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Thread: Snatch up that One Piece

  1. #638
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    I noticed how you decreased the animosity between the
    characters in the comic book. The trees are alive just like
    in Poltergeist. They will eat up every child like a raw breed ogre
    eats up a Venetian Capricciosa. As the waves got smaller and
    as the ocean got quiet down, your impressions became more
    and more fortified. The ones who did not saw you in action till
    now, they not realize the big bang that you can dish out.
    You have put on a monostatic policlinic once again.
    Future generations will browse your book over and over
    again, taking fresh breaths out from your camping shed.
    A truly admirable amount of quality soul food have you served
    in front of us. Period.
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  3. #639
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    @keroulisnikos- thank you! that was a long time ago good times though.

    @habrok- you like those? haha. I got a million of them. hardly ever bother to scan. here's another set just for you :p

    @ plissken- how have you been my friend? I hope you enjoyed to meal. and I hope you are feeling happy again! ill see art from you again soon I bet


    also, I notice I have made 4 stars. yippy!
    now I've gone into the realm of coolness and will likely have to watch out as not to get stepped on by the big boys :p

    heres some pencil sketching:
    Attachment 1496933

    Attachment 1496934

    Attachment 1496935

    Attachment 1496937

    and heres an update on my webcomic's page. I think it's good like this?

    Attachment 1496939
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  4. #640
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    I'm assuming this is a rough draft of your comic page, right now. I'm not familiar with the story, but there are some visual technical things that I can point out.

    Your comics bubbles are very mechanical right now. Not very nice on the eyes. You should make the bubbles to match your lettering, give the letters enough space to breathe. Whenever the lettering touches the bubble, it makes a very distracting tangent. You want the bubbles to go hand in hand with your art and lettering.
    (btw, I think your bubble sizing is better than mine, mine are getting odd and thick. It's mostly the space between the words and the balloons and the organic shape of the bubble that I wanted to show you.)

    Attachment 1497088

    The 'tadadada', which I think is gun-fire, at first I thought was him laughing really strangely. Sound effects looks best when hand drawn, and when you have them in the clean CC font like now, it reads like a speech bubble would instead of a sound effect.

    Next, your panels are informative enough, but not engaging. Your shots are head-on, and though you've got some good pose ideas going on, you're not really pushing it as far as it could go.

    Attachment 1497101

    You've got to think about what you want the audience to know or feel. For instance, I see the platoon, I see a cocky captain, and I see... this one guy? He doesn't appear in any of the other panels and he's not doing anything to keep the story moving, so why am I seeing him? (I haven't seen your other pages or know the story, so there may be a reason and I'm just missing it). But in the page as is, I'm clueless to why he's there.

    Also, the panel is just kind of boring. There's no real emphasis on anyone except the one character to the foreground, who I am assuming isn't the focus since you are following the captain. You could have handled the panel differently, chosen an interesting angle to show his power/influence over the men or something that exaggerated his attitude. Or you could've gone a mysterious route and threw silhouettes of the trees in the foreground seeming to 'close-in around the men'. There are dozens of ways to present the scene. The angle you choose changes the audience's experience. What do you want the audience to know or feel? It's something you've got to consider when approaching each individual panel.


    I'm no pro, but these are a lot of things I've heard from other people. I hope it's helpful. The story does sound interesting from some of the comments I've read. Goodluck! c:
    If you have the time, please stop by my sketchbook, Chock Full o'Nuts.
    I would appreciate any advice or critiques.
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  6. #641
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    Thanks SO much for the advice on my perspective pieces! it really helps.
    Glad to see recent updates, this stuff is good THIS drawing with eh female figure in the center was really good.
    Continue on man, just do hundreds of wire figures and post the best!
    cheers!
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  7. #642
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    @dkhutcheson- hmm gonna have to do freehand blubbles I think. but its a good point.
    as for the angles, I just feel stupid now. I cant seem to watch all the things I should be considering when doing a page.

    maybe I should make a list for myself.
    1-what should the story show?
    2-what will the story steps be (parts)
    3-how will that translate into panels (page layout)
    4-what will the text/picture relation of every panel be?
    5-what will the panel show; mood, angle etc.
    6-what will the text be.

