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  1. #1
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    Just looking for feedback.

    Just looking for feedback.

    The finally finished section doesn't really ever bear the fruit of critique. So I come here looking for feedback.

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    Irisia- A graphic novel
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  3. #2
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    The shadows and highlights on the guy suggest a pretty strong lightsource, yet the rest of the picture seems to be devoid of one. You need to punch up the contrast and clearly define where your light is coming from.

    The posture of the guy and angle of the perspective are great though

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  4. #3
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    The main crit that I have is that the action seems a bit off. Usually when a board breaks on one of these "Indiana Jones bridges" it's from the person walking on it. They are carefully making their way across and then the tense moment happens where they break a board and it falls.

    The way the story is unfolding here, it looks like a ghost broke the board in front of him and he is reacting to it....either that or the board just spontaneously exploded. It doesn't look like he shook it loose and it's falling on it's own accord. This is from the way you made everything splintered, I believe. Try making a little less splintering, and more dust shaking off the boards and ropes with entire, unbroken boards falling.

    Other than that, I really like the colors and painting of the trees and the angle is visually interesting.

    (P.S. the facepalm Gif is a little strange btw. Are you facepalming your own work? Seems counterproductive to me. You shouldn't be ashamed to post your work! I'd personally get rid of it)

    -D

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  5. #4
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    Duly Noted

    Thank you both for your Critiques


    The facepalm gif is just ass hattery.
    I have no problem showing my work.

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    Irisia- A graphic novel
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  6. #5
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    I like the fact that you are using massive colored shapes in your work. But so far this composition is a little too simple. You are missing tons of compositional opportunities by not referencing the landscape. All those painterly strokes you have in there... they don't really describe form. Your mountains look like "mountains painted by somebody sorta influenced by Gauguin but who didn't look at reference." And meanwhile your figure looks like you tried for realism, or at least clear-shaped realism.

    Light planes: the thigh of the left leg faces upward toward a blue sky. Yet it is painted as if warm light is shining on it. Rule: If you can't do the lighting out of your head, find some reference. Also, try George Bridgman's anatomy books. The way he talks about form will help you not only with anatomical form and lighting, but light and form on all objects, including mountains.

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    kev

    At least Icarus tried!


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  7. #6
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    I don't understand the implied difference between realism and clear shaped realism?

    Im guessing your commenting on the figure looks more realistic than the landscape but is painted very simply?

    I did, use reference but taking what you said into consideration it appears I just didn't light the figure correctly.

    Thank you for your time. Your critique has given me quite a bit to think about the next time I approach a piece.

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    Irisia- A graphic novel
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  8. #7
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    a couple of things, first, detail. space out the planks at different intervals to make it look old and oddly matched together. towards our end of the bridge they get very rhythmic. secondly why is the plank ahead of him breaking (where there's no weight). I imagine dramatic effect, but it really make sense, ya know?

    Lastly think about your environment, beyond the aestetic. The bridge leads off to no where. we don't know how far from the beginning he is, or how close to the end. Having a destination also gives the audience a better idea of what the situation is.

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    www.peterwaz.com


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  9. #8
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    I appreciate the crit.

    I do not understand the bit about destination in relation to this picture.

    The destination is implied, ie the other end of the bridge. The action and drama is wrapped up in what is happening on the bridge immediately in front of him.

    Could you please elaborate on your critique? I feel I am misunderstanding something.

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  10. #9
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    Ken, this would work well as a panel in a comic book where in a previous panel the way the bridge is attached to a cliff face is explained. But here, it is sorta too much to guess at.

    There is a thing in the staging of a scene, whether in a movie, a comic book, or an illustration, that there must be certain landmarks present. A sort of proof that the world is real. The question is always, what is needed to make the viewer believe the scene? Not an easy question to answer, because it is sort of a matter of taste. People tell stories differently from one another.

    In this case, however, the left end of the bridge, we don't know where that's going, because there's no evidence of anything even further in the foreground than that end of the bridge. And the other end of the bridge also has no cliff face behind it so that we know, "oh, that must be the cliff that the bridge attaches to."

    But even then, the thing about storytelling is, one clear true small fact, really really helps the believability. If you had researched these kinds of rope bridges and seen Exactly how they attach to a cliff face, instead of avoiding drawing the cliffs (which makes it seem like you were just avoiding the hard work of drawing the mechanism by which the bridge attaches and/or you didn't bother to look it up.)... you could have emphasized the reality by drawing the heck out of that attachment. Then, the viewer would say, "ah,this guys really knows what he's talking about!" Being an artist is like being an Author. You are telling a story. And related to the word Author is Authority. You must be an authority on the stuff in your picture, so you can easily convince the viewer, so the viewer forgets about the details and looks at the drama taking place.

    Another great thing the little true detail does is, it attracts attention away from the sketchy stuff. So if you had really done the detail of the rope bridge attachment, the mountains that you did wouldn't bother at all.

    Its a question of storytelling. You need to set up the story by really establishing the landmarks that are essential to believe the scene.

    kev

    At least Icarus tried!


    My Process: Dead Rider Graphic Novel (Dark Horse Comics) plus oil paintings, pencils and other goodies:
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...d.php?t=101106

    My "Smilechild" Music. Plus a medley of Commercial Music Cues and a Folksy Jingle!:
    http://www.myspace.com/kevferrara
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  11. #10
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    First let me say thank you. I know you are a busy man so I really appreciate you dropping back in.

    Excellent Crit. Makes me miss school a lot.


    The more I look at this thing the more I realize "I took this from a sketch to completed painting in one day and it shows."

    Tight deadlines really do suck.

    www.callicuttart.com

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    I am available for freelance work.



    Irisia- A graphic novel
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