Jim holding Dolphy

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Thread: Jim holding Dolphy

  1. #1
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    Jim holding Dolphy

    I got a critique on this at Deviantart and that person had no idae what they were talking about.
    What do you think?

    Last edited by Elwell; August 27th, 2008 at 03:27 PM.
     


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  3. #2
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    I am very confused about the perspective and the way the bodies are positioned, I can't tell if I'm looking at two characters sitting up in bed (though ones lower half floats off to the side) or two characters laying down in bed (though the headboard says differently) or perhaps one character sitting up, while the other lays very flat and stiffly and somehow overlaps her. I think work needs to be done on the female waist down and the male shoulders down to clarify just what is going on here.

     

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    You should be able to get some more hints of shape at the guys body through the blanket. He seems to just disappear after a ways. The blanket is rather taut for the length of it, but then rumples and folds at the side, appearing inconsistant with rationalization to how it appears. Considering how far down his body appears to sink, the woman's hips would need to be propped up on a stack of pillows to be that far up...I think that's something easily remedied with the identification of the perspective, like mentioned above.

    Your character style is very cute. The woman's expression is adorable. The man seems sullen or in pain, while she seems content. So it's just a little hard to read what's going on but overall it seems very sweet.

     

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    is this..... treasure planet? I think I recognize Jim in there.

    In any case, seems like you've actually got quite a ways to go with this image; it just doesn't look finished. Take more time in the planning stages of your image and don't be afraid to erase and redraw.

    Lake Hurwitz
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    well it kinda looks like she is tackling him. With her bottom half twisted like that she has to be extremely flexible. I don't think anyone could sit like that for a long amount of time. Is the guy hurt? Sleeping? Either way, he is holding his head straight up(indicating health and alertness) and not leaning on her which would indicate fatigue. His body does kind of just disappear. That pillow is HUGE!!!! Its a good start, I feel you should have sketched more thumbnails before devoting so much time to this. Sometimes I try to get my body into positions before I draw them to see if they feel natural or not.

     

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    Hi, Dolphy. I've seen your stuff on dA, glad to see you posting some stuff here.

    My measly two cents: Jim's body and the sheet don't seem to match. I get that the girl is higher up the bed than he is, but there could be a clearer idea of Jim's lower body. And her lower body doesn't quite seem right. Like her torso should be a little straighter and her legs twisted a little counter so it looks like she's sitting. I can't get it out right.

    The composition is sweet overall, and the coloring is your usual great stuff, just the figures could be better posed is what I'm trying to say.

    "It's all about the triumph of intellect and romance, over brute force and cynicism." Craig Ferguson on Dr. Who
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    I have to say I love your STYLE, but like everyone else, there are a few errors that may need to be addressed, also it would be nice to see a more understandable background, Not necessarily more detailed though...

    While I may not be much of an artist, I am more than happy to help with MATHEMATICS! I have over 3 years of tutoring experience, and would love to help you out with anything up to and including calculus Also, as a mechanical engineer, if you want feedback on realist sci-fi or other technical critique, let me know, I'm happy to help!
     

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    I think you just have perspective issues. It looks like the pillows have him propped up. Is he supposed to be propped up or did you want him lying flat on the bed? I think we need to know what you were trying to do.

    I don't necessarily agree with the critique you got on DeviantArt, though. Anatomy is ok and as far as your DA gallery, I don't see any major problems as far anatomy.

     

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    So, I was curious to see what kind of critique caused you to come over here, and looked up the comments on DA.

    Honestly, I don't think the person there said anything different than what you're hearing now. The anatomy is off and needs work, on both Jim and your self-insert. You could use more definition in the cloth, and the pillow is too large. The person on DA suggested you could use another look at the basics of anatomy, and they seem to be right. Since you're getting the same comments here, I would argue that the previous commenter did have some idea of what they were talking about, but maybe you just didn't want to hear it?

    If this was done in ball-point pen, then yes, you wouldn't be able to correct it on paper, but that's what Photoshop is for. You could always have fixed some of the anatomy issues that way.

    I've seen your stuff on DA, and your style is all right; your coloring and lighting is generally solid anyway. Not really to my taste, but you could do worse. I do think you could benefit from shaking things up a bit and doing less fanart (and the Dolphy/Jim OTP makes me a little O_o still), but hey, it's your art.

     

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    My anatomy is fine. Shows what you guys know. your Just as clueless as the people from deviantart.

     

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    ... or, perhaps, YOU'RE wrong? Just a thought .....

     

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    Fuck you. Do you know how many pageviews I have? Do you know how many people watch me? I am a legend. If you wanted to be helpful, you should have said it more politely.

     

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    Heh heh.

    Heh heh heh.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
     

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  16. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolphy View Post
    My anatomy is fine. Shows what you guys know. your Just as clueless as the people from deviantart.
    HAHA, OH WOW

     

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    If you wanted to be helpful, you should have said it more politely.
    Looking over your work on DA, it seems that you responded very similarly to much of the same criticism for this piece.

