Any tips to improve this please!
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  1. #1
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    Any tips to improve this please!

    Hi - small piece I am working on for weekly challenge on IFX this week is "release the beast"

    The challenge ends tonight - but I was wondering if there was anything I could do to improve this piece? That's isn't too difficult, I am still a beginner.

    Thanks!

    Name:  step7.jpg
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    The biggest thing I see is that her fangs look pasted on. They don't seem to be affecting the skin of her lips and mouth and they should. They look like they would ever fit in her mouth, and that's fine, but then her upper lip should be folded around the fangs to show this.

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  4. #3
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    Thanks! I'll try and fix it

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    Razorleaf is offline "Moving Forward" each and every day :) Level 8 Gladiator: Thracian
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    I agree that her fangs are an issue. They appear to be fangs of a vampire while you have the tattoo of a werewolf on her forehead. If she is a werewolf then I would not make the fangs so long and slender, I would shorten and round them off to appear more realistic. But if she is indeed a vampire then I would still make alterations to the fangs. They appear as though they are jutting out from the upper gum-line area as opposed to coming down from the gum area like natural eye teeth would. The rest of the painting is very nice. Good Luck!

    "Creativity emerges only when the imagination is given the freedom it deserves."
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    I don't think the fangs should be visible at all with a closed mouth, as they would have to jutt out at 45 degrees in order to sit over the lower lip. And in that case they'd distort the shape of the lips and it would look horrible anyway, like a warthog. (That's unless she had an overbite of Simpsonian proportions). If you must show fangs, it's better to do so by having the mouth open. Also you've got the fangs very widely spaced, which looks odd. These would be molar fangs. Normally fangs are imagined as elongated cainine teeth, which are nearer the middle of the mouth, and only have four other teeth between them.

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    I think you need to define the form of the underside of the nose a little better, its looking a bit odd to me at the moment.
    I didn't even read the fangs as fangs at first glance, but everything has been said that needs to be said about those.
    Also possibly crop the bottom of the image a bit, or define the neck slightly more. You seem to have a bit of a floating head.

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    Well thanks very much for the feedback guys!! Kind of you.

    Yes I realise now the fangs are an issue, and technically they don't make sense. I did alter them, but I mean hopefully I can claim artistic liscense here - because I only have a few hours til the challenge ends and I don't want to attempt the open mouth thing even though that would be better. Hoenstly I didn't think the fangs out very well at all - silly I know.

    And well she's meant to be a cat type thing, I used a tiger's eye ref and tiger paw for the logo, not meant to be a werewolf or a vampire lol I also now used a tiger tooth ref for fangs.

    I'll give the nose and neck some TLC - thanks for that suggestion - only just got your message so won't be in this WIP



    update


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    Much Better! Good luck with the contest!

    "Creativity emerges only when the imagination is given the freedom it deserves."
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    It's up to you, but you don't see a cat's teeth when it's got its mouth closed either, not even a tiger's. By the way the markings read as scars, like she's been clawed. Not sure if that's intentional.

    Last edited by dashinvaine; April 2nd, 2009 at 06:37 PM.
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    Great improvement and pretty well-done technique. The swooshy marks and the paw symbol don't seem to have harmony, though...the paw has an orange glow while the swooshes do not, and both look a little like growths instead of tattoos because of their shading.


    Aaaaand I just realized I'm too late to the party. :/

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    It's an improvement, but it still needs work. The fangs still don't look right at all- if you want to show them, why not give her some kind of expression? A devlish sneer, a smile, a frown, anything. There are all number of ways to expose the fangs while looking correct.

    The marks on the face are definitely not reading well at all. Looks like she's got worms slithering around under her skin! Make absolutely sure the values of the marks change with the values of the skin, otherwise they flatten out.

    Otherwise not looking too shabby, you did pull off the deadened look and you've got this weird, unreal texture to the skin that I kind of dig. She looks more like an androgynous male than a female to me, honestly, and that's largely to do with the shape of the nose and the thinness of the lips. Not a deal breaker, but just thought it worth mentioning. I wouldn't have known which you were going for if you hadn't stated it.

    -Sid

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