Crits needed
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  1. #1
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    Crits needed

    Okay finally got around to watching memoirs of a Geisha and it was beautiful and inspirational!
    Obviously its not finished but every now and then it feels really static so I'm hoping someone will have an idea to bring it to life. On another note what do you think of bringing the other hand up?

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    Her pose just is very static. Since it overall works, you could dive into a fantasy world behind her mirror and add things like butterflies or flowing petals to get some suggestion of movement. A lot of geisha's work was very symbolic, so you could definitely play around with that. But don't forget to add elements from her bedroom then as well.

    What could also 'break the pose', is if you'd show her other hand holding the white make up, but then you'd had to change her whole pose from under her neck, as it would also affect her shoulder.

    Watch her nose, it's not symmetrical, or something in the rendering suggests that.

    She's pretty and this looks neat.

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    Thanks Cookiedough, I decided that he pose was too static so brought her other hand up. I think the part about her nose is because she has some reflected light that doesn't translate well when resized this small but I'll have a look at it.
    And here's the updated look. I also added a mirror since a friend told me that she looked like she was about to beat someone up with her hand in a fist for no reason.

    OK, looked at the nose and there is deffinetly something off, thanks.

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    Nice art! The feel's somewhat there, although few decorations here and there wouldn't hurt. And not to talk about the details...D: Awesomeness.

    However, I noticed that the eyes...are now becoming weird. Now it looked like she's losing focus or daydreaming.

    Also, I think the mirror's kinda low (the position). Now it looks like she's holding the mirror to beat someone...in fact, with that hand and position, the very first image flashed across my mind seeing that hand was a knife. o_o as a suggestion, maybe you could go with a paper fan (the one that's held) instead? I think it'll look better, although it doesn't quite fit with the geisha image and the makeup scene....

    hope that'll help.. CMIIW!

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    Arshes Nei is offline Registered User Level 17 Gladiator: Spartacus' Dimachaeri
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    I think the neck is bothering me a lot, it's too straight, a neck does come out at an angle from the chest cavity, and while one can have a long elegant neck, this looks more like a pole rather than finding its place with the shoulders and chest cavity.

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    Ok update

    Well I tried changing the eyes to give te mirror some reason for existing but I'm not sure they seem a little off I cant seem to make them focus on the mirror. Any thoughts?
    Otherwise I added some details and fixed a few things. I tried to fix the neck but the position of the mirror and her arm make it look as though her neck just keeps narrowing instead f winging back out to join her shoulders. Redrew it and coloured it so I hope it looks a little better.
    Thanks for your help I think I'm about ready to wrap this one up.

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    Hello!

    Hello there! Nice piece, interesting...

    I was to start writing, but we do paint, yes? so why not do just that and show u what i really think...(there was another post of mine on the forum, i was pretty upset with the kind of crits i was receiving without showing facts, it pisses me off, need to learn to chill out more). So i will post you my crit, maybe its an improvement, maybe not, it just a test, i really like your piece now cause i love vibrant colors and thats whats bottering me about your piece, pretty rendered, composition ok (maybe to formal) , elegant, cool style, original but...dont know, just a feeling like "im taking tea" or something...

    Well, anyway, it was nice to put your work on photoshop, i used tone, saturation, that kind of stuff, hope i didnt ruin it...

    Thanks for sharing! I used to work on cosmetics so maybe thats my obsession with colors or something...dont know if its right to do this, but im posting anyway...

    See u around!

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    Maybe its to intense, but you catch the idea?

    Byee kailaan!

    T=ART, ...keep going to that special place, never surrender...
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