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  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaosrocks View Post
    tsujni the composition does hurt a little but it is a truly awesum astronaut
    um seeing as the astronaut is sort of an imaginary projection , he doesn't need to be grounded, which would I think aloow you to move him about the composition with out fear of releasing his connection to the earth, because A. his imaginary and
    B. he's weightless (if he were real, which he's not)

    theres something about lining the space capsule directly over the kids head that is weighing your composition to the left side, perhaps if there is some way you could throw the space into more perspective , the kid on the front plane, the astronaut floating in the middle and the space capsule in th edistance...or somethig like that.

    he painting style is beautiful. you know Ive always been a fan.... you can keep the astronaut...just fix the composition.
    See for some reason, I want the astronaut and child to be on the same plane.
    To signify parity, I'd assume. I added some blue lines as a countervailing structure. I'm also thinkin of doing a triptych of child alone, child with dream, and dream without child. I'm curious as to what you think.

    New image @ http://www.conceptart.org/forums/att...1&d=1234654430


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  3. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaosrocks View Post
    tsujni the composition does hurt a little but it is a truly awesum astronaut
    um seeing as the astronaut is sort of an imaginary projection , he doesn't need to be grounded, which would I think aloow you to move him about the composition with out fear of releasing his connection to the earth, because A. his imaginary and
    B. he's weightless (if he were real, which he's not)

    theres something about lining the space capsule directly over the kids head that is weighing your composition to the left side, perhaps if there is some way you could throw the space into more perspective , the kid on the front plane, the astronaut floating in the middle and the space capsule in th edistance...or somethig like that.

    he painting style is beautiful. you know Ive always been a fan.... you can keep the astronaut...just fix the composition.
    He has weight, he is weighted to the child, thats why I wanted to keep them on the same plane.

  4. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grandmassa Mr. Spect View Post
    THANKS tsujni thats great! i have done alot of things like this in my time and worse ill try to add my emotion i m still way behind in creating art but ill get there someday and this is a step in my path you RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKtsu jni
    My man, I don't rock, I wish I did. That said, your emotions will separate you from the other. What you feel and how you feel are important!

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  6. #49
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    thanks everybody i highly value your comments and this has been a lot of fun i learned alot about art and about my self this is my final because its the most complete thanks for your time and good luck everybody yall RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK KKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Battle of the Sexes TD--Gentlemen Post Finals Here[/QUOTE]

  7. #50
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    guess you decided to leave the ugly text in... your call.... might wanna rethink that.It seriously kills th eonly visual flow you have, which is the composisitonal devises of the orange touches which lead your eyes to connect withthe deer. the big blast of orange text above it might as well say DRINK BEER! for all the visual sense it makes. and why is there a shiny highlight in th eguy's ass? its the lightest focal point in the piece. nearly all of the copositional problems I mentiond in the begining still remailalthough the value and cotrast are better

    tsjuni- a tryptich would be interesting , the continuous format is a is really a challenge. to make it cohesive yet disticly have a reason for it to be a tryptich. sorry to drop interpretations on your peice. but I think you are actually making art here which is truly laudable.
    To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.

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    http://conceptart.org/forums/showthr...ight=chaos%27s

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  9. #51
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    Just a sketch so far but critiques/tips would be greatly appreciated! To explain the image, he's a little kid going to fight something in a deep ominous cave. I hope you got that without me needing to describe it.

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  11. #52
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    Hi Guys,

    Here's my Final Entry. I had considered a handful of different subject that fit into Loss of Innocence, and they all good ideas. I read somewhere on these forums that when you are creating an illustration to take your first 3 ideas and throw them away. So this is where I ended up, Adam and Eve. Please let me know what you think, I've still got time to apply any feedback to the image.

    Battle of the Sexes TD--Gentlemen Post Finals Here

    Ilaekae: Do we need to put a boarder on the images the way the ChOW and COW activities do?

