My RPG project..

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  1. #1
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    My RPG project..

    I'm sure you'll find tons of stuff to mark here..

    Her gimpy arm and the rail she's leaning against will change..

    Anything else please tell me...

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    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

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  3. #2
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    WOW, I have so many questions! Why is she half naked in the middle of a city? Why is there an ominous father figure in the background about to show her how he's a man?

    I'm no professional but here is what I see. Aside from the rape scene about to begin, the girls face is a little big. I used the liquify tool to make it a bit more proportional. It kinda looked like you were going for a 3/4 view but stopped somewhere in between. Fashion magazines love to photograph in 3/4 view. I suggest checking out some of those. Trace the face if you have to. You already mentioned the short arm. It's short. It could just be the way the body is positioned. Not quite sure on that. Get a second opinion. The buff dudes arm was way out of proportion. the forearm was SUPER long while the bicep looked like he was full on flexing even though his arm was straight. The shoulder also went a bit high. And her boobs are huge. As a lover of breasts I'm not necessarily complaining. I'm just suggesting a more tactful beauty.

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  4. #3
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    No tactics here
    Thanks man.. Yes you gave me a lot to think about.. And I should probably tell the hole story...

    STORY OF THE PIC:
    I see now the guy's(Vulgo) expression is a little angry.. In the story, wich is an RPG maker game(forgot to mention), he's about to reject her. She's supposed to look unshore because now she's making a move and is really not sure he wants her(she have troble speaking her feelings). He sees that and rejects her the moment after.

    Ok.. about the look of the characters.. It's a f****d up world(future post nuclear and such) with a lot of deranged characters, missformed or superpowered you name it.. to melt the absurdum with realism I choosed to mix anime with relistic cartoon style like, depending of the personality of the character.

    Vulgo,the guy behind is the main character of the story and his eyes are never exposed.. He's also 600 years old and can't die but somehow longing for it... He's a bit depressed.

    She is a bit over 300 years old and wants to see a smile on his face... this is NOT the reason she's stripping.. She IS in love with him...... alot... but he's just depressed...

    oh well... this was the short of it...

    If anyone has a tip or thought abot the colour in the pic I would be greatful.. I have'nt used colours much and I am very insecure regarding backgrounds..

    bla.. bla..

    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

    Download my Nintendo music remakes free on piratebay:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4546..._by___BitRobot

    vol.2:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4603..._by___BitRobot
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  5. #4
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    I changed some stuff... her head size and eye position.. his arm, face expression and light.. I also added more neon light.. the source as a neon sign is coming up behind him later..
    hope it's for the better...

    Maby I should have put this thread in the "work in progress" instead.. well well..
    keep critting though

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

    Download my Nintendo music remakes free on piratebay:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4546..._by___BitRobot

    vol.2:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4603..._by___BitRobot
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  6. #5
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    Her breasts are floating. Breasts don't float, even with a bra. And judging from her pin-sharp nipples which are pointing through a shirt that doesn't convince me it is that thin, she isn't wearing a bra.
    To add, her head looks like it's jutting-forward. it's MASSIVE. I don't see a huge difference from the first picture to the next. Her thong is not convincing either, to me it looks like a little ribbon wrapped around her legs. Her hair is plastic as well. There is no flow or movement. Heck, even if it meant frizzyness, I sure wouldn't want my hair like that. Its a city right? So there should maybe be a little breeze going on...her hair gently blowing or, if she is in a worried state, madly whirling in the direction of the wind!

    I am much happier with just the male figure in the piece. I think the girl is totally throwing things off with her poor anatomy and funny perspective. Does she have to have her finger in her thong? THINK. She looks worried, concerned...WHY is her finger in her thong???? My brain is like "This doesn't make sense." I wouldn't be whipping off my thong if I looked so concerned. If she's stripping, she'd be in a seducing pose, not frantically taking off her underwear because the world is about to get nuked or something.

    You have many things going for you in this piece, you just have to work them. Use reference for the girl!! Make sure the background is working with the focal points as well. You can do this! You really can. You just have to put a little more thought. This piece is lacking unity, that's all. The girl seems out of place with everything else to me.

    (OK she's missing her leg but...this gets her torso across i think)
    My RPG project..

    I think this pose would suit her much more...
    My RPG project..

    I know I may sound a little blunt and harsh, but those were the honest, probing questions in my brain. I hope that by exposing them it helps you think differently about the piece. I'm looking forward to an update.

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  7. #6
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    Hey. I saw your character heads on that other thread. Do you realize you're drawing your female in a much more comicy, distorted style?
    I find your male characters to be much more proportional.
    I'd recommend you actually draw both together on the same plane. You'll see that your females will look much shorter or, when you scale them up, like a caricature in oposite to the guys. Especially their heads are WAY huge in comparison.
    Just a hint. Try probably to get more uniform proportions.

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  8. #7
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    Thanx guys!!

    It's funny how blind one can be when making a piece.. I cant believe I did'nt
    see these things.. I have much of the story on my mind and forgetting the
    important stuff..

    Update coming soon with her replaced..

    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

    Download my Nintendo music remakes free on piratebay:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4546..._by___BitRobot

    vol.2:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4603..._by___BitRobot
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  9. #8
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    I used reference this time.. I think she's closer to what I want her to be now.. Theres something about her skin that i'm not sure of. Maby I'll have her left arm visual instead..

    Attached Images Attached Images  
    It's the sketchbook.. I don't get the html stuff
    http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=84000

    Download my Nintendo music remakes free on piratebay:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4546..._by___BitRobot

    vol.2:
    http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4603..._by___BitRobot
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  10. #9
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    Great improvement on your 2nd attempt of the anatomy but her arms are still too short; also where are her elbows? I can't tell where the arms bend.

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  11. #10
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    I agree with Glass wilderness, she doesn't have an elbow.

    Its a lot better than the previous attempt, but I'm not really liking the pose too much. It doesn't necessarily work, her body language doesn't show uncertainty here. Try something similar, but showing that she is uncertain. Try showing more confusion, showing that she really is shy and closed up about her feelings towards him.

    Hope this helps

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  12. #11
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    Maybe have her hand up buried in her hair, and alter the mouth a bit to be more expressive. Her eyes certainly do look worried, but it doesn't really convey into the rest of the piece, at least not for me.

    And there's just this disconnection between the two characters. It's like she's off in her own little world, and he's just standing back observing. Maybe flip her so she's looking more away from him? or... something to make the characters connect. Sorry I can't really tell you what you could do to fix that.

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  13. #12
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    Well, the second version is a lot better. However, with her pose, she looks like she is scratching her butt. Sorry but that is what it looks like to me. I suggest bringing her arm to the front. Have it resting on the rail or having it raised a little halfway (as if in protest) It would be a more dynamic posture that way. That is one of the risks with using reference...you have to be careful not to be in habit of copying references slavishly, but using it freely and making some changes to have it fit your picture.

    -Mike Cross


    Sculpting Thread|My Website| DeviantArt |My Blog
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