Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 13 of 23

Thread: Naiads - C&C appreciated before finalizing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Texas, USA
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 77 Times in 26 Posts

    Naiads - C&C appreciated before finalizing

    This piece isn't completely finished but I want to submit it for consideration to the Expose 7 book and would like some constructive criticism and comments before that. Compositionally, is there anything that rubs you wrong? Any colors, edges or shapes you find distracting or not make sense? The sense of water and its volume, does it work? Any ideas that could help push it a little farther?
    The direction should be pretty obvious but I'm wanting a classic look, not photorealistic but artistically realistic.
    I've had the idea for this piece around for months and worked on it off and on over that time. The March 2 deadline for Expose 7 gave me the well needed boot to finish it. The characters are naiads, the fresh water sisters to nymphs. I wanted them young and beautiful but also give a subtle dark undertone. Unlike nymphs who were by and large altruistic creatures, naiads were just as likely to drown you as help you.
    Thanks for looking, Cheers

    Attachment 601455
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote


  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    san francisco, US
    Posts
    59
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 15 Times in 15 Posts
    firtsly... i think you did an awesome job so far. Im loving this. well on your way to achieve that artistic realism you want.

    I know this is not complete yet, but the snake needs to be defined much better, rendering the slick reptile skin set off the naiad even better in my opinion .
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to pitin For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Adrian Wilkins's Avatar
    Adrian Wilkins is offline well not much I'm 20, I'm a hobbiest and working to be pro some day
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    1,600
    Thanked 317 Times in 172 Posts
    omg fucking crazyness... looking really nice!!!



    uuuh some stuff though...the front girl are her legs leading under the body of the maincharacter?
    are those tentacles or are those snakes? think those are snakes though, give the skin a bit more texture to it
    the background character at the top right side (if it's a female) looks like a male, not that she's ugly (if it's a she) just looking like a male, if it is leave it as it is
    water works good, could needs some refection though... just some sublte refections but only around the place where the maincharacter, i'd concider the rest as beeing less effected by ligh, therefore has less refection
    ...maybe you've noticed those awesome lightstrokes ceated by water on your skin while doing whatever in whater.. ad some to their skin... but don't overdo it..you don't wanna lose your traitional painting kinda style
    her breast seems a bit flat (on our right)
    the girl infront (again) the way the water angles her neck looks quite off compare it to her shoulder



    maan she's a real beauty 0o
    who are you anyway...no blog no sketchbook no pagelink nothing
    how dare you post awesome stuff not letting us know who you are

    hope my crit makes sence though
    Last edited by Adrian Wilkins; February 23rd, 2009 at 08:27 PM.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Adrian Wilkins For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    1,924
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked 825 Times in 678 Posts
    Looks awesome.

    If it were me, I'd blur or darken the other naiads' faces—they're just too distracting— and I'd also blur or smudge some of the underwater parts to give it a more dreamlike feel. Also, if you want to get it in the book you might want to really render the hell out of the woman's exposed flesh—right now that feels a bit sketchy. Also maybe punch up the highlights to 100% white to make the surface feel more wet. Just my two cents.

    Naiads - C&C appreciated before finalizing
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Giacomo For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    Adrian Wilkins's Avatar
    Adrian Wilkins is offline well not much I'm 20, I'm a hobbiest and working to be pro some day
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    1,600
    Thanked 317 Times in 172 Posts
    the idea of giacomo is really not bad, but i wouldn't smudge the faces... if you could manage to give it a dreamy feeling, fine if not then just stick to your guns, it's awesome as it is
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Texas, USA
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked 77 Times in 26 Posts
    My brain was going numb after several late nights working on this and these were just the kind of comments and insights I was hoping for. MANY, MANY THANKS.

    Pitin - Good point, the serpent texture could be really accentuated to contrast against the other textures. I'll find some references on how their scales highlight.

    Hygami - I'm glad you like it. Yeah, the girl's legs are going back under the main character. I drew out the figure to make sure it would work but it still looks a bit odd I think. The upper right character is supposed to be female but you are right, she has a pretty male look to her. I'll feminize her a little more. I was debating about the water reflection idea but it could work if I just keep it around the main characters and especially in the middle. I'll find some refs of wet skin and shine them up. You could be right about the bottom girl, the water line might not be that low on her neck. Have to think about that.
    My apologies, I didn't introduce myself Clint Cearley, you can check out my main gallery over at Deviant Art [link]. I've been visiting here for years but never do much. I am going to the Reverie workshop in Dallas, you going?

    Giacomo - excellent thoughts. Don't know about blurring the faces but darkening them could be beneficial as well as some well placed smudges in the water. Yeah, refining the skin and adding wet highlights could boost the visuals. Thanks
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  11. #7
    Adrian Wilkins's Avatar
    Adrian Wilkins is offline well not much I'm 20, I'm a hobbiest and working to be pro some day
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    939
    Thanks
    1,600
    Thanked 317 Times in 172 Posts
    hehe... you don't know how I'd love to come over to you guys to america for the sake of art.. but it's a looong way from germany D: ...well gonna spam your DA comments board now
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    390
    Thanks
    275
    Thanked 283 Times in 155 Posts
    That's gorgeous! Reminds me of Waterhouse's Naiads...

