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  1. #1
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    I swallowed an entire toothpick. Shit.

    So Saturday was pretty good until around 1am, when me and my buddies got it into our [drunk] selves that shooting toothpicks through tiny straws would be an awesome idea. And it was, for about five minutes. I go to take a breath, forgot to take the straw out of my mouth, and next thing you know I've sucked one of those 2-3inch fuckers straight down my throat. No amount of gurgling or coughing was doing anything, to the point where I had convinced my drunk self (with the help of friends) that there was no way I swallowed a toothpick, that would hurt like... a lot. Right?

    Wake up Sunday, all is good, I go home and start eating. OW. Sharp pains right behind my sternum. My heart drops because I know exactly what that is. I go to the ER, end up waiting 3 hours before even getting seen. Get X-rayed (who saw that episode of house where they couldn't see toothpicks on the x-ray because it's wood? Well, apparently that is true, but I thought it would be stupid to mention because this man is a trained doctor and would know better. Guess not).

    I'm now at home, reading all the horror stories on Google (cause those are the only ones that ever get published). I'm kind of scared. I don't want surgery, but I don't want to shit this out either.

    So please, I need you guys to tell me some swallowed-foreign-object [sans penis or penis-shaped] stories with happy endings. Come on, people got to swallow toothpicks all the time right? Please tell me it turned out okay. The future looks all too dim.

    Thanks...

    haha


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  3. #2
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    When my sister was a baby she would eat my legos and they always ended up in her diaper. When I was a baby I swallowed a peach pit with the same results.

  4. #3
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    No, people don't "got to swallow toothpicks all the time". It happens, but I would say the majority of people go an entire lifetime without putting themselves in that position.

    If you keep having pain, go back to your doctor. The internet and TV shows are no place to get legitimate medical advice, and happy stories will not change your personal situation.

    And, as always, avoid sharp objects while drunk.

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  6. #4
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    Won't this perforate the intestines?

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    When you got x-rayed did you tell the doc you had swallowed a toothpick or just kept it to yourself when he didn't see anything??
    Did he give you any options or tell you what could be done to help?
    Did it go down your esophagus or trachea? If you swallowed it, maybe you could drink a crapload of water until it dissolves?? Or maybe it would dissolve in your stomach acid, but if you inhaled it, you better go back to the doc cuz I think there's only one way in or out of your lungs...

  8. #6
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    Go back to the doctor now!

    I did a quick search on Google, and I'm sure you did the same one. Honestly, I've followed threads on various forums before where the original poster did end up dieing because they thought the problem wasn't very serious.

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  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by JJ421 View Post
    Go back to the doctor now!

    I did a quick search on Google, and I'm sure you did the same one. Honestly, I've followed threads on various forums before where the original poster did end up dieing because they thought the problem wasn't very serious.
    How would he be able to post that he died?
    (23:41:52) (ArneLurk) I woner of there are people who have hairy penises

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  12. #8
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    In similar situations there are people who died of it because of internal bleedings etc and others who had surgery and got out of it alright.
    Every case is different so dont freak out im sure youll be fine if you do what you have to.
    But really starting a thread in the lounge about it should be about #265 in your list of priorities right now.
    What did they say to you at the emergency department? How could you not mention that in your post? Thats the only thing that matters.

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  14. #9
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  16. #10
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    Don't panic.

    But don't be stupid, either.

    You have ingensted a 2+ inch long piece of sharpened wood. Sharpened at BOTH ends, I might add...

    Now, JUST for grins and giggles, let's pretend that it is not presently stuck in your esohphogeal tract behind your sternum area...Let's pretend that it is still freely able to travel down and through your digestive tract...

    Let's just say that in your OWN very bestest self interests, and the fact that your DIGESTIVE TRACT IS OVER 30 FEET LONG _ FULL OF NASTY DIGESTED WASTE PRODUCTS _ SOME OF WHICH YOU HAVE CARRIED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ...you way want to STRONGLY reconsider not telling your doctor everything...
    And, should the medical authorities be able to remove a piece of wood from your system, it would be MUCH better for you, ALL the way around, if said piece of sharpened wood was NOT imbedded in the nastiest part of your entire body, eh?

    The longer you wait, the more chance it has to move further inside you...

