Fight! -updated 19 april 09

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  1. #1
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    Fight! -updated 19 april 09

    Here I am, working on a new piece. It's a bit hard to read right now, but I'll be making sure the background lines are earased from the character's lines as I go along. Still working hard to improve... I just wish I could do something as cool as omeN2501's stuff (http://omen2501.deviantart.com/) my stuff...well its always dull frankly. I meen, the colors are fine... but it's exacly that "fine" and nothing more. x_x (http://freiheit.deviantart.com/) at least I'm slowly but surely improving on the rest... but I really want to have that little extras something with that piece.

    description of the scene: she just got her katana out with the flick of her thum. I'll be adding ninja enemies serounding her on roofs and in the street. The whole in the wall will have a small explosion in. She's asian... but it doesn't show enough I think... her eyes are maybe to wide? She looks Ayumi Hamasaki T-T if anyone has a nice ref I could use for the hand reaching for the sword. the pose right now is a bit you know..dull? not enough flow and motion in it I think. The foreground element is a sort of stand with some lanterns I might add in the streets to.

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    Last edited by freiheit; April 19th, 2009 at 01:01 AM.
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  3. #2
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    Is she running or is she posing?
    all the objects dont seem to be part of the same perspective. The gril seems to have been drawn and then later added to the background.

    cant wait to see it in color

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  4. #3
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    I did my vanishing point and guide lines before everything else. There's a second point for the feeling of hight, but it's very minor, and she's posing/getting ready to leap into action.

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  5. #4
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    the tangent between the sword and the background roof support needs to be broken up

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  6. #5
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    I agree with Pitin. break up that line and it should read easier.

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  7. #6
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    yeah, they're accually appart, but I noticed that once I resise, they come to close to each other, I'll fix the tangent as I go along

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    Like the detail on the sword. The clothes do not really seem to fit. If you did a little extra research on the buildings it might give it more power. Think the nose and lips give her a western feel. The way she carries here lips just does not seem like an Asian gesture to me. The clothing seems flat and also contributes to the western feel of the character. Your forms are great can not wait to see the finished piece.

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  9. #8
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    The clothes are made to fit with her time and character rather then her etnicity... I'd like to make her look physicly asian. I'll look up some refs

    The buildings only have the roofs on I always start with those now because I used to leave them square and plain and end up with buildings looking like cardboad boxes with windows ^^;

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  10. #9
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    Here's the final lines, I'm starting the light scheme now, trying to build in a nice ambiance...anything I can do better for it?

    I know it's not polished, xD but I hope you can still get the rought idea. I'd like the explosion's light to bee seen through the unlit lanterns.

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  11. #10
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    update, I think her eyes might be to far appart and her head a bit big.

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  12. #11
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    The sword is still tangenting really bad with not only the base of the eve in the background but the doorway and window tops as well. The tip of her right thumb is tangenting with one of those cross boards of the eve as well (I have no idea what to call those construction elements, sorry).

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  13. #12
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    I don't know what's an eve. sorry could you circle it?

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  14. #13
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    Another problem that i see is that you cropped the figure at her knees. You should never crop at joints. It makes the figure look awkward. Also, it may be helpful to change her top if you can. The shape of it distorts the form of her torso because of the way it tilts.

    Last edited by Apollonian; February 28th, 2009 at 05:25 PM.
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    Name:  Sou-09_3.jpg
Views: 572
Size:  290.6 KB

    I drew lines along the background elements I was trying to describe and added arrows where the sword is tangenting.

    Beside it I tried cutting out the sword and rotating it a bit to try and illustrate a suggestion for how to eliminate that big tangent.

    I hope that makes a little more sense!

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  16. #15
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    yes! thank you!

    Appollonian: thanks for the tips, bu tI have to admit I might like the shirt to much to be willing to take it away.

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  17. #16
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    I'm going to leave the character alone for a while and work on the background so one doesn't endup being drasticly less-polished then the other. I will fix the character after though. Right now on my do-to list:

    fix the tangent between the katana and house's roof.

    Size down the head a bit.

    look at fixing the mouth angle/expression

    look at changing the shirt(?)

    Fight! -updated 19 april 09

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  18. #17
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    I like the colors you chose for the skin, it makes her pop off the background and she seems to fit in the image more than when it was just line art, but it is also hard to tell what ethnicity she is. And as said before you shouldn't have her cropped at the knees it is really hurting the composition, and we can't tell if she is posed or moving.

    Last edited by B_in_3D; February 27th, 2009 at 01:59 AM. Reason: xx
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  19. #18
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    nice Work In Progress.

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    Very nice idea, but something about the restrictedness of her pose bothers me. I think you should show a little more of the legs to convey energy, and maybe tweak the hair to show motion. The shirt's design is sweet, but I find the neon'd color a little out-of-place.
    The facial expression is very nice, though, and your anatomy is good.

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  21. #20
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    yeah, I'm thinking either pulling her up or down so it doesn't cut at the knee... and trying some other colors then green, it kinda takes to much attention dont you think?

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  22. #21
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    I would suggest pulling her up and changing the shirt color to a desaturated red. If the viewer could see at least down to her shins, they'd know it was a running pose.

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  23. #22
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    it ain't she's just ready to leap into action, her hand is reaching for her katana. Any way I could make that clearer? You're not the first (or the last) to confuse the pose.

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  24. #23
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    Whoop. >_< My bad. I guess I didn't skim the thread right.

    I'd still say move her up a bit, though. Seeing that part of the character would fully clarify the pose.

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  25. #24
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    Coming along well, the scene on the whole looks good and I like the lighting. But, you've got some major anatomical issues that need addressing. First and foremost, check the central axis on the head- her features aren't lining up. The mouth is too far to the left, and the eyes aren't evenly spaces. The breasts are sitting even, when they should be tilted at roughly the same angle as the shoulders. The legs could use some repositioning as well, I think- she looks like she's falling, not running. Otherwise it's coming together, just iron out the major kinks before trying to give it any finish.

    -Sid

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  26. #25
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    AHA! I knew something was off with the eyes! They've been anoying me since I started the shading. I don't know if you have the time... but could you give me more clues about them? Is one to high? I've been thinking one might be to much to the side or something, but I'm not sure.


    and....she's not running T-T or at least, she's not suposed to, she suposed to be more "ready to leap into action, hand reaching for katana" kind of pose... I'm thinking of just bringing her leg down completely, it's a bit less dynamic, but it might end up being easier to read.

    thanks for all the feedback guys, posting here is always tons of help.

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  27. #26
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    hey its just an idea but what if you brought the bottem of the canus down just a bit to show a bit more leg and had a lil' silhoutte of a guy sword drawn in the ally way about where the last window is .....i think it might work w/ the pose like she senses him just an idea cant wait to see it finished

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  28. #27
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    I was thinking about a ninja with a bomb in his hand or something and maybe a couple more scatered arround, like on a roof or something.

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  30. #28
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    The thought just came to me; she's looking to the right of the image. There's less space on the right than there is on the left, and putting enemies on the left would make her gaze seem more oblivious than ready. May want to change that.

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  31. #29
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    or I could put some enemies in extreme foreground and make her be surounded, ^^

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  32. #30
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    hey freiheit i hope you dont mind but i moved her over to the left an made her a bit bigger an then moved the whole pic to the left so shes look'n into the picture an i was think'n if people where in the forground they would be hugh an if they where in the background they would have to be in the air or you would just see thier head this might help make more room to play ninjas on the roof a helicopter shooting rockets what ever ya want this is just an idear so dont kill me

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