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March 3rd, 2009 #1
Winter Storybook (Crit Like Hell Plz)
I'm starting to do the finale pages for a chidren's book I've been hired to do, and here's the progress on one of them.
I've decided that as far as painting style goes, I want it to be very loose, and rather concept art looking. I've always found, even as a kid, concept art far more interesting visually than finished polished pieces.
Anyways, a transition scene from the bleak forest to a more welcoming yet surreal like pine forest. I'll add in the foot prints and all that jazz later, still in wip phase.
Hide this ad by registering as a memberMarch 3rd, 2009 #2
your trees towards the outside should be softer around the edges, in my opinion. Everything you don't want us to focus on...
that said- the trees in the middle seem fine to me... you've got a variety of hard and sharp for your aerial perspective and general mood, so I wouldn't change those around too much.
Character needs some referencing and/or anatomy work.
March 3rd, 2009 #3
I really like your style, my only crit is that I can't tell how big the trees in the distance are supposed to be. Are they as big as the ones in the foreground? Some reference, like some birds, would clear this right up.
March 4th, 2009 #4
They actually need to be shrunk down, because if she reached the forest they'd be seriously massive.
However, there is a deer in the story, so I could place him next to the trees so we know how big they really are.
Thanks for the crit!
March 4th, 2009 #5
I'm glad you're liking my work so far on this! As for the anatomy on the legs, I know he looks pretty fucked in that stance, I'm not worrying about the girl or the rabbit that much since they're in the distance. However, like I said - if his stance is that awkward looking, I have no issue fixing it.
March 4th, 2009 #6
I observed some rabbits at a friends house once and when they were happy their foot prints were somewhat sporadic while jumping around, so that explains why they're not in a straight line line here. However, I noted some things in red that are of importance that need changing.
Someone suggested adding another person or animal in the woods so we understand the distance relationship. There's a deer in the story, so I'm thinking about adding him there for a size comparison. In the other pages before this there are scenes that show the deer in close relation to the kids, so the size relationship will be understood when it comes to this part of the tale.
Also, someone reminded me, almost forgot, that everything shouldn't be in sharp focus, and I agree, blurring certain areas will give this page a lot more depth. So! I'm thinking of slightly blurring the darkest trees which are in out foreground of view, however, blending the middle ground might be interesting.
Also, the stance of the boy, I know, is unnatural. He's supposed to be putting most of his weight on his left leg and kind of bending his right one out a bit. Eh, idk... will fool around with it, but I don't think it's of a major concern and I'm sure kids wont fret about it. However, I tend to be very anal so....
March 9th, 2009 #7
Critique the perspective on the last one, I'm sure his head could be better and already see problems with his hair.
March 18th, 2009 #8
Here's one of the pages for the kid's book. There's a lot of fucked up shit going on with that background! Haha... please... PLEASE give me some crits on its perspective as well as redline things that you think are amiss.
I would really appreciate it.
March 18th, 2009 #9
Perspective... not my strongpoint, but I feel there's something iffy about the couch. It feels at a totally different angle to the rest of the perspective. I taken it into photoshop, but I just can't work out what it is.
Alternately, the wall the couch is against could be angled too high.
March 19th, 2009 #10
My first impression of this scene is "OMG they are in a padded room with arm rests". That couch has no seat cushions to speak of sitting on. Also, I don't think the couch is big enough in general. If the boy were to step back, I think he'd be too large to lay (or sit atm) on the sofa.
Also, something about their placement in relation to the sofa (and the rest of the room) seems odd to me. It's hard for me to explain, but I'm trying to imagine how they moved around the room to get to where they are now. Like... I don't know...maybe it feels like they are standing where a chair or table or wall should naturally go. With the perspective and space you have around the couch, this seems like it's huge. It makes me uncomfortable for some reason. Where are the doorways to get into this living room?
March 24th, 2009 #11
Haha, this is true, something about it is really off when it comes to size. I'm thinking about building a mini model out of clay to try and get the size relation right. As for the doorway, there was going to be one added in the background. Actually, my house has a couch and table with ample space in the living room where I can take photos with people being place holders. Hah! Anyways, thanks muchos for the crit.
@Ayem: At least you triiiied. ;-;
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I'm holding off on doing the background for now since I gotta get something done. I'll start adding it in once my week break starts. I hope to get this page done and three pages started during then since I want to get this dooooone so I can pantone all this crap. Blegh.... good ol' pantone.
March 25th, 2009 #12
I think that... what would help you out more than anything here, would be to draw the ground plane. Think of it like a grid, and you can place your figures and objects like pieces onto the grid. I guess in this case, you could think of the ground plane like the bottom of a box (the room). Construct that box first, using your vanishing point, then put everything into it. Does that make sense?
March 25th, 2009 #13
Thanks for the advice. I was thinking about building a small scale model and taking photos from various angles so I can get it as accurate as possible. Although I'll still use the grid idea with that as well as I know that's going to be super helpful in the future. I'm thinking that buy combining both techniques that I'll get much better results than by using both separate.