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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Fairfax, Virginia, United States
    Thanked 36 Times in 19 Posts

    WIP full color independent animation.

    Been working on this the last few months. I just recently commissioned someone to do the music for it so I'm fired up to finish it double time. I am though trying to find a way to eliminate the mom. I think having her full form is taking away from the concept of the piece. Might just use the hand but suggestions and any crit for this animation would be much loved. The current music is just a stand in till the new original music comes in.

    Animation is done via Photoshop > Monkey Jam > Windows Movie Maker

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Thanked 22 Times in 10 Posts

    I like the style of it. The painterly style really fits the whimsical mood of the story.
    The story's cute, characters are likeable and well designed. I read the story on acting alone, and that's always impressive. Every shot is well planned, it feels like you spent some time on storyboarding.

    About the only thing I'd edit is, I think we linger on the shoe a touch longer than necessary. There's a few frames after the motion of the tripping where the shoe no longer moves. It gives the impression he caught himself before tripping or was otherwise interrupted.

    Also, secondary animation could've really improved this piece.
    Although most of the motions are subtle, and most of the action oriented scenes (running scenes) are depicted at a distance where such touches wouldn't matter - there was two scenes where the lack of secondary animation really stood out: the medium-shot of the boy coaxing the girl into starting to run (1:54) and the scene when the boy was holding the girl's hand and running with the anime-esque streaky background (1:59). In both these scenes we have alot of motion, and it seems strange the girl's dress/flower antenna/hair and boy's hair/clothes seems static.
    Last edited by Zilant; July 22nd, 2008 at 03:51 PM.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Thanked 29 Times in 23 Posts

    I like the animation

    Quote Originally Posted by Tea Drinker
    I am though trying to find a way to eliminate the mom.(...)Might just use the hand
    Don't use the hand to me the arm feels aggressive as it comes out of nowhere just lashing down on the boy (as a viewer I don´t know it's his mum)

    I think it would be much better if you eliminated the arm and...

    when he's sitting looking sad instead of the arm sequence have him look up and put a smile on his face (cause he sees his mother which will set me up as viewer that something good is happening) then cut to where he leaps up. and put a smile on on the mothers face too when she sees the butterfly that would also make for a better "contrast" when she looks eh "surprised" when he pulls her away" and you might possibly want to have her head follow the butterfly just a bit earlier.

    If you do want to take away the mum altogether I would suggest you to... when he's sitting down sad instead of having him jump up...have him slowly opening his hands..have him smile and then let the butterfly come out of his hand and cut to about 2:23 where the butterfly flies away..make the butterfly fly in the direction to the plant to give a reason to why he's going that direction. Then have the butterfly fly a little around the plant and away into the "sunset" so to speak and him going back to the camp place.

    anyway that all the suggestion I can think of..hope it gave some input and new thoughts. It going to be fun to see where you take it most of the time we already know
    My sketchbook flawed to the max page 5
    Ps:Hope you understand my English.
    Remember my advices taste best with a grain of salt.

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