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  1. #1
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    closed for now

    This is a character I'm not too far ahead on to change anything major.

    I included the abstract comp and the stage I'm at now.

    I just deleted some of the old images from this thread, because it's getting pretty big now.

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    Last edited by Raoul Duke; December 1st, 2008 at 03:35 AM.
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  3. #2
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    check reference for the uzi. Front leg looks broken, looks like she will fall backwards. If that is what you are wanting, good, if not, position the back leg to hold her weight.

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    The foot on the front leg is twisted way to much towards the camera it looks like a nasty injury

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  5. #4
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    I meant more for a size comparison. For the uzi to be that large, the woman would have to be TINY.

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bai Fan View Post
    I meant more for a size comparison. For the uzi to be that large, the woman would have to be TINY.
    if you think about it aren't all nurses tiny. It actually was a conscious decision. notice how the torso is a little short. I plan to use the negative space to place a badly injured giant. that should imply more scale. that is after the nurse in finished.

    Last edited by Raoul Duke; November 29th, 2008 at 03:59 AM. Reason: too much mojo
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  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by DK_sketch View Post
    The foot on the front leg is twisted way to much towards the camera it looks like a nasty injury
    is there a better way to indicate clumsiness while maintaining the confidence of the character. She is firing a power weapon in high heals.

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  8. #7
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    Still looks big to the one I am holding, but whatever.

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    If she is supposed to look clumsy with the gun maybe have both hands holding it trying to control it.

    The thing that feels so wrong with the forward leg is that it feels that the kneecap is aimed directly at us. That makes the front leg feel a bit broken.

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  10. #9
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    I think it would help if you made a quick map of the composition for us to crit. The crits now would be about the guy's size (not really all that giant) and how she is not looking/aiming at him.

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    I think the main problem here is that you're just blowing off everyone's crits. Especially for a prospective portfolio piece, you should be willing to do whatever it takes to make the artwork better.

    I actually don't mind the sharp angle of the front leg, but she's still going to fall on her ass, especially after the recoil of the gun is taken into account. She can still be clumsy and stay on her feet -- she's going to have a hard time saving that guy if she's falling down.

    Also, the jpeg compression is killing you here, I hope you have it saved under a non-lossy format.

    But she has a lot of character, and I really like the way you handled the drapery on her nurse outfit.

    "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it" -- Confucius

    "Imagination is more important than knowledge" -- Albert Einstein


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  13. #11
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    kickback on gun fired. should be pointed slightly up if the gun is more powerful then women

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  14. #12
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    OK OK OK. y'alls twisted my arm I'll have a variation of poses before the days end. I'm still keeping this one around because in case you couldn't tell I hella dig it.

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    I thought she was intentionally off-balance because of the kickback from the gun. Especially since she's losing her cig(?) and in the original, shells are still in the air. I might be wrong but I think you can salvage the pose if you work harder to sell the fact that she's actually falling backwards. I find it very cute that she's so tiny that the kick from the gun literally throws her backwards like that.

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    don't sweat the proportions or anatomical fuckups, just focus on the kinetic energy of the gestures.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aniviel833 View Post
    I thought she was intentionally off-balance because of the kickback from the gun. Especially since she's losing her cig(?) and in the original, shells are still in the air. I might be wrong but I think you can salvage the pose if you work harder to sell the fact that she's actually falling backwards. I find it very cute that she's so tiny that the kick from the gun literally throws her backwards like that.
    duh I'll change that in future revisions. and the cig is actually a needle. It does look wrong now that you mention it.

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  17. #15
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    Which way is she supposed to be going? 2 of your sketches look like she is going forwards and two backwards.

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  18. #16
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    the original plan was an abrupt backward stop and awkwardly bracing for it. now it's up in the air.

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  19. #17
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    get some friends and a camera and take some pose reference.

    reference is fun.

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  20. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bai Fan View Post
    get some friends and a camera and take some pose reference.

    reference is fun.
    nope. If you have any useful suggestions or favorite a gesture please let me know.

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  21. #19
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    I just added a new pose. and I'll add more as I go along but for right now I'm going to round some friends and shoot tequila instead of reference.

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  22. #20
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    I am done with you.

    You are not only closed to critiques, but rude at the same time. If you want to stay a poor and lacking artist, then go for it.

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  24. #21
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    Sorry if I got a little rude but I'm trying to move this forward. I don't like set backs, nobody does. Nobody likes the taste of medicine either. I for one am open to constructive crits, but some are setbacks. It's better than a career of setbacks.

    If you don't like the way I draw (baifan) then maybe you shouldn't post, but if you have helpful ideas to improve the piece then I am eternally greatful.

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    Her left leg looks broken. And I think her outline is too thin. The dude getting rescued has thicker outlines and it makes the scene look weird to me, as if he was intended to be in front.

    I like the style.

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  27. #23
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    First, I'm studying to be a Nurse, so I like your choice of theme.
    The Uzi looks a lot like it's pointed more towards the guy than in the direction her body seems to be going. Also, if you still wanted to take Bai Fan's suggestion about making her appear a little more off balance by using both hands, it wouldn't be a bad idea. I know she has the doctor's bag. But, I usually associate that with doctors. The needle is good, nurses are usually associated with that, and maybe a stethoscope or something could be falling off of her if you wanted to show some more medical things.
    Also, Bai Fan is right about her leg looking a little broken. If you take his suggestion and shift it to where it isn't pointed directly at us, it may look a little better. It can't hurt to try.
    Also, the guy behind her doesn't really seem to be behind her. I'm with Psychotime, I think that it's the lines. Since her lines are so thin, she appears to be the one behind.
    Just remember, all of us want to help you. That's why we leave the suggestions, we're trying to make you a better artist and that's what we're all striving to be, right?

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  29. #24
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    I agree the line weight on the big guy is overbearing. I'll work on a solution to the left knee issue. I think the angle of the leg is important to the comp though.

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  30. #25
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    the guys way too forward to make the composition balanced you need to make sure composition is not only balanced left to right but also front to back. maybe move him a little back.
    also their are outline spots where it is still black on the monster which brings my eye to the faults.
    the leg on the monster is way too juxpositioned their should be more of a bend neer the knee.
    one last thing dont make snide comments twordes bai Fan hes spent plenty of his time to help u get composition right no matter the skill level bai fan helps and dosnt care about style or your way of drawing.

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  32. #26
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    I've no idea what's happening in this picture - and the characters appear to be on two different planes of reality due to the linework and changes in sharpness.

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  34. #27
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    I lightened big dudes line weight a bit. unfortunately it's obscuring some of the muscles. But sacrifices must be made.

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  35. #28
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    I've no idea what's happening in this picture - and the characters appear to be on two different planes of reality due to the linework and changes in sharpness.
    I did go overboard on the atmosphere splitting the two. It was an attempt to compensate for the line weight issue without changing it.
    the leg on the monster is way too juxpositioned their should be more of a bend neer the knee.
    the stretched out leg right?

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  36. #29
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    I dumped the fur on big dudes back and shoulders, and the an atmospheric layer. I had merge his layers in order to shorten his stretched out leg. I have two different versions saved already. I also have her slipping on a puddle of blood coming from his ankle, which is something I've been pondering for a while.

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  37. #30
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    The tangent of the flash from the barrel and the guy's hat is distracting.

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