It looks like shit!

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  1. #1
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    Unhappy It looks like shit!

    So lets just pretend I never made this a "finished" piece.
    And instead accept the fact that this is a sketch at best!
    How would you go about this scene?
    The lantern could do more impact, how?
    The moon could do more impact, how?

    Do you think it would be possible to keep the character detailed but with more dramatic shading? How so?

    I never had a background in mind for this painting. I just wanted to draw a mean.. whatever he is, eating noodles all innocent like. As a contrast to the whole spikey death armor. I wanted the weapon in there as well but no clue where to put it. So I just winged it the whole scene. And did a pretty bad job at it.

    Would you change the whole scene all together?

    Disclaimer:
    Some of you know I'm somewhat of a douche, so for your sake. I'm not even going to say anything unless it's at least a paragraph basically saying "thank you" (or if you think there is some info you want that is missing)

    edit; loving the paintovers.

    Name:  taurenDKnoodle_final.jpg
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    Last edited by Pawkfox; December 30th, 2008 at 08:17 AM.
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  3. #2
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    Hey dude, played with your image a bit, show how you can improve it a little. I'm no pro, so take with a grain of salt.

    the first is pretty much jsut rearranging a bit with a multiply layer to darked the shadows a bit for the dramatic lighting you want. You want to emphasise the moon so i put the second edit in with more sky. The vertical composition also goes with the azn style stuff you used.

    Having the character point out of the image isnt too good, it makes the viewer wonder what the hell is so interesting out off to the left that they can't see. You pretty much want to keep detail and saturation in the focal point, which is the dudes head. before you have bright saturated colour on the shoulder and sword which confuses the viewer about where too look. having the saturated red on his head is good cause now thats where our eye rests. also keep the most contrast between light and dark in the focal point.

    Pretty well rendered imo, but keep the rendering/sharp details to the focal point again. the rendering on the sword draws your eye away from the guy especially.

    that light behind his hand is drawing the eye a bit too now, so if you do use that com tone it down a bit.

    another thing to think about is the direction of tangents in your image. heres a link to a paintover of one of the ones a made

    http://www.flamingpaper.com/art/2008/cbedited.jpg

    you can see how the lines pretty much direct your eye toward the focal point. think about that sort of thing when you compose images.

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  4. #3
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    That is a strange way to ask for a critique.

    The way the weapon is leaning against the pole creates tangents where they connect. You could just have it sticking out of a body on the ground.

    More corpses would add to the look you are going for.

    If the moon is that far behind him, where is the light on his front coming from?

    I think the composition needs some work.

    The glowy eye things are really distracting.

    I was about to upload a paint over, and saw that waronmars had a lot of similar stuff to say. I hope you don't mind 2.


    EDIT: I also increased the size of the bowl because I thought it was too small to see.

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    Last edited by Bai Fan; December 30th, 2008 at 09:11 AM.
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  5. #4
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    really dig the concept Pawkfox an nice team work

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  6. #5
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    First I did'nt see the noodles.. But I think the badguy eating noodles is an awsome idea.. I would have the noodles as the main "focuspoint" After that the man, the sword, the bodies or the moon,, ahh you get me. bai fan's paintover popped the noodles a bit but I think the strukture and design of the evil gu is unclear. The armour is so massive I think eating noodles would be impossible. His right arm is oddly positioned and hardly notiseable(sorry, cant spell)..

    He is rendered with care but I would do him over, tone down the armour and change his pose a little..
    Got no time for a paintover now but I hope it helps.. Good luck dude.

    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

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