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This is more graphic design than illustration/art, but I recently had a client that wanted the front of their building in a flyer I was building for them. They were clear they wanted the sign in the photo. So they sent me a photo, and there's a big tree blocking half of the sign. "Oh well," I think, "it's what they sent me so I'll use it." They get their proof and I get a call from the client, where he's complaining that he can't see his sign. "It's the photo you sent me to use..." I say. "Can't you photoshop out the tree?" he asks.
Apparently people think Photoshop is nothing short of magic, capable of plucking out objects to reveal what is behind them. I had a similar experience with a client who wanted to remove two people (who took up a rather large amount of space in the photo) to show the building behind them.
Who else has funny stories of clueless clients?
Not a client, but when I was in a Computer Art class in uni the gal sitting next to me was constantly bugging me to say how good she was (she was a "professional photographer") and how smart. Even when I would wear headphones to give her a hint, she'd pull on my arm to get my attention. Anyway...one day she got a straight-on picture of a chair off the internet and asked me how could she get photoshop to rotate it so she could see the TOP of the chair. I just kinda of stared in disbelief ("photographer," remember?), but before I could recover she set about showing me how she was using the free-form rotate and couldn't figure out which CW CCW or degree would show her the top. It took me a really long time to convince her that the image was 2D and there was NO WAY to do that.
Probably the funniest exchange I ever had with a client was when a pompous suit asked me, "You'd like me to jump out that fuckin' window right about now, wouldn't you?"
I answered, "No, I'd actually like you to go with me to your bosses office so I can grab your nuts in one hand, your jaw in the other, and THROW you through his fuckin' window."
(We were on the 12th floor--his boss was on the 36th floor...)
"I want one of those cool pictures of people with lines all over them!!"
"You mean like a 3D wireframe..?"
"Sadly, most artists prefer to give the elite their attention."
I was just thinking about making a thread like this but I don't have any stories because I've never had any clients. Didn't want to look like a moocher.
Though one time my dad did want me to draw him a picture of a table (a diagram of a worktable for his boss I think) directly from the side, but somehow has all 4 legs visible.
I love my dad.