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Thread: Critique appreciated. m(_ _)m
November 3rd, 2008 #1
Critique appreciated. m(_ _)m
Hello, my name is Lynsley. I've been drawing manga professionally for three years now, but I only started to learn real anatomy when I started going to art college about two months ago. (I'm only vaguely familiar with the head structure for now.)
I was in this art slump a few days ago when I decided to give realism a try, and this is what came out of it. I've polished it quite a bit, since I now plan to submit it as cover art (empty space for text) for our school's animanga magazine. Still, this is my first time doing something like this, so I'd really appreciate your advice / suggestions. Thanks in advance!
Longnu is an immortal / spirit character from my original manga, and this is supposed to be her human form. Theoretically she's supposed to look something around 14 years old. Her element is water.
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I would sharpen the edges a little and tone down the glare on her face. It looks like an over-exposed photograph. Also, I think there's something not quite symmetrical about the left and right eyes. Symmetry is beauty. Further rendering to bring out detail in the cloth, skin, hair and background might also be beneficial. I like the use of color and light/shade, apart from that over-exposure problem.
November 3rd, 2008 #3
I personally think you could play to the over exposure by adding slightly darker shadows to contrast it. It could work to make it stand out more - bold it.
But I have the feeling your going for a more softer approach to the painting.
Still I love the dreamy feel of it.
The shoulder needs to be expanded out just a tiny bit I think to give proportion to the head.
But welcome!! So great to finally see you on here
November 3rd, 2008 #4
November 3rd, 2008 #5Registered User
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I agree with the aforementioned eye symmetry problem
Also--the cornea in the right eye seems to be too far right, or at an angle. That may just be an illusion due to the asymmetry.
November 4th, 2008 #6
I am pretty new to these forums and this is the first time that I have attempted a critique of anyone's artwork. I don't feel that I'm qualified to offer a solid analysis but, as these forums are focused on education and the exchange of ideas, I will try to offer some constructive criticism. Please take what I say with a grain of salt.
I like the mood of this piece and I think you have expressed the "water element" wonderfully. I also like the rendering of her hair and the touches of reflected light on the figure. She seems inviting, yet mysterious.
That said, I do agree with the the opinions posted above. My first impression of the composition was that the placement of the figure occupied a central position on the picture plane. She seemed to be floating and not grounded. My second impression was that some anatomical features of the head did not reflect those of real world human form, which I believe was your intent. Specifically, the eyes seem a bit too large and her ear did not follow the contour of her skull.
Don't get me wrong. I love exaggeration and abstraction of forms. My scribbles are full of abstractions, both intentional and unintentional. I base my criticisms on what I "thought" your intentions were. If I am mistaken and have been too harsh, I apologize in advance.
I made a quick paint-over to show what I mean if the words failed.
The Following User Says Thank You to AUG For This Useful Post:
November 4th, 2008 #7
@ AUG: Wow, thank you so much! I forgot to mention that, yes, I did make the eyes larger than they should be... Is it called semi-realism? But I get what you're saying about the ears and the contour of the skull, and everything else. I shall certainly refer to your paint-over when editing my image. I'll post the edited image as soon as I get to finish it, and hopefully, I don't disappoint. Again, thank you so much!
November 4th, 2008 #8
oi, mushroomtale... good to see you here XD
the lighting on her face doesn't even match the setting. the lake should show effects of a very warm yellow orangish sunlight.
her eyes too, they're focused at different views... unless her eyes are really like that (w/c is the case for some people, opposite of cross eyed).
Is she wearing a neck piece?
I could just imagine what your fans would have to say to us critiquing it 8D
...(oh I can see you lost most of them on your transfer)
November 4th, 2008 #9
I like it alot. I'm not sure I would suggest any changes to the figure. I think you have accomplished a nice watercolor feel without getting too blurry. you style is consistent throughout the piece.
You might consider toning down the pink which is quite overpowering. Someone with better color skills may be able to offer some insights (or disagree with me).
November 4th, 2008 #10
Much more believable after you shrunk the eyes, but go online and look at some reference into the SHAPE of realistic eyes. I think if you got the shape down better it will add a lot.
November 6th, 2008 #11
personally, I don't think it needs any changes at all. big help I know.
By making the eyes smaller you've gotten rid of the manga look to it, and seeing as you intend this to be the cover of a manga magazine, that is probably not a good thing.
I think the lack of sharp lines and details reinforces the calm feeling you've achieved with the background and colour scheme, as does the water colour look.
November 6th, 2008 #12
I am impressed AUG, I didn't read the post and thought that was an update by the original artist.
November 10th, 2008 #13
Bai Fan: I should have been more clear about the paint over. I now see how it can be confusing. Thanks.
Spikey88: You make an excellent point. I am not familiarized with the manga genre. Yes, I live in a tiny box. I'll refrain from making judgments until I broaden my knowledge.
Mushroomtale: I understand what your intentions are regarding the level of realism in your portrait. I was focused on the idea of a two dimensional character being portrayed in a hyper realistic or photographic fashion. Disregard my comments.
BTW, I visited your site and I really like the artwork that you have posted in your gallery. Beautiful lines and colors in all of the pieces. My favorite is Shenjie: BOND.