    @sporus- haha! you're welcome man! when do we see more? ill keep logging away if you do
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  8. #643
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    To be sure, comics are insane business. I have a really tough time keeping up with things too. There's so much to consider, but people keep telling me it becomes second nature after a while.
    If you have the time, please stop by my sketchbook, Chock Full o'Nuts.
    I would appreciate any advice or critiques.
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  10. #644
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    Drawing comics is so hard even if one has good drawing skills, there are so many other things to care for... I don't dare to try such things yet, maybe comic strips, those are easier... So I will at least lurk here, hoping I will learn something (or help, I have eyes, after all) I agree with DKHutcheson (now that I've read the post, I could spot only the "foreground guy" problem, I didn't understand his presence either).
    I'm cheering for you!!!
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  12. #645
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    Quote Originally Posted by ashess View Post
    @dkhutcheson- hmm gonna have to do freehand blubbles I think. but its a good point.
    as for the angles, I just feel stupid now. I cant seem to watch all the things I should be considering when doing a page.

    maybe I should make a list for myself.
    1-what should the story show?
    2-what will the story steps be (parts)
    3-how will that translate into panels (page layout)
    4-what will the text/picture relation of every panel be?
    5-what will the panel show; mood, angle etc.
    6-what will the text be.

    @sporus- haha! you're welcome man! when do we see more? ill keep logging away if you do
    Framed ink might help. It's good to see that your thumb lines.

    http://www.amazon.com/Framed-Ink-Dra.../dp/1933492953
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  14. #646
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    You could practice by doing lots of thumbnails for each shot. For example, "Establishing shot of captain instructing troops; setting: forest" and then do as many variations on that as you can think of.

    It would be a pain in the ass for doing a whole story--and doesn't take into account story flow and beats and nice, communicative shot variation--but the point is more to train your brain to see different ways of showing a scene.


    David Petersen's blog has a lot of posts about his process, btw. Here's one:

    http://davidpetersen.blogspot.com/20...rote-blog.html

    There's more, but he doesn't seem to use a tagging system, so you really have wade through the back posts. Idk how helpful they are to you, but at least it's a fun blog?
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  16. #647
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    interesting variety.

    Found this you said funny on blackspots sketchbook: "computer issues, huh?.. wouldnt wish them on my worst enemy!" LOL- I know all about it.

    keep it up!
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  18. #648
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    I like the P.R. day 1 day 2, those were good. I can see its her realising some important event is about to happen... and then she kills her "daddy" ? am i right?
    I actually really like that. as in... how it is delivered. it was not IN MY FACE but i figured it out. it was cool and subtle is what i meant to say lol

    also from the above posts this guy sketch is good. the legs and hips seem narrow but this stood out to me.
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  20. #649
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    Wow, more than a month away,
    I hope you are doing fine my dear.
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  22. #650
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    Quote Originally Posted by LtPlissken View Post

    Wow, more than a month away,
    I hope you are doing fine my dear.
    aah, dont worry bout me
    I really, really feel bad about bothing like this though. I have no excuse. well, maybe one. it all started with a sprained wrist from drawing at a wrong angle.. so I took some days off. but I had all these ideas, so I did some writing instead. (typing went well enough); and then.. well, once you start typing up a story, you gotto finish it, right? aah, anyway. halfway done with that :p

    now, I keep trying to do drawing studies again, but it's hard to start up again. if you know what mean. I got a lot of snippets on paper. but they all suck. ahh, I know, I just gotto bite through, but with a story half done I let myself get distracted and start writing again instead.

    story of my live :p focus, girl. focus!

    try at the pale greeter thing:
    again, it's a half-hearted try. the next cow thing, which is supposed to greet bad souls at hell's doorway. I wanted something humanoid with faces for all for all the people that person wronged. didnt turn out quite right.. uh :p
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