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  13. #53
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    hey thanks alot chaos im gunna try this again is this better for the composition i dont really know how to fix the problems so ill keep try'n , Im going to clean it up but im try'n to get the composition Battle of the Sexes TD--Gentlemen Post Finals Here
    Jake Kobrin,corspufo those are RRRROOOOOCCCKK'N

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  15. #54
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    Spect it's looking much better. I would add some more detail to the dads hands, maybe have him patting the back of his son. maybe add some more blood to the deer.... blood.

    Jake: I can't wait to see it finished.

    Corspufo. I LOVE THAT PIECE. I love all the others too. I would suggest to maybe blurr out the back hills a bit more, they are contending with the main illustration. just my opinion.
    not that I am one to crit on enviros.... cause mine look like a 3 yr old got ahold of crayons
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  17. #55
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    Jack Kobrin, It is interesting and very difficult to give feed back for this at this stage, the kids arm with the sword seems short, the bent arm seems good, I like this perspective and the light behind... do it up!
    Corspufo, love the exspression on blot, the snake is awesome, some edges of your landscape the trees in far distance and the grass line bother me with smudges, crisp and clean these up with your eraser, smudges and distracting. I would light the snake just a bit more with high lights so we can see more of a hint of him, the skin on your people has some long rigid lines, just blend some.
    Grand ma, I love the arm down now!! and this new thoughtful daddy expression, much better!, the scene is better with it darker in the back, your fore front guys are popping!! Wow, better. Now focus on the characters and the kids face is a little blurry, do Dad hand, render away, don't stop now... awesome. dad's pants look flat, bring these guys out with more rendering and render the gun.

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  19. #56
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    Hmmm I'm sorry to post early... but I am stuck with this piece. What's with all that dead space? I really need some advice before I tore up my entry entirely!

    Great work everyone!
    Battle of the Sexes TD--Gentlemen Post Finals Here

  20. #57
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    the mother needs to be a bit bigger to balance out the young geisha being auctioned off. I think if you add a little warmer lighting to the left corner it should help, maybe lighten the gentlemen who is sitting there. I think maybe if you just sharpen the edges a bit too to make it crisper should help a lot. I love the concept though. Geisha are one of my favorites.
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  22. #58
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    I agree with Spaz and I also think you have to get rid of the line tool mess up top and on the top right side (I'm sure your not there yet?), the two lights are taking just a little too much focus away, I love the composition and add maybe some random color to the mass of bidding gents or who ever the muted guys are... it will take this section from monotone and add life. I am a Geisha and you made us look amazing!!!! Thanks.

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  24. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelly x View Post
    Jack Kobrin, It is interesting and very difficult to give feed back for this at this stage, the kids arm with the sword seems short, the bent arm seems good, I like this perspective and the light behind... do it up!
    Thanks Kelly! I'll certainly fix that arm. I was personally pretty happy with the composition. I started drawing with a much more standard look and then I just thought "Argh, all of my compositions are so boring!" so I decided to experiment and I think it turned out more interesting. It's weird, after working for a while on it with that angle, I became really dizzy when I looked away from the screen.

    @ Faust

    Yeah without further analyzing it or reading a description I can't really tell that the geisha is younger and being auctioned off. The reason is because she is much larger than her mother. If you made her smaller and more petite (despite the perspective with her mother) it would make it more obvious that she is younger.

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  26. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaosrocks View Post
    ***SNIP***

    tsjuni- a tryptich would be interesting , the continuous format is a is really a challenge. to make it cohesive yet disticly have a reason for it to be a tryptich. sorry to drop interpretations on your peice. but I think you are actually making art here which is truly laudable.
    Thanks Chaos, it means alot to know that someone understands, brings tears to my eyes. Thanks.
    Oh, and don't worry about reading interpretations into my work, I'd love to hear about it!
    Last edited by tsujni; February 16th, 2009 at 07:35 PM.

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