Flying over a floor of clouds: I need your C&C!!

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  1. #1
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    Flying over a floor of clouds: I need your C&C!!

    Hey everyone,

    I need your help in approving and fixing incorrections before I go further. I hope the sketches are understandable and I did a quick copy paste concept of kind a clouds background I want to draw. So how is it composition wise and is the figure and perspective alright?

    Older sketches people replied at, see post #9

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    Last edited by Whitevillage; August 3rd, 2008 at 08:22 AM.
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  3. #2
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    I realize you're going for a deliberately huge butt, but make sure that it's symmetrical. At the moment, her right cheek is threatening to break loose and rampage through downtown Tokyo, while the left one is merely huge.

    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  4. #3
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    Hello
    I liked her slightly pointing down better like you had in your original sketch and what Stoat said.

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  5. #4
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    Hello there.

    good pin-up. it has a sort of playfulness to it with enough fan service without being too graphic. Concept is solid. I would watch her arm coming backwards to grab the broomstick to me that would be very uncomfortable and how the body works it would actually twist her back more toward us. if its not too important I would just have her reaching forward tot he front of the broomstick rather than behind. There are other anatomical corrections needed but since this a rough sketch I will assume those will be fixed before proceeding. Just keep in mind size comparison between thighs, calves, and feet.

    Happy hunting.

    "Please sit down, stay awhile" My current threads:

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  7. #5
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    Stoat: You're certainly right about the butt thing, I just got a bit carried away it seems haha. I fixed it immediately, I think it looks more balanced now.

    MnM: I don't know exactly what I want either really. But I think it's going to be the new composition or from the orginal sketch.

    Pesmerga_2501: Hello, thanks for the indepth critique. The right arm is certainly an obstacle of the drawing if it was right or accepted, I wanted to give it more of a naughty expression. I changed it by the way because of too much struggling with it. I slightly redid the lower legs a bit.

    Here's the current version:

    Name:  broomsketchrough_01.jpg
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  8. #6
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    It's a tricky thing about butts. Sometimes they seem like part of the torso and sometimes they seem like part of the leg. Took me the longest time to figure out that's why I wasn't working out proportions right.

    What's happening in yours is that right buttock has slid down and become part of the upper leg, making it substantially too long. It needs to end clearly at the same level as the other buttcheek.

    Also, exaggerated anatomy is fine, but it needs to be internally consistent. You need to feel a skeleton under there. You've got your anatomy kind of wadded up and compressed, so her boobs look saggy and her head is sort of drawn in.

    Hope you don't mind, I drawed you a picture.

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    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
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  10. #7
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    Thanks Stoat for the paintover and explanations! I tried to follow your advice with the anatomy as well, her body is a bit stretched out like in your redline and her buttcheeks has been made a tad smaller. She has also now a neck. I'm not sure about her breast, it sticks out too much from that angle I guess.

    On the first paintover explanation: the extension at the bottom blue hook, ain't supposed to be her right cheek. It's part of the leg that begins at the bottom and ends at the back of the knee. It's however still wrong from my side so I'm not surprised by the confusing. Just to make clear.

    Here's the new version. I also detailed a little too much around...

    Name:  broomsketchrough_02.jpg
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  11. #8
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    Alright, here's the lineart which is not ready for I have to clean some parts up. Just like to know about the image itself and her left butt: I can't find a good anatomical/photo reference of that leg in the same pose. I'm aiming for a thick butt but nothing too steroid like either.

    Name:  broomlineart01.jpg
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  12. #9
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    Updated with colour, cape gets redone as well her legs. Any tips and crits are welcome.

    Also enclosed the older sketches from the opening post.

    Name:  broomcolour01.jpg
Views: 208
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    Name:  broomcloseup01.jpg
Views: 211
Size:  36.4 KB

    Name:  attachment_01.jpg
Views: 212
Size:  42.9 KB

    Name:  attachment_02.jpg
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Size:  98.6 KB

    Name:  attachment_03.jpg
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  13. #10
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    I'm now adding colour and shades at the character to paint over it, although I like the cell shading as well...

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  14. #11
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    Whoah! The thumb! :o
    My thumb doesn't bend that way. Maybe it's just me? It just looks like it's been REALLY bent backwards D:
    Haha, I like the blue jet stream :]


    ~*~*~ ferro, ferre, tuli, latus ~*~*~
    ~*~*~ latin rocks my socks ~*~*~
    ~*~*~ pardon my English please if I say something grammatically incorrect ~*~*~

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  15. #12
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    Seconded on the thumb.

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  16. #13
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    I fixed the thumb problem earlier, thank you guys for pointing this out anyway. Moving my thumb that way works fine for me, altough it's almost out of it's socket. This illustration is finished and can be seen in my sketchbook: Link

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