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Thread: Jim holding Dolphy

  1. #1
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    Jim holding Dolphy

    I got a critique on this at Deviantart and that person had no idae what they were talking about.
    What do you think?
    Last edited by Elwell; August 27th, 2008 at 03:27 PM.


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  3. #2
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    I am very confused about the perspective and the way the bodies are positioned, I can't tell if I'm looking at two characters sitting up in bed (though ones lower half floats off to the side) or two characters laying down in bed (though the headboard says differently) or perhaps one character sitting up, while the other lays very flat and stiffly and somehow overlaps her. I think work needs to be done on the female waist down and the male shoulders down to clarify just what is going on here.

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    You should be able to get some more hints of shape at the guys body through the blanket. He seems to just disappear after a ways. The blanket is rather taut for the length of it, but then rumples and folds at the side, appearing inconsistant with rationalization to how it appears. Considering how far down his body appears to sink, the woman's hips would need to be propped up on a stack of pillows to be that far up...I think that's something easily remedied with the identification of the perspective, like mentioned above.

    Your character style is very cute. The woman's expression is adorable. The man seems sullen or in pain, while she seems content. So it's just a little hard to read what's going on but overall it seems very sweet.

  5. #4
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    is this..... treasure planet? I think I recognize Jim in there.

    In any case, seems like you've actually got quite a ways to go with this image; it just doesn't look finished. Take more time in the planning stages of your image and don't be afraid to erase and redraw.
    Lake Hurwitz
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  6. #5
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    well it kinda looks like she is tackling him. With her bottom half twisted like that she has to be extremely flexible. I don't think anyone could sit like that for a long amount of time. Is the guy hurt? Sleeping? Either way, he is holding his head straight up(indicating health and alertness) and not leaning on her which would indicate fatigue. His body does kind of just disappear. That pillow is HUGE!!!! Its a good start, I feel you should have sketched more thumbnails before devoting so much time to this. Sometimes I try to get my body into positions before I draw them to see if they feel natural or not.

  7. #6
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    Hi, Dolphy. I've seen your stuff on dA, glad to see you posting some stuff here.

    My measly two cents: Jim's body and the sheet don't seem to match. I get that the girl is higher up the bed than he is, but there could be a clearer idea of Jim's lower body. And her lower body doesn't quite seem right. Like her torso should be a little straighter and her legs twisted a little counter so it looks like she's sitting. I can't get it out right.

    The composition is sweet overall, and the coloring is your usual great stuff, just the figures could be better posed is what I'm trying to say.
    "It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance, over brute force and cynicism." Craig Ferguson on Dr. Who
    sketchbook :: my dA gallery :: my art blog :: old sketchbook


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    I have to say I love your STYLE, but like everyone else, there are a few errors that may need to be addressed, also it would be nice to see a more understandable background, Not necessarily more detailed though...
    While I may not be much of an artist, I am more than happy to help with MATHEMATICS! I have over 3 years of tutoring experience, and would love to help you out with anything up to and including calculus Also, as a mechanical engineer, if you want feedback on realist sci-fi or other technical critique, let me know, I'm happy to help!

  9. #8
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    I think you just have perspective issues. It looks like the pillows have him propped up. Is he supposed to be propped up or did you want him lying flat on the bed? I think we need to know what you were trying to do.

    I don't necessarily agree with the critique you got on DeviantArt, though. Anatomy is ok and as far as your DA gallery, I don't see any major problems as far anatomy.

  10. #9
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    So, I was curious to see what kind of critique caused you to come over here, and looked up the comments on DA.

    Honestly, I don't think the person there said anything different than what you're hearing now. The anatomy is off and needs work, on both Jim and your self-insert. You could use more definition in the cloth, and the pillow is too large. The person on DA suggested you could use another look at the basics of anatomy, and they seem to be right. Since you're getting the same comments here, I would argue that the previous commenter did have some idea of what they were talking about, but maybe you just didn't want to hear it?

    If this was done in ball-point pen, then yes, you wouldn't be able to correct it on paper, but that's what Photoshop is for. You could always have fixed some of the anatomy issues that way.

    I've seen your stuff on DA, and your style is all right; your coloring and lighting is generally solid anyway. Not really to my taste, but you could do worse. I do think you could benefit from shaking things up a bit and doing less fanart (and the Dolphy/Jim OTP makes me a little O_o still), but hey, it's your art.

  11. #10
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    My anatomy is fine. Shows what you guys know. your Just as clueless as the people from deviantart.

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    ... or, perhaps, YOU'RE wrong? Just a thought .....

  13. #12
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    Fuck you. Do you know how many pageviews I have? Do you know how many people watch me? I am a legend. If you wanted to be helpful, you should have said it more politely.

  14. #13
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    Heh heh.

    Heh heh heh.
    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).

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