    I wouldn't blur the other nymphs because they are so beautiful and well done. If anything, I think they look more realistic and natural than the middle one. She's great, don't get me wrong, but there is something weird about her.

    I think it is partly because her hair is so light: Usually, even light blond hair is darker when wet (like a dark gold or copper colour). And her eyes are blacked out while the other naiads' eyes have well defined pupils so she looks a bit alien-like.

    Also, although there is a strong light on her, the water around her has no highlights. If she (and the snake) is moving slightly, there should be some small ripples around her and they would reflect the bright light.

    Aside from that, I am astonished.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Sekino For This Useful Post:


  14. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alameda, CA
    Posts
    457
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked 51 Times in 42 Posts

    the other

    how can you make the serpent something special? The girls are good, interesting, but how can you take the story, the narrative. If you can do this, the entire piece elevates to anther level of mystery and spirit, without it there is still a so what, seen it before. It's tricky, like making the unseen world seen. Look into Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, global shamanism and mythology for some ideas, you'll know it when you see it!
    all the best
    ~M
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to markwagner For This Useful Post:


  16. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,060
    Thanks
    323
    Thanked 458 Times in 338 Posts
    I want a print of this.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  17. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Ardmore, PA
    Posts
    539
    Thanks
    140
    Thanked 217 Times in 126 Posts
    About the main naiad: where her leg exits the water is a little strange, the level and angle of the water there doesn't seem to concur with the rest of the exit points. Also, I would say that a little rippling in the water would be helpful to show their positions and their relation to the water in some parts, but over all this has a very still and sinking feeling to it that adds to the mystery of the moment. I like how the water is a little unnaturally still.
    My Website / My Sketchbook / My DeviantArt

    Garlunk|Human|lvl07|pvp00|E0|Siren's Well
    Tomyris|Mystical|lvl02|pvp00|E0|Killrog's Palace
    PAINT HAMMER! The Art Making RPG!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to NickTrip For This Useful Post:


  19. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    the Lyon of the South
    Posts
    161
    Thanks
    40
    Thanked 53 Times in 51 Posts
    poet - firstly this's a very nice image, composed well, very rhythmic, and your color choices work together nicely. the only crits i'd give you are as follows

    1. all the above water aspects should be sharpened up, esp your central figure, i would also punch up the contrast [read: shadows on hair and face] on her at bit as well just to really make her pop out and that hair GLOW.
    2. you've got the beginnings of some texture on those tentacle arms, i would just ramp that up a few levels to differentiate it from the skin of your naiads.
    3. your lily pads could use some TLC, as they're going to be above or at least partially above water i'd just sharpen them up and give them a bit of texture.
    4. probably my biggest crit with the image would be the water. your treatment of the color above and below is gorgeous, BUT, there is no displacement of the forms below or no ripples. i'm not suggesting you go photo-real here, but a few ripples and highlights on the surface would not only naturalize the image more, but used compositionally, you could create some lines/forms that really direct the eye around the image. the tentacles are working in that aspect right now, but i think some ripples'd drive it home.
    also, i'm sure you're doing this, but be looking at Bouguereau, and Giambattista Tiepolo. i think this painting falls in vein with those two (esp. Bouguereau) and B's treatment of water and immaculate skin would work nicely in this image.

    i look foreward to seeing the finished piece, i'm sure it'll be a knockout.

    best,

    RM
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to Movenski For This Useful Post:


  21. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Madrid, Spain
    Posts
    1,706
    Thanks
    3,212
    Thanked 667 Times in 494 Posts
    I love the piece.. apart from what it is already said.. the only thing that bothers me is the main naiade's head.. looks a bit wonky on the back for me.. but it's just my opinion
    気計 - Quike
    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.."

    The Spaniard's Sketchbook... No holds barred
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote

  22. The Following User Says Thank You to Quike Garcia For This Useful Post:


Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Help appreciated
    By Ravele in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: December 1st, 2010, 06:14 PM
  2. Finalizing Piece
    By pafmaster in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: February 17th, 2010, 10:22 PM
  3. Art: The Naiads
    By thePoet in forum FINISHED ART & ARTWORK
    Replies: 59
    Last Post: March 24th, 2009, 11:05 AM
  4. Finalizing pose/perspective in animation?
    By nikita5 in forum Artist Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: July 11th, 2004, 04:52 AM
  5. Finalizing showreel (plz help)
    By Bo Degn in forum ART CRITIQUE CENTER
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: January 24th, 2004, 06:47 PM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
  • 424,149 Artists
  • 3,599,276 Artist Posts
  • 32,941 Sketchbooks
  • 54 New Art Jobs
Art Workshop Discount Inside

Developed Actively by vBSocial.com
SpringOfSea's Sketchbook