Wrath

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Thread: Wrath

  1. #1
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    Wrath

    Current uni assignment.
    Supposed to be an editorial illustration based on the article title 'Sins in the 21st Century'. Idea was an office worker (hence the shirt and tie) finally getting angry at all the little things in his life pissing him off. I put the late notice on one of the papers, I'm going to do similar things on the other sheets, maybe even a photo of his girlfriend or something, but of her nagging him.

    I've been looking at this for a while now so I'm sure there are many mistakes, but it's way too close to deadline to be making any major changes. But I welcome all feedback as I can always change it after deadline just for myself.
    Any advice on adding more emotion or movement would be particularly awesome.

    Please tear it apart,
    thanks

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  3. #2
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    The expression and rendering are impressive. The eyes seem to be conflicting, though; without body language, one could mistake it for a dentist-open-wide look. Maybe add some wrinkles above the eyebrow, or a more aggressive brow expression overall.

    The three papers above seem sort of disconnected from the worker. Perhaps have some overlapping him near the bottom, or some in the background to shake up the silhouette.

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  5. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tangleworm View Post
    The expression and rendering are impressive. The eyes seem to be conflicting, though; without body language, one could mistake it for a dentist-open-wide look. Maybe add some wrinkles above the eyebrow, or a more aggressive brow expression overall.

    The three papers above seem sort of disconnected from the worker. Perhaps have some overlapping him near the bottom, or some in the background to shake up the silhouette.
    Thanks man, I see what you mean, I covered from the nose down on the face with my hand and the forehead/eye area looks much to subdued.

    I think I'll do a couple of thumbnails to play with the placement of the papers, I do like the idea of having some in the foreground at the bottom, thanks again.

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    Very cool pic, needless to say some great skill. There are only a couple of small issues I can see with it; his right ear appears to be too big, and it looks like it disappears after it reaches the hair. I realise that this is probably just bad placement and the ear continues on in an inward manner, but it looks odd nonetheless, so it could be worth making the ear a little smaller so it clearly goes behind the hair. A slightly bigger issue is that the neck seems very... off; I realise you're taking perspective into account but it seems to go far too inward; even in a position like that the neck is much straighter, and the muscles/tendons (idk) either side of the throat are more pronounced, but changing these would likely take too much time if your deadline is soon. Another observation is that the nose seems very crooked, but that could easily be natural face shape.

    As for emotion, my only observation is that you've called the picture "Wrath" yet he looks much more sad than angry. If you did want to make him look angry obviously the middle of his brow would be more furrowed, and his eyebrows would be pointing slightly more "down". The only reason I bring it up is because right now his expression seems slightly neutral; depending on the context it looks equally that he's stood up in the middle of the office and decided to sing one of the longer notes from an Iron Maiden song; his eyes seem to be simply closed rather than scrunched up, which I think is what you're aiming for whether you want him to look sad or angry. Considering the concept of the image is based on emotion, it's probably pretty important. I'd recommend putting more detail and scrunched-ness on the outside of his eyes (toward the temples, I mean), to clearly show that he's either angry or sad.

    Anyway now i'm just nitpicking. Despite these observations, awesome pic.

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    Thanks for the detailed reply. I'm not going to lie, I completely forgot about the ears, I haven't touched them since the first rough colouring about 10 minutes in, woops! Thanks for pointing it out.
    Clearly I seriously need to rework that forehead area, a few people have mentioned it now and the anger is supposed to be the main element in the image, I can't have him being mistaken for a singer of any kind.

    As far as crooked nose and ears go, I used a reference photo of myself for the initial sketch, so I'm going to have to blame my crooked face for that one. Same thing goes for the neck I think, I'm real skinny and my neck does actually go that far in in the reference picture. I did notice a few days ago that I made the neck far too long so I think first thing I change after deadline will be the neck. I will try to be more aware of the references I'm using in future though, especially if I'm using myself.
    I also just realised I forgot to delete a previous rough hand layer behind the right hand, so everyone just pretend it's not there
    Thanks again for the feedback, fresh eyes are a god send

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    THATS FReAK'N WICKED'

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    I agree with the others here.

    The one thing I noticed also was the thumbnail on his one thumb stands out because the other thumb doesn't have a thumbnail at all.

    Not sure its a big deal but just thought I'd mention it.

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    Love the pick - looks great. I'd possibly bring the paper down more, or add extra sheets in front of him to connect them with him. Also, the background is quite placid for a picture called wrath, perhaps a darker red? Just opinions, and certainly not errors!

    The one thing that does look slightly off is the light on his throat. There's a stark shadow from his collar onto his throat, but his shirt collar doesn't look like it's being hit by a strong directional orange light.

    Looking good though. Great image.

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    looks good. I love the expression and it really has a good style to it. Anatomy wise his nose looks a little to far off to the side. Move the nose slightly to the right and I think it will fix it a bit.

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    What can I say but this is awesome. The only thing I could suggest is that perhaps that he could use some highlights or back lighting for his hair but on a very subtle level. The only thing that really jumps out at me is that his left nostril our right doesn't look right to me. Other than those two little things this piece rocks and atm beyond my skill.


    Hope that helps.


    Imagination is not a total internal power but rather it is a reflection and multi-faceted projection of our experiences and knowledge. We take in information from the world around us and intuitively re-order it into something new. Something is not created from nothing but simply transformed from what was before.
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