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Thread: Crit needed

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    Crit needed

    Hi guys
    Im working on a picture for a while (previous research sketches are in my sketchbook), but Im not still fully satisfied. Maybe something is wrong with composition.. I dont know
    I'd love to listen to your critiques and see your quick overpaints.
    Thank you from advance!
    Last edited by noiprox; March 28th, 2009 at 03:50 PM.


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  3. #2
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    Here are two sketches (Im going to finish it, but Im not sure if eeverything is OK for now):

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    Perspective looks very nice to me, only teh spear head looks weird, but that might be just cause I've never seen one in this position. Have you got anything similar that you could make a foto of? Another thing I noticed are her right and his left arm look a little boneless, maybe add some shadows to emphasize form.
    Background is awesome, but where is the light coming from?
    Interesting concept altogether.

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    Here's the next step

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    Is she standing on top of something? She seems too high up.

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    Next step

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    Excellent job with warm and cool lighting here. Props for that.

    You may want to draw a little more attention to the head of the spear, though. Sharpen it up in comparison to the rest of the image, add more contrasts to it, etcetera.

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    @Tangleworm - thank you
    After drawing details on face and environment, Im going to finish this picture more and more - spear included It is just a beginning

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    Looks OK.

    I like the March 1 sketches a lot more than the later versions—they seem much stronger in terms of composition and color and lighting than the later revisions. The figures seem to fit into the scene much better in the March 1 versions too—I can't really tell what you did to the woman in the later versions but her proportions just seems really awkward. If it were me, I'd work out the figures tightly in pencil and get them really resolved before starting in with the color.

    I'm really impressed that you worked out the setting in 3D. I think the 3D background is working really well, but again, it's working FAR better in the March 1 sketch where you painted over the architecture transparently and let the hard edges of the 3D render show through. The sloppiness of the overpaint in the most recent version really kills any sense of 3D in the picture—if you're going to paint over it so opaquely, I think you should be a LOT more careful about preserving the precision of the architectural forms.

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    @Giacomo - thank you for constructive critique, Im going to work on the background from sketch.

    Here is the current version (with details of the face)

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    I think the "hard" architectural details are an enormous improvement.

    The girl still needs to be much more prominent compositionally:

    Crit needed

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    @Giacomo - you are completely right! I should pay more attention to girl. Im going to enlarge her, not as much as you did, but the idea stays the same. Thank you!
    Last edited by noiprox; March 28th, 2009 at 09:01 AM.

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    Update

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    Looks good!

    It's obviously up to you, but right now the girl feels very distorted. I'm not sure if her perspective is mathematically "right" or not, but it feels wrong to me. You might want to build some kind of simple 3D figure maquette to put in the scene to check the perspective.

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    Hey
    First of all: Great work!!

    I got difficulties to read the eyes. They are very dark and i cant figure out whether she focuses the viewer or the air above him.

    Then it seems, that the spear is bend. A stick of this thickness is not easy to bend, especially, when it is held the way she does.
    Also the skin between the index finger and the thumb of the lying person is very "big". When i look at my hand this way, there is not that much skin there. The curve is slightly more "deep".
    Its difficult to explain
    And maybe you can add some more intense light from the windows.

    But it is already awesome!!!! keep on!

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