    I'm SO sorry that you did something SO totally stupid while drunk, that you are now going to bite a giant turd, but that is life.

    GO TO THE DOCTOR. TODAY.
    If you go ER, you will just incur 3-6 times MORE expenses than you will by just going to the doctor, but you have to go and get that taken out.

    IF you go soon, before swelling, infection, and sepsis kick in, you will hopefully have no more than a sore throat and a minor bill. They may be able to simply pull it back out of your mouth. No, it will NOT be pleasant, but if they do not have to knock your ass unconscious, you will save TONS of money.

    Even worst case, having surgery, will be SO MUCH LESS strain on your wallet, or your LIFE, if they can get to it BEFORE it enters the digestive system...

    NO, you CANNOT easily digest/pass this type of inorganic matter.

    Please, just accept the stupidity of how you got yourself into this situation, and the fact that you are going to now pay HEAVILY for your drunken stupidity (It IS the type of think to make you seriously think about why you really don't need to drink that much...trust...). and get yourself OUT of this situation, pronto.

    Please. Don't wait. Don't try to think your way out of this. You can't. Toothpicks do not know reason. They just know the ability to poke soft things, like human tissue...

    PLEASE let us know you're okay...hopefully AFTER you've had that toothpick removed.

    I SO hope you frame that stupid thing, and hang it on your wall to remind you forever why you don't want to do things like that ever again...

    Ah youth...May you live long enough to wonder how you survived it...

    ~M
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  18. #11
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    It's wood. It will already have mostly dissoved in your stomach acid.

    The other option, although much more unlikely, is that you sucked it into a lung. In which case, the answer is much the same as that for many other threads - just draw.

    Because you haven't got long.

  19. #12
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    Yeah, that's pretty stupid.
    Seek medical attention and this time tell your doctor what the hell you've done.

    They ain't psychic, they depend on available information and symptoms to make a diagnosis. It sounds like you withheld pretty important information.

    Seriously though, I've been apocalyptically drunk many times (Scottish..most of our annual festivals revolve around power drinking.) but not once have I thought eating sharp things was a good idea..Don't do that.

    Baron Impossible is right though, if it wasn't plastic coated it likely dissolved and you get to live to regret your stupidity..

    If you're still alive to read this, file it under "things I won't do again..".

  20. #13
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    Thanks guys, but who said I didn't tell my doctor everything? I told my doctor everything! He nonchalantly said it would eventually come out.

    And thankfully I live in Canada, so my only medical expenses would seem to be measured in hours spent in the ER.

    I am well-aware one cannot digest wood, but I'm hoping my stomach acid and bodily fluids should render it somewhat soft.

    I am also well-aware I can't go by internet stories, hence my first trip to the doctor, initial call to telehealth ontario and double-checking with town doctor over the phone.

    I haven't felt anything yet today. I'm not asking for sympathy here either, so I can't say I am entirely appreciative of some of the sarcastic replies.

    Granted, I probably do deserve some mocking. Hehe.

  21. #14
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Minja View Post
    Thanks guys, but who said I didn't tell my doctor everything? I told my doctor everything! He nonchalantly said it would eventually come out.
    OK, fair enough, crank my mocking down from 10 to 7.

    You didn't make that clear in your first post though.

    Still, don't eat sharp things.

  22. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flake View Post

    Seriously though, I've been apocalyptically drunk many times (Scottish..most of our annual festivals revolve around power drinking.) but not once have I thought eating sharp things was a good idea..Don't do that.
    Haha i love the way you worded that im going to use that from now on

  23. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minja View Post
    Granted, I probably do deserve a lot of mocking. If not for swallowing a toothpick, then for asking for happy-endings-after-swallowing-foreign-objects stories in the Lounge. Hehe.
    You made a typo. I fixed it for you.

  24. #17
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    Eat some more so the toothpick doesn't get lonely.
    ₪ "Yes, Gamera is powered by farts." -Roger Ebert ₪


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  26. #18
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    I don't think you should have been sent home. I would get a gastroenterologist on the phone. you really shouldn't have been sent home -

    You're in Canada Basically that means you cannot or should not wholly trust every doctor to be completely medically qualified.

