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Just finished these three pieces up for a particular project, my first real attempt at doing something for someone else . I Hope you like them.
Ricky Casdorph - racasdorph
I'd have to say you're a man's man for doing two horizontal compositions within the same time span .
I have to say that you're not doing so well on your edge control. It seems really sharp in some places and really unintentionally soft in others. You're rendering with a lot of really scratchy lines, creating a strange texture for the whole image but not really describing the form to the best of extents. Your alien's anatomy seems really outlandish and not functional in the way that we perceive anatomy to be made up of. I'm not saying you have to make humans all day long, but he seems to have two forearms coming from the same elbow or something weird going on. He isn't really well described- the best way of saying that?
Thank you for the critique Quigleyer, yeah, I wish I could figure out when to make edges sharp and when to soften them up. I guess ill have to just keep practicing!
I rather like the first image, but it's not really clear right now whether the woman is touching a Monolith filled with stars (ala 2001) or standing in front of a doorway into outer space (ala Zathura.)
Maybe if you lighten up the values on the near side, or do something to edges to give a more box-like quality. Check out how it works in this image
Last edited by Jasonwclark; July 24th, 2008 at 04:55 AM.
You know, those first two images do a great job of story telling.
The colors and brushstrokes are just not doing it enough justice I think. I'm no whiz with color or anything so i won't say much about that... but as far as the brush strokes.. I really think you need some larger brushes overall in your piece. there's alot of chicken scratch and these thin little lines that don't really do anything. There's not enough vaue or color in them to do any good,a nd they don't help establish the planes of each object.
Maybe try to think more of what the piece NEEDS, rather than what extra stuff you can add to it. I honestly think without alot of those hapharzadly placed brushtrokes and custom brushes for the grass and other razmataz that your intentions would come across alot stronger.
maybe try a couple 2 / 3 hour paintings just using a normal round brush.. paint it all by hand... then i think you'll see that you're more than capable of doing the jobs you're giving to these chicken scratches and needless custom brushes.
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Above posters have given some good critiques.
I would like to say that I enjoy the first 2 two pieces. I think you're onto something with the lighting, even though there are some technical faults, I can still get a good feel for the mood and atmosphere which is quite nice.
Keep working on it.
Racas', I'm going to go for the major probs only...because they're hurting you badly.
1. The Monolith--How long will she have to stand there holding it up? I know she's holding it up and not touching it in wonder because it's leaning. Why is it leaning? There doesn't seem to be any logical reason, so it unnerves your viewer. Don't the critters that built it have building inspectors?
Small question on the shadow...I don't dislike it because I'm willing to accept it in a surreal sense, but I'm wondering where it's coming from. The monolith seems so massive and light-ABSORBING that it doesn't seem to be the obvious source.
2. Your telling a rather good story here...so...
Why is the guy fighting like hell to get the ax unstuck when it's not actually stuck in the tree stump? There's not even a split mark. And where's the wood that should be around him, because the only reason you have an ax in a stump is to chop firewood.
You went for a wide view that could benefit from cropping on the right, but let's not get excited about that. You have a tangent that's really distracting--the point where the guy's right shoulder exactly lines up with the edge of the roof. It causes some major depth confusion. If this is digital, I'd move the guy a bit to our right, making him dangerously closer to the creature and increasing the tension at the same time. If it's oils/acrylic, I'd lengthen the roof to the left a bit so it is clearly not part of his body flow.
3. You got a bit sloppy here with perspective and tangents, and it's causing some probs...
Y'got this neat gun blasting something to hell and back...and right where we look to see the beam and start to follow it to the target, there's a very obvious vertical post on the porch in the background. This is a major distraction to the viewer because we're not sure which "line" to follow at first..
There's actually nothing here from the viewpoint of us folk out here that should cause a major perspective problem, but you have at least two major ones. The building gradually begins to lean to the right, and it's really annoying because of the closeness of the door frame to the edge of the art. The other one is the car--it's well to the foreground and almost off the page, but it looks more important than it is because it appears to be too small measured against the house in the background. If I had my druthers, I'd say dump the sucker and put something more appropriate to that kind of "homestead" there.
No position or belief, whether religious, political or social, is valid if one has to lie to support it.--Alj Mary
Ironically, the concept of SIMPLICITY is most often misunderstood by simple-minded people. --Alj Mary
Ilaekae: Wow thank you so much for the indepth critique! after looking at everything you said... you are completely right! Ill see if I can not fix up these three images even though they are *done* and sent to someone else haha!
Thanks to everyone else for the crits! I really love CA!