Oh would you please crit? (UPDATE 4-27)
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    Oh would you please crit? (UPDATE 4-27)

    Hay all! Haven't been to CA for a while- Good to be back-

    I'm currently working on a piece for my portfolio- any help would be appreciated!!

    Things to note:

    -The shading/coloring is far from finished, but if you have any suggestions on it so far go ahead

    -Feel free to red-line

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    Last edited by Zoroko; April 26th, 2009 at 11:20 PM.
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    Nice. Too late to change it and probably noone will notice but the perspective on your column pseudo-capitals is off.

    Don't forget to bring in some lush materaials to show us how palatial this envionment is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atreides View Post
    Nice. Too late to change it and probably noone will notice but the perspective on your column pseudo-capitals is off.

    Don't forget to bring in some lush materaials to show us how palatial this envionment is.
    it's never too late to change things! I see what you mean- i will pull the back column up a bit.

    Some textures would probably look nice in this- I AGREE

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    Self Crit

    Oh boy- the perspective is really off--

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    quick fix

    here is a quick fix before I go to bed-

    I have to clean up the lines now~

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    Very nice piece.

    To be honest, the perspective "errors" on the half-columns don't bother me at all and I wouldn't waste time redoing them. If I had one overarching critique to offer, it would be to suggest you actually pose two people in the relevant pose, take some photos and re-draw the figures from that. It's not impossible to tell what's going on, but a more analytical approach to the way the figures are interacting might make the picture more powerful.

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    Some thoughts:
    1) the heads of the characters look slightly large for their bodies
    2) The bust in the front is not following the contour of the column (not sure if you want it to) also has a long neck
    3) The elf in the portrait is looking a bit mannish, you might want to soften it up a bit (jaw and nose)
    4) The clothing on the upper arm of the victim doesn't look connected to the rest of what they are wearing
    5) Shading on the victims knee (forward leg) looks like it could use a re-visit. Following the line of the pants from the hip looks fine until you reach the thigh.

    Very nice image, keep it up.

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    Shouldn't the column closest to the viewer be more vertical? It seems to be at an angles, sloping towards us, while the other is closer to what I would consider accurate (I am by no means good at perspective).

    As a side note, I'm having a difficult time determining if the "victim" is male or female. My first guess is "male", but by the way he has his hand and legs positioned makes me think of how a female would carrie herself in this situation. If the character is in fact female, she seems to have a very angular chin and nose.

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    Giacomo- I didn't re-do the colomns but I did re-arrange them. I think they look a tad bit better now. I see your point with using reference, I probably will draw the characters over again some time in the future, but I'm a bit steep on time to re-do them completely.

    plasma- 1-Yeah the heads do seem a bit large, hmm thanks for pointing that out. 2-I'll look at that bust again, I definitely see what you are talking about. 3-I might feminize the portrait a bit more, but honestly I wanted it to be a bit more stylized than the figures by a little. Plus the portrait will be shaded in darker soon. 4-Yeah it does seem a little isolated doesn't it..I'll look into that. 5-The shading/coloring on the whole piece is no where near complete (i would say it is about 50%). Thanks for the suggestion though!

    amanda- The whole piece is actually tilted a bit, I thought it would give the work a bit of an interesting view instead of complete verticals. Does it seem odd that I chose to do that?
    The victim is a male, a very scrawny/young-ish male. I do see what you mean by the pose but I feel I captured how this particular character would act in this situation.

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    It's a nice drawing and it's got a fun level of detail going on. Lot's going on without anything getting distracting... but.... why on earth isn't he fighting back? The attacking guy looks pretty into it, but the guy being choked is just so... passive, like one of those staged porno fights. There needs to be some kind of tension, some sign that he doesn't want to be strangled (unless he does, which needs some explaining. I may or may not want to know). Getting that hand of his into some kind of action will go a long way, whether he's fighting off the attacker, trying to pry his hands off his threat, grasping at the air, really up to you. Other than that, I really like it, got a fun quality to it.

    -Sid

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    it seems to me the strangling man should have more light on his head. Think about the light source more.

    It's a good sketch!

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    Sidharth- You got a most excellent point! I was trying to portray the victim as being taken by surprise so he currently- how do you say this-- so scared he stopped moving- I can't quite describe it~ (the character is kind of a wimp). But I like what you are trying to tell me, I'll be sure to expirement with that a bit and see what becomes of it.

    Tasmith- Yeah I'm re-working a lot of the shading, the progress pics above show about a 50% completeness as far as the coloring/shading goes.




    Here is more progress of said shading/coloring. What do you guys think?
    Things reworked: -Head sizes -column perspective -Alignment of statue on the right -more complete value structure on everything

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    Sorry for the extra post- looking for a couple last crits- if there are any~!

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    I think you should do a colored line trap on the painting on the wall to separate it from the "living environment". Maybe go 20% or 30% lighter than black in a hue similar to the monochrome pallet you're using.

    - O

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