Unfortunate journey- push me!
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  1. #1
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    Unfortunate journey- push me!

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    I need you guys to push me.
    This started as me wanting to an enviro of a desert, then I remembered airships are awesome. Its supposed to be a airship on a journey, which found itself, unfortunately under some soon to be angry clouds.

    Oh yeah heres a close up of the airship
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  2. #2
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    The clouds are a little too uniform. Scatter them about in more interesting formations, this will help the believeablility of the piece immensely. Also helping would be a dramatic sun...the light looks very spread out, which doesn't help the hot-desert look you're going for. The horizon of said desert is a tad too stiff as well; there should be dunes and such within it too. The airship itself is rendered sketchily, and some strong lights and such to help bring out the form would be great. I like the composition and the idea, and it gets the feeling across pretty decent right now.

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  4. #3
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    Okay so this is where I am. Im not sure what you meant by "scatter the clouds",
    But I tried to make them more interesting. I also worked on the airship abit, shading and such. Im quite unsure about the ground shadow, so I would love some feedback on that.

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    holla if You need another close up of the airship

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  5. #4
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    I'd say rethink the composition a little. Make the airship coming at the viewer a bit. THink dynamic. Also, go look at some desert photos on Google Images. Deserts are far more interesting looking that imagination can really give credit for.

    Also, where's the light coming from? Is it a stormy sky with light coming from the horizon? If that's the case, the ground, the vessel, and the shadow it casts would be entirely different.

    - O

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  7. #5
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    Okay so I started working again, and heres what I got so far. shifted composition, and started doing the dunes, fixed the light source a.k.a sun, thats still gonna need work.... but.
    My tablet is bitching, so I need to reinstall it again, and also I need some fresh air.
    I will return, and hopefully you'll have some delicious crits for me when I do.

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  8. #6
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    At this angle, it's hard to tell whether the ship is a ship or a balloon. You've definitely improved the desert, though. The sun's light could be diffusing through more of the clouds, too; that would be great.

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  10. #7
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    Janos is offline Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on Fu! Level 10 Gladiator: Equites
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    Just some thoughts:
    -the desert can be more saturated, especially the lighted dunes, the sahdows can have a cooler colour.
    -make the clouds a lot more menacing, darker, with some purples and blues
    - the ship would be perfect in a 3/4 view, its clearly the most difficult to do, but its worth it
    - also a setting suns would be awesome, a really bright orange. and add some more stuff to the desert, some very old ruins, giant statue heads, cracks, or something else, not too much of course.

    Cheers, keep working, its getting better and better

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  12. #8
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    Not dead just on plate, great crit you guys, I keep going "damn why didnt I think of that", I quite busy failing my weeklong exam so updates may come alittle slow, since I cant move my computer from school... sucks.

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    anyway, I just want to keep It alive, so I did change the airship abit more, crits taken into consideration.

    -Inc

    Last edited by Incinerated; April 22nd, 2009 at 08:57 AM. Reason: forgot the image doh!
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  13. #9
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    Name:  unfortunate-journey-current.jpg
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    I dont know, been starring at it to long I guess, worse or better?

    -inc!

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    The dark clouds are a cool contrast. The way they don't shade the ground anywhere, though, flattens it out. The clouds themselves also lack depth.
    The ship has improved massively, though, and the colors of the ground. I'm not too keen on the brushy strokes in the desert, though, it makes it look more like hair or thread than sand. Blend the tones more smoothly, then optionally add a noisy texture if you like.

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  16. #11
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    Im kinda proud at actually finding time to be here, and work as much as I did today I really appreciate the help.
    with that said I kinda have a deadline now, because the laptop im doing
    this work on, is school property... and my final exam is in two weeks.
    I hope you guys understand that I'll be gone for awhile. Nonetheless
    Heres what I have done

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    I dont know any suggestions?

    -Inc!

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  17. #12
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    It's improved alot since the original! I think your handling the highlights but are perhaps a little hesitant on the darks (i do this myself)

    Maybe a little more shadow on the side of the boat?

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  18. #13
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    Pic on the boat? To me its seems right, but i'll give it a go.

    Edit: nope more shadows is a no go

    -Inc

    Last edited by Incinerated; December 8th, 2009 at 03:26 AM.
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