    However, if simply pointing anatomy issues seem impolite, then perhaps the only polite comments constitute praise.


    I am a legend.
    http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Dolphy


    In the same way that Snapesnogger and Chasethehedgehog are?

    Awesome.

    Last edited by Spiralfish; August 27th, 2008 at 10:51 AM.
     

  18. #16
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    You only wish you had as many pageviews as me.

     

  19. #17
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    Why? Can you redeem them for valuable cash and prizes?

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
     

  20. #18
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    If that really is the real Dolphy posting then I will be somewhat surprised.

    My guess is troll.

    I watch Dolphy on Deviantart and though it is possible that i have got the wrong end of the stick, that picture was posted on DA on the 5th of May, why wait for now for crits.

    Last edited by kovah; August 27th, 2008 at 10:00 AM.
     

  21. #19
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    On deviantart, people fave what they enjoy. The Anime/anthro/fan stuff is really, really popular over there whether its good or not. This board is made up more so of professionals not anime kids and fanboys. You're painting skills are rather good, and you have carved out a lucrative niche in deviantart and I am sure you would clean house at conventions. But you're anatomy in this piece is off. Don't ask peoples opinion in a very volatile forum and then get mad when you are shot down. You are not your art. Don't take it personally. Generally, if 8 different people say the same thing, independantly of one another, it might be true. Good luck.

     

  22. #20
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    You can, Stoat, of course! If you get enough pageviews, you get to be a professional illustrator, and the worlds knowledge over art, and supreme reigning over all who wield the almighty pencil! It comes in one big package delivered at your doorstep, with a unique only-thousand-made golden pencil.

    Yeah, anatomy. Can't say much else than that. It looks like he had an accident though.. But at least his face, shoulders and upper part of his torso are still intact. Sarcasm aside, it would have looked better if you'd show his body underneath the blanket. Also her (or yours?) chest is a bit crooked and contorted, you may want to check if the perspective and foreshortening on it is right. Also, Jim has highlighted hair in the left, is there a lightsource there that's as bright as the one on the right?

     

  23. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dolphy View Post
    Fuck you. Do you know how many pageviews I have? Do you know how many people watch me? I am a legend. If you wanted to be helpful, you should have said it more politely.
    you just made my day, buddy

    In the future, everyone will have 15 minutes of privacy.

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  24. #22
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    The number of pageviews you have is independent of your skill level.

    Your anatomy needs improvement.

    Much of the criticism you have received address these issues. At the risk of rehashing some of these issues, I'd also like to add the following:

    1. Much of the anatomy is surface... in the boy's neck, the forms and shadows that you painted dont emphasize or even coincide with the anatomy of the muscel forms of the neck... it seems like you just put marks there and shaded them...

    2. The sense of ground plane is missing, and boy looks like he is embedded in the mattress of the bed, formlessly melding into it. Like your other image in the Finally Finished Forum, the placement and perspective of the surface needs to be better considered.

    3. The boy's head is not shaped like a modern human skull. His jaw line is pulled way back, reminiscent of the neanderthal skull. Further compounding this problem is his (and her) small forehead.

    4. The clothing, sheets needs to be better considered, period... both in terms of it's sense of material and the directional flow and the way it folds around forms.



    Do you want a redline?

    Last edited by Spiralfish; August 27th, 2008 at 10:27 AM.
     

  25. #23
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    keep it civil please.
    Im inches from closing this thread

    if Dolphy's answer to spiralfishes thoguhtful comments is rude or dismissive I will do so.

    To see the world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.

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  26. #24
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    Im seriously crying right now. you guys have no idea what its like to draw something from your heart. I love Jim so much and you guys just shut down this image as though my love for him means nothing! fuck you all!

     

  27. #25
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    Is Jim the male? If so, shouldn't the title be 'Dolphy holding Jim', not the other way around? (Or possibly 'Jim-holding Dolphy')

    Your last comment now has me convinced that you're a troll.

    Last edited by Bob Todd; August 27th, 2008 at 11:38 AM. Reason: grammar
    If your only goal is to be as good as Scroobius Pip, then as soon as you achieve that your standards'll slip.
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  28. #26
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    as though my love for him means nothing!
    and.... Jim is a cartoon character....

    Last edited by Spiralfish; August 27th, 2008 at 12:16 PM.
     

  29. #27
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    So what? I can still love a cartoon character. You have no idea how hard it is to love someone so much who can't love you back.

     

  30. #28
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    It actually isn't a troll. I've viewed her reactions and things on her Deviantart, and I think it really is her.

     

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  32. #29
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    Hey "Dolphy", here`s the real Dolphy speaking, seriously, did you think noone would notice that you are not me?

    People, this is NOT the real Dolphy, sorry that she`s making me seem so bad here. -___-

     

  33. #30
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    I thought so. A mod will be taking care of it shortly, I'm sure.

     

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