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Thread: To push it further?

  1. #1
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    To push it further?

    <<If you're too pumped up to critique like a spartan, skip the text below >>


    The intro
    -------------
    Hello,
    Im an over eager draftsmen in training yet stuck at dull work positions which have nothing to do with drawing thus no REAL experience flow occurs. So far i had a friend in the industry who kept pushing anatomy on me all the time and so far i did, alot, but i kinda realized i need more than simply anatomy alone to make it in this business.

    The Goal
    ----------------
    So far, with that i leaned i have slight chances for two goal positions: Storyboarding, or character design.
    ETA for portfolio: 1-2 week

    Your help
    ---------------
    Anything you can dish out to help Enhance this dirt, id gladly do exercises but time is running out for this portfolio run, so i need to know what do you suggest to push this further without breaking the current flow.




    Character design attempts:
















    Just drawings:















    Life drawing as attachments:

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  2. #2
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    Hey Greetings Mokuu
    First off good luck on your portfolio thing. Im actually engaged in a somewhat similar circumstance right now. So here goes
    1. Your character designs overall show a lot of potential. You can tell you are really thinking about creating a strong silhouette but not overcomplicating which is great for animation. That said I realize the proportions are cartoony but I still might make this first guy a little taller. His legs seem a little to short to be believable in relation to his upper body. Also Im not sure if the texture youve got going throughout is pencil work showing through but Im not entirely sold on it.
    2. I like this guy a lot as well, great character. His left arm is a little thicker than his right and his gun is tilted at a really awkward angle. Props should always be shown at the angle that most completely describes their form (usually 3/4). Showing the gun from above not only makes it sort of ambiguous but seems like a drawing cop out.
    3. This girl's right shoulder seems disconnected from her body. Lowering it a tad might help. Also her breasts seem to hang a little low. I would consider moving her right arm to get it out of the way of the body so that the right side of her torso is visible and her silhouette incorporates more positive to negative space relationships. I also might consider expanding this to a full body pose. With character sheets like these the idea is to show the character as completely as possible for future reference. I think all your characters could benefit from some sort of really interesting piece. They are all a little plain at the moment. Giving them one individual piece that really stands out would not only give them more character, but some real visual impact. This could be anything, a unique weapon, piece of jewelry, clothing, tattoo, etc.
    4. This guy's pose is very dynamic. I would consider fleshing out the value relationships a tad and tightening your rendering over all. Also while I appreciate the attempt to give the knife some volume it also makes it look a bit blunt. Seems like that side would be the sharp one.
    5. Good Reference sheet. I might consider decreasing the saturation of the background. Its a little jarring right now which distracts from the figure.
    6.7.8. These are nice more environmental pieces. 7. could use some more background elements, even if they are very vague. 8. is, like many of your pieces, extremely saturated. Experiment with a more delicate color palette. Also some pieces incorporating more blending might be nice. You use the solid blocks of color very well, but in a portfolio you might want to show a little more versatility. 8. also seriously needs some different lettering. If you really want to do it digitally check out http://www.blambot.com/. Its got a ton of good comic lettering fonts for free.
    9.10. These are unfinished and therefore should not be included in your portfolio. If you already know all this and were planning on finishing them by all means disregard this but your portfolio should represent your very best work so it definitely should not include sketches. That said including sketches alongside the finished versions is not a bad idea to show progression from concept to finished product.
    Life Drawings. These are very nice and show a great understanding of pose and balance. Including a few things like this in a portfolio is never a bad idea and a solid understanding of the human form is absolutely essential. More finished fine art type work could really flesh out your portfolio so turning one or more of these into fully realized finished works might not be a bad idea.
    Hope I havent bogged you down entirely! Hope you find some of this helpful. Best of luck with your project man. Keep up the good work.

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  4. #3
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    huge thanks for that, started to work right away since morning after seeing this and :











    Still at work on these thanks alot for the great feedback, will still mod it.

    Bring on the criticism ! ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

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  5. #4
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    yeah, I just happened upon you today on entervoid. I think backgrounds are your weakness, judging from one of your battles there. You almost completely avoid them in your portfolio. I would do a series of locations to get a better hang on perspective and foreground, middleground and background relationships. Your animation exaggeration works well although your anatomy still looks a bit weak at some points as shown in your life drawing. Your quicker gesture drawings are more anatomically correct than your longer drawings which suggests to me you need to draw the gestures for you longer pieces faster. Meaning, when you draw a piece that you intend to color and complete, draw the "skeleton" of it faster and looser as you would a gesture drawing.

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by michaelharris View Post
    yeah, I just happened upon you today on entervoid. I think backgrounds are your weakness, judging from one of your battles there. You almost completely avoid them in your portfolio. I would do a series of locations to get a better hang on perspective and foreground, middleground and background relationships. Your animation exaggeration works well although your anatomy still looks a bit weak at some points as shown in your life drawing. Your quicker gesture drawings are more anatomically correct than your longer drawings which suggests to me you need to draw the gestures for you longer pieces faster. Meaning, when you draw a piece that you intend to color and complete, draw the "skeleton" of it faster and looser as you would a gesture drawing.
    Entervoid work is old, very old work and mostly experimental for the heck of it so lets toss that subject aside.

    As for the drawing, well there's a current issue which is constantly getting on my nerves now-a-days, i could either get more speed and soft lines holding the pencil in a writing position yet less work on volume and form but still managing to get the figure under less than 30 seconds or hold it like a paint brush on a canvas and get better understanding of volume and form yet, less speed, sometimes staying on certain parts of the body instead of flowing around and working each parts at the same speed.
    Its a real [-------] cause switching between both is quite random and sometimes inconsistent.
    Any suggestions?

    EditsIMG]http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y206/Mokuu/onemoretime2-3.png[/IMG]



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