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    Terrible Two

    So, my son has some nice over-sized, generic legos and he knows how to build with them. Yet, the only enjoyment he gets from them is throwing them. He goes to the highest chair and throws it over, as hard, and far as he can. He's getting pretty good at it. Maybe someday he'll like baseball. Anyway, he's not even two yet, and it seems he's getting a head start in acting horribly. And he still can't speak. Any tips on when this is going to end?

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    Sometimes...you gotta make it end for it to end quickly, that's what I learned with my li'l brother. >_< He liked using a plastic hammer on people's fingers... It could be a phase until the next interesting thing happens, or one day you'll get fed up from your son throwing legos (or whatever else if he moves on from them), grab that lego out his hand and...lay down the law in a way that is possibly different from my way. I'm mean.

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    In his thirties.

    Seriously though, two and three are about self awareness and testing boundaries. Also the great Id - as far as a toddler is concerned, they are the center of the universe(which is kinda true).

    Note, I'm not a parent, just an ex babysitter and aunt seven times over. And different things work for different kids, depending on the WHY.

    He could feel like he's not getting enough attention, all the way to performing a social experiment to see just how far he can push. Every kid is a little scientist, and the whole world is brand new.

    Kids will say and do things that seem completely bizarre and illogical - when you have a fuller world view. When you look at things from their point of view, the statement or action tends to make more sense. (I have the luxury of being an observer, rather than the focus, so I've had the time to think about it.)

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    Just say, "No", if he does it again, put them away and stick cotton wool in your ears. You have to be firm if you want him to learn even if you have go through that screaming match - it won't last but you must ignore it not matter what.

    I liked mine when they were two, three was a different matter.


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    My cousin's kid is almost two.. she "fixates" on things, be it picking up leaf after leaf and handing it to someone or making the same noises over and over again. I know nothing about young children, but they all do some pretty weird stuff in one way or another.

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    Have fun with that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Psypomp View Post
    My cousin's kid is almost two.. she "fixates" on things, be it picking up leaf after leaf and handing it to someone or making the same noises over and over again. I know nothing about young children, but they all do some pretty weird stuff in one way or another.
    That is swet behaviour. You say, "Thank you", and when her back is turned dispose of them quickly and tell you ate them and might be feeling sick. The reactions are funny.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TASmith View Post
    Any tips on when this is going to end?
    The day you do to him what he does to his legos...
    What?

    Blackspot im not sure what it is you call a swet behaviour and a wacom volitio?


    a'right ill leave the lounge...

    Last edited by SM; December 8th, 2008 at 03:36 PM.
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    Sweet - I spel gud. A volitio is pre bamboo, but that was in a different thread and I call it Tiny.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
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    At two, my niece found out that giving people treats and food would give her gratitude and attention. She started with taking one and one potatochip from a bowl and go the round. Later it was stuff at dinner. It came so far she would go to the kitchen and find somewhat edible stuff to give away.

    It's all experimenting, mostly to find out how the world around works. We managed to get her to understand that there was something like "too much", which was a huge improvement on most things

    She also loved to build huge lego towers and then we crashed it. Totally. Smashed it to bits and pieces. Then we picked all up and did it over again. Without all the bang and clang and noise, I don't think she'd bothered with the towers. It was the anticipation of ruining it afterwards that was the "awsome". It's how they get into our world.

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    Andrew's discovered the potatochip trick and the tower stacking. They somehow pale in comparison to the lego throwing...

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    my uncle's kid decided he didn't like the family cat....
    so he stabbed it in its back leg with a power drill.
    later, after the cat recovered, he slammed its head in a door over and over again.
    after it recovered from that... you get the picture.
    the kid is fucked in the head.
    i think he's going to be a serial killer.

    moral of the story: dont let your kid throw legos at cats...

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    We don't have a cat, although I'd like one. Some nights, though, he'll grab his pillow and put it over my head. Like last night, and he has the craziest, calm look on his face when he does it.

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    This psychologic punishment thing is destroying new generations.
    I've seen multiple children outsmart their parents because they are learning the game of psychologic 'warfare'.

    Probably a quick,correct spank on his but is less harmful in the longterm.

    Just make sure he understands the situation is bad and there are consequences for him linked to his actions.

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    While I don't oppose spanking, ignoring, that is turn your back and refusing any eye contact is pretty effective.

    The kid with the cat is where spanking and an effective playpen (with no toys) comes into force. Even at that age kids can pick up incandescent anger. My youngest learned very quickly that kicking next door's cat was not acceptable behaviour - now they are good friends.


