Art: Working on a short film; scenes added as they finish

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    Working on a short film; scenes added as they finish

    Hello all,

    Iím attending the Communication and Multimedia Design course in the Netherlands, working on my graduation project. My goal is to make a short 2d animation. Working alone, but ask for input at school when needed. Mostly I'm being my own teacher, supported by The Animators Survival Kit and lots of cool stuff around the internetz. Especially the Gobelins Paris shorts pld: . Also this looks like just the place to get some good critiques and comments as there is so many talent around. Cheers to that !

    Inspired by the baby-boom around me in the last 3 years, I started coming up with a story to animate.
    Stylewise, I love the illustrated golden children books from the 50ís and 60ís and the more modern take on it like the Fosterís Home for Imaginary Friends cartoon.

    I'm leaving you with the character(s) see bottom of post, storyboard and the animation-in-progress, without telling the story. It should hold up. If not, I'll post the story and maybe together we can have a look, break it down and I'll polish it from there. (the a-i-p misses frames here and there, some backgrounds so bear with me. the drawings are not supposed to be clean. later i'm tracing them with vector forms)

    storyboard



    animation in progress


    What I'd like to know:
    Does the animation make any sense (taken into account that it is not finished yet)?
    How's the animation? Actions, poses and such?
    Do the backgrounds have enough mood? (Maybe this can be answered later, as I'm posting the story)

    I would be honored with your critiques and comments, so hit me please!
    Thanx for watching!

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    Last edited by jvdz; April 21st, 2009 at 07:46 AM.
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    The background on the 2dn one is well done, though i dont get why there flying then they land back and go into the house
    i take it the kid was having fun with his pet, then it looks when he was done imaging he could fly a stranger was in his house?
    oh well nice start anyway ^_^ (hoped i helped a little bit)
    (ps: the flashing with the characters was kinda annoying my eyes, but again, not finished i guess ^_^")

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    Quote Originally Posted by armagare View Post
    The background on the 2dn one is well done, though i dont get why there flying then they land back and go into the house
    i take it the kid was having fun with his pet, then it looks when he was done imaging he could fly a stranger was in his house?
    Yes, warm, warmer.

    There are parts that need to be drawn better, yeah.
    The flashing will be eliminated once the animation is done. On 1 min. and 58 sec there's a part where the kid is in full color. How'd you like that?

    oh well nice start anyway ^_^ (hoped i helped a little bit)
    (ps: the flashing with the characters was kinda annoying my eyes, but again, not finished i guess ^_^")
    The flashing will disappear ofourse

    Thanx for the comment armagare!

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    i think you've got a lot of potential. For someone in your position this is a very ambitious project. I don't want to sound like I'm discouraging you from doing this, but early on in your animation development, it's much better to focus on smaller sequences where you can really put a lot of time showing pure skill and understanding. You eventually want to get a job, so you want something that will really showcase your maximum potential. It IS a good idea to tell a story from beginning to end in your demo reel but 3 minutes is a bit long. long story short, focus as much on quality as possible and if this is something you want to use to get a job, find about 45 seconds of the best sequence and use that.

    -start a revolution.

    AnimationSamurai.com
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    Hi,

    Thanks Daniel. Great tip. When I'm putting a reel together, I'll think about it.
    I understand your comment on the project being too ambitious. However, it's already too late to bail I'm going to finish this.

    Daniel and everyone else ofcourse, I'd like some critique on the following. It's a 10 sec fragment of the kid rolling on the ground playing with his pluche friend. I think the general movement is there, but I'm having trouble refining it. Still some shaky bits in there. What to do?

    Line


    Color


    Thanx in advance all!

    Best wishes,
    Jan van der Zee

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    ok, brace yourself. As an animator one of the things that will set you apart from everyone else is knowing what about a scene is interesting and then portraying that aspect from the best perspective to illicit the emotion you want. With this scene in particular, i believe it would be wonderfully portrayed from the stuffed animals perspective. right now its just not visually engaging. try doing some thumbnails of a top down perspective from the stuffed animals point of view, i think you'll find it not only more engaging, but also easier to animate and think about.

