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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Virginia, USA
    Thanked 2,184 Times in 755 Posts

    Beware the Butcher

    Another week's illustration homework! Woo! Can't believe the semester is coming to a close. What a year it's been.

    Anyways, our assignment this week is to illustrate one of the Darwin Awards with an emphasis on anticipating something bad about to happen. I picked this one.

    The piece isn't done yet, but I've got a day or two to work on things so advice would be fantastic as usual.

    Attachment 652853

    Thanks y'all!

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  4. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Thanked 473 Times in 405 Posts
    Nice. That's my critique for now.
    [Thank you for making that Artist's Reading List, I need all the help I can get]

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Thanked 31 Times in 16 Posts
    Thats quite good, especially considering the difficult twisted pose. Personally I would have gone for a bit more horror in the poor man's face, would have amped up the tension a bit.

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Not so secret lab
    Thanked 182 Times in 129 Posts
    Nice sense od colour, tone and storytelling. I think the guy is a bit cramped at the top and needs more space. Perhaps bring the shadow up so that it falls over his foot and allows you to maintain the same aspect ratio while keeping all the same narrative info. Also gives you the chance to show off your shade rendering

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Virginia, USA
    Thanked 2,184 Times in 755 Posts
    dwardo: Thanks. With the list I really wanted to share something that is really helping me: reading! Who knew that my parents would be right along that reading is fun?

    PetarB: Thanks for the comment. I wasn't too sure about the expression... probably should've gone for more horror, though. As for the pose: the trick was good reference. I took a few shots of myself in the position. There's no way on earth I could've pulled this out without reference.

    Atreides: Thanks. I actually intended for the figure to be jammed up against the edge. I know it tends to be an art faux-pas, but I wanted to do something a little risky with the composition. I wanted the viewer to share in the discomfort/tension of the figure. *shrug* Just going with my gut on this one.

    Alright, well, I'm actually calling this one "finished" a little early this week (as in, a day early). Unless there's something glaringly wrong, I'm going to get an early start on some of my other work.

    Attachment 653512

    Thanks again!

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Hamilton, Ontario
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    I think the shadow of the butcher is too dense & crisp. You painted the floor back in around it to sharpen the line, & it almost raises the shadow up off the plane of the floor.
    Last edited by WilliamFerris; April 23rd, 2009 at 08:12 PM.

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    My drawing board
    Thanked 236 Times in 170 Posts
    Hi, you have so much good going on here. Here are some quick observations-
    His arms are not convincing. The one with the most detail looks kind of rubbery and without structure and mass.
    His feet are a very important part of your composition, yet you have not rendered them. Make them look like they are trying to find traction. His eye brow looks painted on.
    All of these anatomy problems can be handled, you just need some reference. Kick off your shoes, get on the floor and use the delay setting on your camera and snap a pic. Or have a friend take it. Or look in the mirror and draw. The reference will inform you on how to solve your problems.
    Now on to another major problem. More than half of your image is of a shadow which is not realistic. I.E. the shadow figure's "meat cleaver" arm should be larger than the other. The shadow is not receding in accordance to the degrees of recession as the floor which it falls on and it must do so, because it exists on that plane.
    All of the shadows in this piece must be governed by perspective lines which originate on the horizon line. Also, add the lines of tile inside of the shadow to show the shadow has some degree of translucency.
    The perspective on the floor looks wonky. Here is a solution- Reduce and print your image at thumbnail size, slap it on your drawing board, trace the perspective lines outward from your pic and you will see clearly what the reality of your perspective is at this point and more importantly what needs to be done to change it. That is also a good way to work out the perspective for the shadows. With this thumbnail template of corrections, it will be easy to fix the final.
    Hope this helps. Would like to see the final. Good luck to you.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Mary-Land (Act 1-2)
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    Here's what I notice:
    -My biggest gripe is the robber's expression. He should be more scared, or at least startled.
    -His eyes are hard to see; just lighten them up a little
    -Tone down the robber's skin color; it seems too brilliant for such a sinister piece.
    -I'm not liking the overuse of blue for the robber and his bag. It's too dull, and hard to tell his shirt apart from his pants. If you're so dedicated to using it, use different types of blues.
    -Wouldn't it be more menacing to have the darkness behind the shadow, rather than the robber? Or perhaps put a sort of dark halo around the entire piece that pools near the shadow.
    -Where is the red light reflecting on the robber coming from?
    -The elbow isn't convincing.
    -The feet are too sketchy, and the right one is too blocky and thick.

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