    Please take care of yourself.

    hope you feel better soon

    stomache acid doesn't break down wood...
    Last edited by Izi; January 21st, 2011 at 08:18 PM.
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  27. #19
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    Also record the events so you can take legal action if something goes really wrong..
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  29. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naomi Ningishzidda View Post
    You're in Canada Basically that means you cannot or should not wholly trust every doctor to be completely medically qualified.
    ...
    say stupid things much??

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  31. #21
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    Stomach acid doesn't break down wood, yeah it's sharpened on both sides but i wouldn't be surprised if being in a constantly moist environment, coupled with the fact that some of that moisture is acid, would lead me to believe that the toothpick would probably grow pretty soft inside your body, maybe even as soft as a limp noodle. I've chewed on many a toothpicks in my day and have had times where i hardly chewed a toothpick and it became pretty damn soft, so on the brightside you might end up being alright. So long as the wood gets waterlogged enough.
    "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
    --- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

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  33. #22
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    Are you sure you swalloed it a couple years back a friend of mine was tacking up a poster an he had a tack in his mouth he kinda stumbled an swalloed the tack or so he thought
    the doc said he would be fine he soon had peoblems coughf'n a year later he was wees'n SOMETHIN FIERCE then one of his cough'n spells he spit up the tack

  34. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naomi Ningishzidda View Post

    You're in Canada Basically that means you cannot or should not wholly trust every doctor to be completely medically qualified.

    Sucks shit but that's it....
    Uhh? ha.. haha? I really don't want to get into a healthcare debate... but that was just stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Naomi Ningishzidda View Post
    Also record the events so you can take legal action if something goes really wrong..
    Wood to the fire!

    But yeah, I'm really hoping the toothpick will become soggy. I find some comfort in knowing that they were very cheap ones, which means they would perhaps be more susceptible to saturation.

    Anyways, a tack eh? Well, at least that would show up on an X-Ray. Thankfully I can book a CAT Scan if I wanted a piece of mind. But I think the wait for that is 1-4 weeks, unless my family doctor puts some priority on it (which, miniature spear in intestine would hopefully rank somewhere high on the list).

    Here's me crossin my fingers.

  35. #24
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    Unfortunately if it's lodged in his chest it's not going to be that moist...

    toothpicks have been known to migrate into internal organs it's pretty serious.

    France and Italy have the best health care system. Sorry, Canada's just sucks.
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  36. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naomi Ningishzidda View Post
    France and Italy have the best health care system. Sorry, Canada's just sucks.
    I agree, France and Italy are at the top bar none. But... oh.. oh. Damn Fox news.

    Drop it.

    Please.

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    Criticizing government mis-management is for the people, not against the people...get that straight you human termite you

    I watch Democracy Now, btw....
    Last edited by Izi; May 18th, 2009 at 11:30 PM.
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  38. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Naomi Ningishzidda View Post
    Criticizing government mis-management is for the people, not against the people...get that straight you human termite you

    I watch Democracy Now, btw....
    I swallowed an entire toothpick. Shit.

    I have a toothpick inside of me. I live in Canada. Your shit ain't helpin! Make your own thread.

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  40. #28
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    doesn't anyone watch House? The gypsy kid swallowed a tooth pick.

    get off the internet, go to the ER. Tell them what happened. You're not going to feel it pierce your intestines like you would feel it sticking through your skin. You don't want it to stab you in the liver or travel all around your internal organs. This isn't a penny or a marble, or chewing gum. ITS A SHARP PIECE OF WOOD, BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID. Good luck finding it now. Once the wood absorbs liquid it will become really hard to see in an x-ray as it will become as dense as the tissue around it.

    EDIT: or not, this could be a win for Darwinism.
    "Astronomy offers an aesthetic indulgence not duplicated in any other field. This is not an academic or hypothetical attraction and should require no apologies, for the beauty to be found in the skies has been universally appreciated for unrecorded centuries."

  41. #29
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    I can't tell sarcasm from real posts anymore...

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  43. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minja View Post
    I can't tell sarcasm from real posts anymore...
    I would say if pain persists even a little go to the doctor and act like it's hurting a hell of a lot more than it does - I think it just takes some attention whoring sometimes to get actual recognition from some doctors imo.. It's terrible. Well anyways good luck with this.

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