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    They're always going to find some way of winding you up. Why not turn it into something more acceptable? Put a box in a corner of the room and get him to throw the lego into the box. Tell him he's clever when it lands in the box, and if he misses or deliberately throws wild, pick up the lego piece and show him how good daddy is at getting bricks in the box. Kids that age are fiercely competitive and want to show off any skills they have.

    It's also a good way of conning them into putting away their toys.

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    Zaxser is offline Steph Laberis Fanboy Level 6 Gladiator: Provocator
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    Quote Originally Posted by alesoun View Post
    They're always going to find some way of winding you up. Why not turn it into something more acceptable? Put a box in a corner of the room and get him to throw the lego into the box. Tell him he's clever when it lands in the box, and if he misses or deliberately throws wild, pick up the lego piece and show him how good daddy is at getting bricks in the box. Kids that age are fiercely competitive and want to show off any skills they have.

    It's also a good way of conning them into putting away their toys.
    Huh. I guess that's a good idea if the guy's started speaking yet. My little brother hadn't really started talking at that age (doesn't really talk now, and he's five. We're kinda worried) so there was a lot of pressure to figure out how to handle it nonverbally. He was already pretty ig and sturdy, so my general instinct has gotten to the point where I'd just peg him with a couple legos to show him what a pain in the ass it was.

    Of course, if he was just throwing stuff randomly, I didn't really mind. I had taught him to throw. It took a bit of patience. The rents did though, and managed to unteach him every time I finally got him to pitch.

    Meh, I'm probably not suited to give advice on this subject. Good luck.

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    What he needs is friends his age, but since we're with the in-laws right now, we're not allowed to invite guests over... Next year once we've built a house...

    Then we're going to try for another child too.

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    Do what my dad did...

    Shoot 'em.




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    Wait until you have three (puts on echoing creepy voice) Your life will not be your own. Bwahahahaaaa!

    Actually, being around adults who talk sensibly will aid him later and help him to grow up to be a delight to talk to.


    I didn't think it was possible to be called an artist when you have nothing to say. It's like being a writer who publishes individual words as books and expects to be praised for it.
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    I'm sure you've tried already, but is there any way to focus his energy on something creative or productive? Two may seem young, but I'm hearing more and more about starting kids early on semi structured learning. I've heard reports of kids as young as 2 starting to read, play instruments, all sorts of stuff that most of us think of as advanced. Maybe he's acting out because watching irrated reactions to lego throwing is more interesting than other options.

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    The talking thing is interesting. How different the ages are that it begins. And of course there's all this literature out there saying "Your baby should start Xing at Y age...so as soon as that age comes and goes they assume something is wrong with their baby because it didn't meet exactly the average. One of my friends has a 2 year, 4 month old kid who blabbers and jibbers all day long, and even strings it together into sentences and whole arguments with hand motions and all...but he'll only say a few actual words and only as single exclamations. Another couple friend of ours has a kid that's like 1 and a half and he already speaks words, and understands (and obeys) commands. You can tell him to go get things, or to throw things away and he does it, and seems to enjoy doing it. After hanging with the other kid, who doesn't listen to shit you say and basically careens about their house like an out of control monkey until he collides with something and begins wailing...I was like "OMG you have a super baby!" I know it gets everyone all bothered when you compare kids to dogs....but it's like the difference between a German Shepard, who almost WANTS to be trained, and the Chihuahua that only gives a shit if you have something it wants to eat.

    My parents said that I had a whole made up language that I talked in for a year or two. I say it's my previous life trying to make itself known, but getting subsumed by the new identity :-P hehehe But my sister on the other hand was silent for a long time, my parents thought she was brain damaged or something..but then..at like 3 and a half she just started talking in complete sentences!

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    It is different for every kid. It starts and ends at different times for all of them. The biggest key is consistency in your discipline...if you don't want him to throw legos you punish him the same way each and every time he does it. If he continues to do it, take them away for a while.

    A friend of mine has three boys. The rule in their house is if anyone (one of the boys, a friend, whoever) throws a toy over the railing from the second floor landing in their house, the toy gets trashed.

    Extreme...but it worked; plus...it isn't beating your kid.

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    Poverty helps. If the kid trashes the toy, the kid loses the toy....

    as to talking; it's not the only means of communication. He'll do it when he's good and ready. As long as he understands you and you understand him, there's no problem.

    They say Einstein didn't talk until he was 5...

    They're all individuals, but you're the boss. Set your peramaters and expect them to be respected.

    You'll muddle through,- we all do.....

