Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Morning conversation

    I need some critique on this. It's a school assignment; we were supposed to illustrate a text. I picked one of my own, so inspiration was easy enough.

    The mood is supposed to be a bit sullen, but I have always imagined the scene with wrong colour. I'm not really sure what to do with their arms, it just looks wrong. Any tips? I'm debating between fitting text into the top of the image or just cropping it. Still a WIP.

    Attachment 627882


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    215
    Thanked 202 Times in 99 Posts
    It definitely looks sullen, even with the yellow which is a little different. I might try a cool blue closer to the color outside. You can still have a warm light source somewhere inside, in fact it would look nice.

    I'm not sure what the text was, what the objective is, but it reminds me of a young girl visiting her older brother or something, maybe holiday break. Strained relationship, I don't know, but if that's the case then the arms work well. Both of their arms on the table, close but not touching, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

    I definitely wouldn't crop, you need that sense of space, I wouldn't really want text there either. What exactly was the text? I think that would help to understand your goal. Good start, though. Keep updating.
    Last edited by Collywobbles; March 24th, 2009 at 06:39 AM. Reason: It's a boy, I am dumb.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,060
    Thanks
    323
    Thanked 458 Times in 338 Posts
    His arms don't follow the plane of the table top like hers do.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Second WIP

    I smoothed out the walls, will follow up with the curtains, and I also tried adding some more depth and blue tones.

    Collywobbles: The story is a bit long, I don't think I will post it here. I'm a bit embarassed about it because English isn't my native language. But what happens on the scene is that the blond is confessing to some severe lies. They're not related, but I can see where you're coming from. The brunette is rather dependant on the blond as a friend, while the blond is more interested in a romantic relationship. The whole story is pretty much based around their love/hate relationship.

    But enough ranting, thank you very much on your tips! I think I will keep it as it is without cropping. Maybe fill in even more blue.

    MiniGoth: Thanks, I've looked into it and will be working further on it C:

    Attachment 629182

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    337
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked 140 Times in 91 Posts
    I think the dark (black) lines are a wee bit distracting and too harsh for the piece. I'd go with a dark or medium olive for the dark darks. (And I'd increase the value range. You can see a shadow for her arms, but next to his arms, if there is any shadow, it just blends in with the table. Either that or his shadow is proportionately way further out than hers....and given the light, that doesn't seem likely.)

    Also the light coming in from the outside is blueish--as per the landscape we can see from the window. Some of that should be leeching into the yellows closer to the window. You can still maintain the stronger warmer tones further away from the window. (Also try using the white-blue for the close highlights instead of the white-white.)


    RE: Your value range.....It's like you have tiny specks of very black and very white as shadows and highlights but most of your value is crammed into a close range in the upper middle. Kinda like this:

    DV: Dark Value; LV: Light Value; MV: Med Value; N: Nothing.

    so a histogram of your values might look like this:

    dv n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n mv mv mv mv mv n n n n n n lv

    I think expanding the value range will help a bit, but it could be a stylistic choice to keep it that narrow. And if so, changing your darkest and lightest value to be more in line with that will make the style look more deliberate.
    she sings from somewhere you can't see ...

    CA Sketchbook | My Art Blog

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Alright, third WIP! I've worked on the value range and positioning. I considered it, and decided to use a wider range rather than getting rid of the black lines, so it hopefully won't look as cartoonish. Thanks for the good advice, everyone!

    Kiera: Thanks, I'll give that cinematic study a try, definitely.

    Attachment 629995

Similar Threads

  1. Conversation with Smaug
    By TinyBird in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: December 15th, 2012, 10:55 AM
  2. IDW # 132 : Conversation Starter
    By Pixie Trick in forum Industrial Design of the Week
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: July 22nd, 2010, 09:11 AM
  3. Art: my work--conversation
    By growing pains in forum Finished Art
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: February 10th, 2009, 09:06 AM
  4. Art: The conversation
    By Skulldog in forum Finished Art
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: March 1st, 2005, 04:57 PM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Developed Actively by the makers of the Best Amazon Podcast