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  1. #1
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    Vedette - band illustration critique...

    Hello everyone, here is an illustration for a local band in Ecuador called Vedette - alternative rock is their style. This is the progress so far on the lady.
    What do you recommend in general? I'm pretty much open to every critique possible. I'm aiming for a stylized sexy female look (not at all realistic). I don't want it to look very clean, i want her to be a very urban character. People right now mainly have suggested to add a background to her, but really I want to make something like Ian Francis would do. Still I'm all ears...

    thanks in advance,
    GRINGO
    "Nihil est in intellectu quod non prius in sensu" | SB | Portfolio | FJGC (blog) | DA (Profile) | EJERCICIOS DE COLOR


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  3. #2
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    BUMP - common people I can't believe nobody doesn't have anything to say...
    "Nihil est in intellectu quod non prius in sensu" | SB | Portfolio | FJGC (blog) | DA (Profile) | EJERCICIOS DE COLOR

  4. #3
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    My first thought is she has creepy half fingers. That and I think the shoulder needs to come backwards more it's awkward and looks broken.

    As I look it seems like you're going for upwards momentum and this kind of dead ends at her hairline, maybe if it was curved up towards the smoke it wouldn't stop by eye.


    Otherwise this reminds me alot of Ben Templesmith

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  6. #4
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    I first saw the head and I thought: 'This is amazing! Look at how wonderul the shading shows the bones in the face, the full lips and the detailed nose.
    Then as I travelled further down the body, I noticed a change. There's nothing worng with the lines style, of course, I just feel... it doesn't fit with such a realisticly shaded head.
    You said that ypou were going for rough and rugged style, but that head... it's just very plished, ya know? So, I'd either make the head less realistic, or the body more so. (If I were you, I'd go with the latter - it looks like a lot of time went into that head.)

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  8. #5
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    I really like the hair and that stylised thing you're going for. Only thing I have to remark is that the hand weirds me out quite a bit, and she looks so, so clean

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  10. #6
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    hey people sorry for the bumping... but I'm glad you gave your thoughts on it.

    Neondevil - thanks for the comments. Would you mind doing a paintover of the anatomy corrections so I can correctly see what you are saying? I've never heard of Ben Templesmith before, i checked out his site and was amazed! thanks for the comparison... but i really don't feel my work has a similar feel to his.

    Ayem - hey i never really saw the head that polished.. but now that I think of it - your right. I gotta get rid of those lines on her body and up her "realism" of her, so everything seems more uniform.

    Tangrim - Hey Tangrim - can you help out with the hand? I'd love to see your paintover too. It was very difficult for me to see the correct form when i initially drew it - i'd love if someone can point out the obvious errors of it with a paintjob.
    "Nihil est in intellectu quod non prius in sensu" | SB | Portfolio | FJGC (blog) | DA (Profile) | EJERCICIOS DE COLOR

  11. #7
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    Wish I could do a paintover for you, but currently I find myself stuck on a very tiny laptop with no graphic programs whatsoever installed. Did you try holding a stick (or something like it) that way and looking in the mirror for reference? Your fingers wrap around an object like that, you'll see Or maybe they don't, when you decide she has a loose grip.

  12. #8
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    Vedette - band illustration critique...

    The main problem with the fingers is that they appeared to short, and that the palm of the hand was what was curling around. I'm not sure if you were going for a loose grip or a tightly clenched fist. (It looked like loose, so I kept it that way.)
    Just had to make them look longer by drawing a couple of lines.

  13. #9
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    I'm with Ayem about the whole thing....but also her left arm seems off, it seems shorter than her right arm due to the placement of her elbow....notice how much higher up her left one is versus her right? It's also blending in with her body....somewhat appearing as though she has no left arm. Those fingers really are an issue....they taper way too much.

  14. #10
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    If i compare your concept to ian francis' work, it seems like he uses a lot more saturated colors in specific strategic places. You have some on the mic and the stockings, but you can push that a lot more. Perhaps in the bg, making the wall change some colors? A fancy pattern on the blanket? More color.

    One thing that i personally don't like is how her left arm and her leg are kinda disappearing into 'cut offs'. The hand is hidden by the thigh, but the leg disappears in the blankets. It's too similar how it happens and with the same side of the body. Having a sexy heel/foot there would be a neat finish for that vibrant panty. Also, what's going on with the other leg? Is there a hole in the bed that eats her calf? Is it bended? In that case, you lack depth there. Add some indication of shoes there to solve? Or perhaps have the big toe peep over the other leg a li'l. The hair is nice graphically, but the hairdo doesn't seem to make sense and makes her forehead non existant. Add bangs or at least some indication of skin under that. Figure out her hairdo and then do it graphically, cos now it's too blobby.

    Nice style and goal. What you have so far looks nice, but you can push it more.

  15. #11
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    Hey you loco GriNGo,

    Personally, as a fan of your linework and style...I like it. What I think is missing, is your signiture color, although I think that could be client driven.

    The smoke is great.

    The blanket, or whatever she is sitting on, I guess I'd expect more out of it.

    Right now I see three seperate focal points...the smoke (thanks to its non-traditional rendering) the microphone, and her legs

    It makes it a little disjointed.

    I look forward to seeing this develop!

  16. #12
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    I'm a guy that loves to write long posts about all the various problems in an image and how to fix them. This is so stylish and good. I love it, I have no notes. I could talk about anatomy or any number of nit picky bits that I would have handled differently. Not a single one would make this image stronger. My hat is off to you sir. It is a great concept well executed.

  17. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by GriNGo View Post
    hey people sorry for the bumping... but I'm glad you gave your thoughts on it.

    Neondevil - thanks for the comments. Would you mind doing a paintover of the anatomy corrections so I can correctly see what you are saying? I've never heard of Ben Templesmith before, i checked out his site and was amazed! thanks for the comparison... but i really don't feel my work has a similar feel to his.

    Ayem - hey i never really saw the head that polished.. but now that I think of it - your right. I gotta get rid of those lines on her body and up her "realism" of her, so everything seems more uniform.

    Tangrim - Hey Tangrim - can you help out with the hand? I'd love to see your paintover too. It was very difficult for me to see the correct form when i initially drew it - i'd love if someone can point out the obvious errors of it with a paintjob.

    Yeah but it'll take me a little bit. In the mean time look at yourself in the mirror without a shirt for now and assuming you're a guy tone down the muscles and you should be ok.

  18. #14
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    your figure drawing sucks,
    but your color treatment is rad!

  19. #15
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    The style is very neat, I love the colors you used. The face has a lot of depth to it, but the back and arms seem very flat. I think this is because the arm closest to us has a large flat white-ish space and the back is so dark. If you can just carry the shading and depth you have in the face throughout the rest of the body you'll have it made!

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