add as well. One of the nipples is directly facing the viewer. The other is in an exact profile. I think that the one that is in the profile view should be moved toward the viewer. It makes it look as though her nipple is shifted too far to the left.

    Solid finish and rendering you have here.

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    Lil sstifffffffff looking. What on earth could she be looking at? A bus, a train? Dirk Diggler?

    At least make her sell it a little. Some Gesture.

    Don't really care if it's all nude but it needs to work.

    I think you might have used a ref made for 3D modeling. Good for study and well 3D modeling.

    If you had to do minimal changes you could make her feet and toes point down, her legs hanging and perhaps make it look like she's levitating. But the symmetry and action less pose just makes her look dumbfounded. One hand could cup or feel the air in different gestures.

    Last edited by George Abraham; May 26th, 2009 at 07:54 AM.
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    Yeah you are right zaorr. I'm gonna try and make some chages to ease it up a bit, then move on. Not sure why I went so stiff, but it was kind of a static anatomy study to begin with.

    Thanks for the 3d compliment, but no I haven't ever learned how to use 3d programs, nor have I used 3d models for ref(if thats what you meant). I do a lot of figure drawing however I actually used very few references for this.

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  12. #11
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    I am curious, from a digital standpoint, why she has such 'jaggy' edges around her body? Did you draw her and use the extract tool? I know they can sometimes leave jagged edges. I just think if it were a little smother it'd add to the piece so much

    PS About my previous post: I have boob envy.

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  13. #12
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    Hi Pezzle,

    Its jut the way I draw. I tend to get a lot of sharp edges because I get down to a pixel level. I was actually planning on getting away from that a bit because I've done it a lot.

    I'll try smoothing some of it out a bit. Thanks

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    It looks like a rendition of a Real Doll. That's been ordered by Hugh Heffner's more relaxed cousin.

    The part that looks the most weird to me is her hair. Add something that connects the hair to her forehead. Now it looks like a badly applied wig. As a strong second, her jewelry looks pasted and not worn. Add some shadows connecting them to her body.

    It's, by the way, nice to see an erotic/pornographic subject that's shaped like an actual woman (apart from them gargantuan breasts).

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    *UPDATE*

    Hi again and thanks everyone for the useful comments.

    Here I have an update version. I decided to transform her into a more pronounced character . Couldn't help but go for the hologram on her stomach, reminds me of the ever so cool hologram toys I used to play with as a kid. Kinda changes the feel of the drawing, but I think it works. The stiffness somehow feels OK, because she looks more like a doll/toy, or perhaps just a character design, which is in line with my original vision.

    Feed back is still welcomed, and I might be adding more to this in the future.

    Also check out the animated hologram action!:

    http://www.geoffreyklepeis.com/Images/Holo-angel.gif

    Although I do appreciate the old school look of the GIF, is there anyway to create a GIF at full quality?

    Thanks!

    Name:  Holo-angel.jpg
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    Last edited by Mr.Punch; May 30th, 2009 at 09:55 PM.
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  16. #15
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    The only thing that, erm... jumps out at me is how rough the edges are. In some areas, they almost seem pixellated, as though you took the lasso tool round a photograph and just hit delete, and in others, they're all smudgy and blurred.

    Also, the little grey bits round the bottom left seem really odd, as well.

    I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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    OK thanks Zeddish

    Yeah I dont use the lasso tool often, the overly sharp edges are just from the eraser tool and the pencil too. It never bothered me until you guys pointed it out, and I realise it has a flattening effect. I think I fixed it a bit?

    Not sure what you meant about the grey bits either, but here were some pink bits I forgot to erase and i took care of that too.

    Thanks for commenting.

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  18. #17
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    Are you using an LCD screen, or CRT? If I tilt my screen, there's still a bunch of weird little colours in the white space, mostly around her legs.

    If you're working on multiple layers, I'd recommend throwing a layer of grey or light brown down on the bottom so you can get all of the weird little bits floating about.

    Looking at this again, her left thigh seems kind of a weird shape. Kind of like there ought to be a bit more to it by the knee.

    I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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  19. #18
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    Alright thanks Zeddish.

    I use an LCD, and when I look at it from a 45 degree angle I can see what you are talking about, but its still light for me. I think I removed it all. Let me know.

    I fixed the knee a bit also so hopefully it looks better.

    I am submitting this tonight so if there is nothing else in the next few hours to crit, wish me luck!

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