Critiques Only..."His Eyes Were on Her"
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  1. #1
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    Critiques Only..."His Eyes Were on Her"

    Okay, in spite of what happened yesterday I am going to try this again. Please comment on the painting. Do not make personal attacks and I will be cool with criticism like I have been in the past. I did not use a grid or mechanical device to create this. Representation was not my aim. Instead I want comments on elements of design only, not representation unless such comment is conducive to the betterment of the painting as a "artistic whole."


    P.S. If will interact. Just don't call me arrogant, or "enfant terrible" and I will be cool. That is not a part of critique. I don't care how dressed up you make it.

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  2. #2
    Elwell's Avatar
    Elwell is offline Sticks Like Grim Death Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    Just post the work and let things fall where they may.
    All the jibjab just stirs the pot and causes needless distraction.
    You don't get to make the rules about how others react to your art.

    Having said that...
    As I've already told you, I think this is the most successful of your pieces. The one thing that really bothers me is the male figure's face, especially the placement of his eye. It looks like a drawing mistake, rather than purposeful distortion.

    Last edited by Elwell; January 26th, 2009 at 01:34 PM.

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  3. #3
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    nah...it wasn;t purposeful at all.

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    Try cropping this image just below the female's hand (removing the lower portion and the teddy bear) and see how much stronger your composition is -- lots of recursive lines that keep the focus on the interaction of the two figures. There a lots of parallels in these lines as well, boxing the space in a way that makes the eyeline between them very strong, which I assume from the title is your intent. The picture space opens up more, too, though fixing a couple of tangents (like the hat brim and the fall of her hair) would help a lot in this regard as well.

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    ty...

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  6. #6
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    Black Spot is online now Pew, Pew, Pew Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    She is painted much better than the fellow and I think it’s because she has colour and he has none or is too close in colour to the background. Compositionally wise, finish her skirt with froufrou and you might be set.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
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    rattsang is offline i am destructor bahhhhhhwwwaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Level 6 Gladiator: Provocator
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    well from a design point of view i think you could have placed your darks better. the highlights are mainly around the faces and draws your eyes there, which is what you'd expect but most of the values are rather mid tone with a scattering of small dark patches. since this is not a representational painting there is nothing stopping you from grouping your values better for a more solid piece. the colors seem all too close in saturation and there is nothing leading the eye. and like elwell mentions above the mans face looks like a mistake , my eye keeps going back to it and it is very distracting.


    edit: also i find it strange that you mention that you didnt use a grid or mechnical device to paint it? why would any one think you did? i never mention that i dont use these things and just assume others dont either

    Last edited by rattsang; January 29th, 2009 at 04:59 AM.
    its time to knuckle down and really lick boot!
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