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    He says, "no,no,no" when there's a scene on the Muppets he doesn't like. He doesn't like piano music, for some reason. I got him a little toy keyboard, but he's not into that either. He likes this toy car I got him. He'll open and close the doors and trunk over and over. I say the words "door, trunk, hood" while he does it, so he'll learn them. Ah well...

    I'll be happier when I can talk to him.

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    Heheheh. You say that now...

    Kids say HORRIBLE things - really, they're just being honest. While you can tell them not to say that the lady is ugly, or the man is fat, be prepared for a rollercoaster of headaches .

    He'll probably call you all sorts of nasty things when you discipline him. don't worry about it - kids do that. Though it will leave you wondering where exactly he learned all that profanity...

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    Probably from mom... I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDirtSyndicate View Post
    my uncle's kid decided he didn't like the family cat....
    so he stabbed it in its back leg with a power drill.
    later, after the cat recovered, he slammed its head in a door over and over again.
    after it recovered from that... you get the picture.
    the kid is fucked in the head.
    i think he's going to be a serial killer.

    moral of the story: dont let your kid throw legos at cats...
    Quote Originally Posted by TASmith View Post
    We don't have a cat, although I'd like one. Some nights, though, he'll grab his pillow and put it over my head. Like last night, and he has the craziest, calm look on his face when he does it.
    I'd chalk that up to some sort of "peekaboo" game... but if he starts trying to hold you under when you are taking a bath you might start to worry.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ilaekae View Post
    Do what my dad did...

    Shoot 'em.




    I used to have 27 brothers and sisters. We were down to 5 before we caught on. We were really dumb...
    hmm, are you sure you aren't part rabbit?

    Anyways, I'd be tempted to start with an airsoft gun for the 1st few offences... It would be like remote spanking.

    Quote Originally Posted by MiniGoth View Post
    Heheheh. You say that now...

    Kids say HORRIBLE things - really, they're just being honest. While you can tell them not to say that the lady is ugly, or the man is fat, be prepared for a rollercoaster of headaches .
    I don't think that kids understand that fat or ugly are neccesarily insults at first. Instead they are just making what they view as a statement. "The cat said 'meow,'" "the sky is blue," "that man over there is fat."

    I don't have too much experience with kid conversation though because the kid I babysit for doesn't say much. I think she is just being shy about talking, because she understands most of what people tell her and is very expressive in non-verbal ways. For example I usually bring over a harmonica for her to play with, and when she wants it she shouts at me and puts her finger between her lips like she would the harmonica. (Her parents have been having her visit a speach therapist, who taught her a few words in sign language, so the harmonica sign seems to be one that she made up herself and added to her vocabulary) As for actual vocalizing she hs gotten a few words... She'll say "dada" and knows how to say "mama" but usually won't (which drives her mom nuts) "bob-bob" is what she says when she wants to watch Spongebob, "yaya" of course is yes, and a variety of angry screams and crying means "no."

    However if she hears any type of music she'll start dancing like crazy (and she loves music). She also seems to love grumpy old men, or if she can't get that just boys in general. (Illy, if you are reading this, she would probably go nuts over you)

    She also seems to love animals, especially cats... though most cats are scared shitless when shes arround and take off if they see her. One of her books has a picture of a cat in it and whenever she gets to that page she hugs the book yelling "meow meow." (oh, also add animal sounds to the list of words she knows)

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    My oldest just turned 2 and does the same thing.
    His concept of play is "destroy".

    It's alright (albeit annoying), just let it be.

    If he is throwing the legos AT you or a sibling, and is aware that it hurts, and then continues to do so, then that's an issue.
    But right now, he is actually learning to throw, and I'm sure it's pretty fun for him.

    Mine does the same thing with legos (complete with sound effects),
    he also insists on pulling ALL the DVDs off our shelf onto the floor 10 times a day.
    I clean them up... he pulls them down.

    It's messy, but whatever.
    He's not hurting anyone and doesn't mean any harm when doing it.
    You concern should be his intent rather than his action.
    Is he throwing because he is having an inconsolable tantrum... or is he doing it because it's fun?

    Ultimately, if there is a smile on his face, I say let him throw legos to his hearts content.
    Just let him do it in a room or playpen where he isn't going to hurt anything.
    Eventually he'll take an interest in creating something with them instead.

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    "he also insists on pulling ALL the DVDs off our shelf onto the floor 10 times a day."

    Yes! I can't stand that. I love him and I'm not too worried about his behavior in terms of - is he bad or not. It's just aggravating. I don't want to buy those DVD's over again, and backing them up's a pain - taking time I don't have now.

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