It's all in the name
I want to thank slash for all the good input he gave me already for this one.
I imagined it wasn't ff ready yet, so I put it up here for some extra crits.
thanks in advance,
This is an interesting piece, I like the style. I can sense an influence from Dan Dociu. If I'm wrong, please tell me
I'd like to see a bit more texture/detail in some of the brushstrokes to get a bit more variety, and some denotation of mechanical details on the surface. I might even crop the piece so we can't see the whole station.
I'm not sure what the scale is, perhaps some design elements could clarify.
A bit more variation in value throughout the whole piece could make it stronger.
Also, the space station is very vertically aligned. Perhaps this is what you're going for, but I'd argue that there is no "up" or "down" on a space-station and a diagonal composition might work better.
Just my thoughts
hey radio24, I actually had to look up Dan Dociu since I had never heard of him. Great artist! So thank you for mentioning him, you can be certain he will be an inspiration and influence for me from this day on
I made some adjustments after your crits and here is the progress, hope it improved
i think that a bit of an ellipse on the bottom half of the station might push the "3d-ness" of it
personally im not a fan of the blue red background
i think blue on the bottom half and a sort of black on the top might push the believability of it actually being in space or very high in the atmosphere
take a look at a few of these
composition could also use help i think. the station framed smack dab in the image is a bit boring. i think a more zoomed out shot of it showing other activity with space craft flying around would help it look more interesting
Myabe add some detail to the lit up parts or some lights / windows /portals?
yeah I think the station could definitely use more perspective to add some depth and volume to the piece. Unless it's taken with a super long lens or a telescope which would make it almost orthographic like you did. But in that case I think it would be cool to make the moon in the background much bigger, could even be a large backdrop for the picture. And by the way, even if it's almost isometric because of the lens, you could still tilt the station a little bit.
In the latest update, be careful with the overlapping of the station and the spaceship. Right now the part where they overlap is almost a tangent and it creates a lot of tension in that zone, and also flattens the image. I think it would be cool either to detach the ship, or to move it further to the left.
I really like the flat brushes treatment and colors. The palette works nicely.I'm not that fond of the saturated blue space but that's just personal. It still works. Maybe you could add some tiny lights in the station to add some interest and help sell the scale.
I think a larger canvas might be appropriate. It seems very very confined currently. A larger plane will give it more of an expansive feel to it.
That will solve the closeness of the ship also.
I'd also darken up the background and lighten the station, dark will give more space feely to it and definitely deepen the image.
Cheers! Looks great so far!
The perspective still needs to be pushed. Effectively the station is a cylindrical shape with the middle section carved out, correct? Get a cylindrical object, even a glass or vase or something, and get close to it, putting your eye level at around the middle. Do some looking, maybe some drawing. You'll notice the top and bottom become more curved as they get farther from your eye level/horizon. With a huge structure like a space station and being so far away from it, there's no way you would see the kind of even flat shapes you have here. Hope you can make sense of what I've said. It's a good piece and improving pretty steadily I think, address your perspective issue and it will be that much stronger.
hey aedman, I am a bit confused right now. My theory behind the more flat shapes was that because of the distance you actually make the horizon line more wide and therefor the lines less strong, to say:
a cube from close-by
a cube far away
shouldn't with the angles of the square becoming less and less strong, the curves of a cylinder become less strong aswell, making it "flatter" ? Or am I really off right now?
Sorry about that, yeah, I didn't think about what I was saying in regards to distance. The issue with the space station is that it's huge, and so stretches far in both directions from the horizon line. Like in your examples, the angles (or in this case curves) get more dramatic as they increase in distance from the horizon line. Good call on my error though, hope this clears that up.
edit: the basic point of what I'm saying with all this, is that it needs at least some degree of curvature on the ends, if it's a basically cylindrical structure. You can figure out what works in terms of degree of curvature for the sake of this piece.
nice update - like the spaceship and planet you added in. Maybe just play around with the moon's position - currently its making a large circle silhouette and encloses the space station maybe offset it to the left more? A whole planet edge on the right side could work too.
Great colour usage - the ship and planets colours combine quite nicely. Watch out for the bottom tip of the spacestation - looks to be dissapearing into the planet. (sorry for my sucky spelling)