In dire need of artistic aid :)

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  1. #1
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    In dire need of artistic aid :)

    I know I am far from any level of prefessionalism, so yeah, feel free to laugh .
    Here she is, at still early stages of work, but I can sense something is awfully wrong in the composition. Perhaps the foliage is too noisy? Can't quite put my finger on it.
    (I'll try to improve my anatomy knowledge as we, for I know it is shaky )
    In dire need of artistic aid :)

    Thank you for the insight.

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
    My Ramblings
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  3. #2
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    The bushes are a bit distracting, but the tree is confusing me, how far away is it? is it far back or is it close but just small?

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  4. #3
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    Yeah, I think painting the foliage in a totally different style than the rest of the pic, is not such a good idea. I'd like to see the rest of it painted in that same style though... That would create a really nice mood. And the anatomy really isn't bad at all, just the head needs some work. Good start though. Peace

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  5. #4
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    I think you're main problem is the head. It's too wedge shaped (narrower forhead) and the eyes should be closer together. Also the left hand looks a bit strange. Twisted to much maybe. As for the shrubs, try adding a bit more of the golden highlights to the ones in the rear, nearest the girl. Like the onces in front only not quite as much.

    Art gives me a life of extreme challenge, frustration, accomplishment and contentment. Nothing less will do!
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  6. #5
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    Talking Thank you :)

    I now see the problem with the head. It is going to be painted over because she must have a very specific face so I haven't given it a lot of thought yet, but will keep in mind the shape thing. (

    Grinn: You are right, it is confusing.The tree shall grow. . Thanks.

    Phuzion: Thank you. I was thinking to "sponge" the bushes with one of the the painter 8 sponges in the end, but i'll try to make the rest work with it instead. ( even though I am not exactly sure how to go about doing that yet ) ( by the way, great works man, I'm practically a fan )

    Nikia: Indeed you are right, the head. I'll paint it over. And will seek some anatomical reference for the arms. Bush highlights will also be a good adition. Thank you.

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
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  7. #6
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    I hope you dont mind me doing a quick paintover I just wanted to suggest that the skin looked too flat and with a little work and stronger highlights/shadows you could bring out her form a little more...hope it helps a bit!

    In dire need of artistic aid :)

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  8. #7
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    In dire need of artistic aid :)
    I've also taken the liberty of revising psionic's paintover! I've deliberately overemphasised it a bit, but what I've done is to select her and the tree on the right top, and increase their saturation and contrast a little, which has has the effect of "warming" them both up a bit. The "aerial perspective" with decreased contrast and bluing of the scenery, esp shadows is done well in the background, but she is also painted in a pretty cold palette, which has the effect of really pushing her backward and making the painting look rather flat. I think that my changes have the effect of pulling her forward, and also give an impression that she's perhaps more alluring, and less forbidding (though I realise you may want her to have a more "I want to be alone" air about her!) I also similarly pulled the righthand tree forward a bit to give the impression that its closer to her than it is to the landscape

    Dave

    Last edited by dcorc; November 9th, 2003 at 09:53 PM.
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  9. #8
    dogfood Guest
    I think that there have been a lot of good replies and I take that as a sign that people are interested in this piece, as I am. It has a wonderful feeling about it.

    As someone working on anantomy, the thing that bothers me is her pose. She should be falling over. My advice is to sit the way she is sitting and try to feel out the way everything falls. How do your arms relate to your shoulders (and on and on...).

    She also happens to be bisecting the frame. This is a bit of a tough thing to sell without some powerful compositional aid. Objects lend weight to whichever side they happen to be on, so with the non-symmetrical background (especially the aforementioned tree), she has some work to do. This can be solved with a more dramatic pose or camera position. In fact, I would highly recommend a bit more of both.

    Of course, not knowing the work's intention, it's hard to go much further. Let me know if this is totally uselss advice or if you have any questions. I'm certain I have the same ones.

    Once again, I like this piece and would love to see you advance it.

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  10. #9
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    Thank you for the interest

    Here she is, about 5 hours from completion. ( .. left it untouched for a couple of days)

    Psionic: Of course don't mind the paintover, thank you. I realise what you ment by the highlights, and there were going to be there, only I had in mind a slightly different lighting setup.

    dcorc: I also see your point, thank you. Proper color vaules will be there in the final picture.

    dogfood: Thank you. Indeed the pose was stressed. I tweaked it a bit, also added missing composition elements. In the next four hours I'll be adding details where details are due, finish the unfinished parts, "uncut" the trunk of the tree on the left (so that the eye of the viewer wont "escape" from the pic there),mess with the foliage and add some more reflected light (pehaps even cool shadows from the trees above.)

    In dire need of artistic aid :)

    Thank you everybody, this has been very helpful.

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
    My Ramblings
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  11. #10
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    Here she is

    Okay, this is the finished version. The pose is half awkard(?) but I prefer doing a few new (and correct) pictures then forever beeing stuck on a faulty one.

    Opinions ?

    In dire need of artistic aid :)

    And a zoom in

    In dire need of artistic aid :)

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
    My Ramblings
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  12. #11
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    It's come a long way, and the work you put into it is very apparent. Believe it or not, I actually think the pose works very nicely for the scene. Very nice and serene. The dove was a nice touch as well.

    The only thing I'd do is maybe put a bit more detail into the foliage around her feet. The plant life in the background has a nice texture, but what's in the foreground looks a little blurry, especially contrasted against the really nice detail of her legs. While this is a working contrast, it really makes the front of the picture feel unfinished.

    But I must say, great work.

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  13. #12
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    lavhoes: Thank you. Added a bit of detail of the front "shruberry"

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
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  14. #13
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    hey oddo,
    the difference between the first and last pics is so strong!! the last one is a great work...

    I'm a manky artist, don't mess with me
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  15. #14
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    By the way, it's 2003, not 2004. Check your copyright!

    *imzadione*
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  16. #15
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    Originally posted by Oddo
    lavhoes: Thank you. Added a bit of detail of the front "shruberry"
    Ooh, very nice.

    In dire need of artistic aid :)

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  17. #16
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    Man that turned out great:thumbsup:

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  18. #17
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    Talking

    Forge: Thank you. It is the difference between a sketch and a "worked" picture .

    imzadione: Heh, true. I'm ahead of my time, and there's the proof . ( Changed the date is 2003 now. Thank you)

    lavhoes: Thank you.

    Romus: Thank you.

    I'm not really very very happy with it, but then again, as someone online says: "You never trully finish a picture, you just decide when to stop".

    Will appreciate critique anywhere, anytime .
    My Ramblings
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