Join 500,000+ artists on ConceptArt.Org.
Its' free and it takes less than 10 seconds!
Hello, peeps. I just finished a project for school. It's an animation about two computer mice battling it out for domination. Wireless mouse vs. USB-cord mouse. My next term class is for touching up previous animations, so I could really use some constructive critiques here. Or, some positive feedback would be nice as well. Check it out and let me know whatcha think!
you got some nice movement on the cord-mouse,
the wireless could use some work, it feels static when it hovers.
maby add slightly up-down movement? (look at whipeout maby),
also switching camera-view a couple of times would add to the dynamic.
looking good so far =)
Very simple concept: highly entertaining. It kept me smiling through the whole thing even the fourth time through
It goes to the music really well too. I agree with a lot of what rattus said. The cord movement is really nice and it would be nice to see the mouse having a bit more hover motion. Maybe look at UFO animations/movie clips or look up hovercraft to see how those move?
Also, when the USB mouse does his final flip attack the way the cord falls doesn't quite seems right. I feel like the end should follow through with the spinning motion a bit more. It looks a bit like there's a hinge there that couldn't quite make around so the cord went a little stiff and just fell instead. I could be wrong. Maybe just loosen the cord up a bit in that part?
Still, I quite enjoy this
Thanks, guys. I have so many more ideas about the movement in this now. This is a one man project and I was so focused on everything in the animation that I didn't realize that the wireless mouse was following too straight of a path. Goes to show how valuable fresh eyes are I'll definitely take all of this to heart on the second pass of this.
I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts on the props, scene, and lighting. Maybe the wall hangings in the background are too much? Is the lighting a bit too dim?
Thanks again. This helps a lot!
survey isn't working
Ok, it's been way too long, but I finally got a good chance to pick this project back up since I graduated a couple of weeks ago. Woohoo, I have so much more free time!
Anyway, as suggested above, I touched up the animation. I added some motion graphics and a few slight adjustments here and there. I still think this could use some constructive critique though.
Here's another update. C&c are welcome!
awesome! that looks fun. I would try and emphasize the delayed bounces of the cord. It seems to be moving pretty much all at once.
Luxo jr, does a really good job with that
You may want to make your stage more interested, right now it is sooo symmetrical. even in Luxo the lamp is so big, and off to one side, it makes for something interesting to look at. If you made the desk look more lived in, like a pile of books to one side...or like a pen holder or something, Im sure you can figure it out.
Thanks! When you mention emphasizing the delayed bounces of the cord, are you referring to the shear wave motion of the cord? I think it could use some more s-wave movement.
You are absolutely right! The stage is too symmetrical and somewhat bare. Iíll take a good look at it with the rule of thirds and see what I can come up with. Iím liking the pile of books idea so far.
what do these type of projects cost to buy ?
im new here , i wouldnt have a clue lol
Parkerlindsey - I am not sure what you are trying to explain.
7baz - These types of projects can vary in cost. There are a lot of variables that affect the cost. It basically depends on what you want to accomplish. Some standard definition commercials are made for under $1K and other high end commercials are made for over $1M. This is just the cost to produce it too. It costs money to air it, as well.
Here it is. This is probably the last update that I'm going to apply to this. As always, C&C are welcome.