    -start a revolution.

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    Brace myself? If I couldn't take critique I wouldn't be here. It's all learning.

    Thanks very much for the suggestion. During the storyboarding of the animation, I never thought of having a scene from the pluche's perspective. That would work great and probably let's the audience identify with the character. Very good.
    I gave it some thought in the attached thumbnails. It's visually engaging, that's for sure. But.. (i hate the "yes...but" kinda comments, but heck) Following up that scene to the airborne scenes is hard. For the sake of argument:
    The brokendown scene I did in colour is cut from a longer scene. Don't you think it will hold up to the point where pluche is shootin to the air? I mean, having some lesser visual engaging scenes helps other scenes, visually, doesn't it? If the animation is 3 minutes of firework, isn't that tiring the viewer the same as a boring 3 minutes?

    Jut some thoughts. Thanks again!

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    well i said brace yourself because i find that with 2-d animation, it's not just the critique thats hard, its someone telling you to throw away your drawings, even if their good... and thats never easy. anyways, i'd really like to comment back to your last post but i got a little confused and i'm not sure what the concern was. if you're worried about camera angles and continuity all you have to do is shoot the scene from the pluches perspective and then toward the end of that scene just do a hard cut to the childs perspective as he's transitioning to the next shot. im not sure if i answered your question. if not rephrase it like you're talking to a 4 year old and i should understand better

    -start a revolution.

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    New scene

    Hey Daniel,

    I might sound/read confusing sometimes, no problem Maybe took your comment a tad serious. I started doubting a lot of stuff.
    In the meantime I have been revisiting some scenes, added bits and pieces, looking for improvements etc.
    Today I finished up on this scene. In the unfinished clip shown in my first post, you can see the boy lifting up into the sky accelerating and almost immediately stopping that action by floating up in the clouds. I thought it could use a better continuity like this:



    (quality stream, huh? i apologize, it looked less pixelated here )

    Please, everybody viewing: critique or comment. I need this to be good

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    i really like the perspective changes and camera work you've got going on. one thing i notice about your tendencies is that you really like the "straight on" view. always try to have your characters favor one side over the other, giving it more of a 3/4 feel. this adds depth and volume as well as intrest to your subject. nice job!

    -start a revolution.

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    Hi all,

    New scene. The boy is in the house, but not alone. He wants to rescue his pluche friend, but waits for the figure to pass. Glued to the wall he awaits his chance and let "evil" pass.




    (had this storyboarded first as a silhouet, but found a shadow more suggestive and therefor better)

    Thanx for watching!

    best wishes,
    Jan van der Zee

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    @ 1:59 that's the only shot that didn't mix well in my eyes. It seemed almost too 'Flash' quality ??? All the edges/lines looked hard. [I'm only starting to dabble in animation.]

    Thank you Daniel Boninof for dropping knowledge.
    And thank you JVDZ for sharing your WIPs.

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    gggg.......feeeeeewww....wha, wha, what?

    Man forgot all about this. Thankfully I can say I graduated!!
    A monster project it was.. I tried to squeeze in lots of areas to improve upon. I mean all of it: composition, color, design, story and from story to visualisation. Bought the "Story" of mcKee, "shot by shot" of Katz, slept with "the animators survival kit" . Tried to devour and apply all I've read. Which is maybe too much to acquire in half a year.
    I lacked lots so I learned lots and still got a long way going. I can surely point out weaknesses of the final film, but still I'm feeling proud I pulled it off. To provide a competence framework, here's where I was before the project:

    And this is the finished short film:

    Music "borrowed" from Joe Hishaishi.

    Thanks everybody for the comments and thanks for watching. Time to hit a job and improve some more!

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