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  1. #1
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    Off The Path (Senior degree film)

    Hello there! It's been quite a while since I've really been on here, and haven't just been lurking around drooling at all the lovely art. I just got my senior degree project finished from the animation department at massart, and finally got it up on youtube.

    ">" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350">


    The audio is clips of my relatives, who did not know what I would do with their voices in the end. It was done in flash, with scanned watercolor backgrounds.

    I hope to have a few more video's up soon. Comments and crits welcome. Thanks for looking!


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  3. #2
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    Critiquing this sans-sound, because that's how my workplace is.

    As a stylistic choice, I like the water color.
    Love the worm's eye view for the bear (1:12), it really helps present the figure as massive. The squash n' stretch as the bear is sitting down (1:09) is also quite lovely.
    I like how the speaker and extras are separated obviously in each scene. whether it's a matter of design (the only bird with the glasses is the speaker), or nature of the expression; the speaker having a range of expressions with the base expression being one that's half-lidded vs. the wide-eyed vapid stares of the extra characters in the alligator/wildebeest, bear/fish, whale/dolphin scenes.

    Two groups of birds on the telephone wire sliding together because an oddball bird was hanging upside down between them, instantly reminded me of Pixar's For the Birds short. Now, I'm not really saying it's too close for comfort, but I am saying I was reminded of it and other people might be too.
    The whale has a background at :47, and after the shot of dolphins jumping, we return to the whale without one. The background was good because it oriented us. It's loss is unfortunate, because it's lost in the same scene a camera is panning from a view of the whale's underside to a view of the whale's side. Without any background to orient us, we can't tell if it's us moving, or if it's the whale is spinning in the void. We sort of lose the background just when we need it most.

    Anyhow, any series of monologues that manages to entertain me with the sound off is considered a success in my book. Keep up the good work.
    Last edited by Zilant; June 17th, 2008 at 11:30 AM.

  4. #3
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    I was also reminded of Pixar but also Aardman

    No splashes for the dolphins?

    The bear and wildebeests are freaking hilarious! The design of the croc is very good too.

    My favourite is the senior bird. A few things I would've liked to see tweaked here and there with the timming but overall, lovely!

  5. #4
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    charming - definitely reminded me of Aardman- good luck

  6. #5
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    I really liked it, very cute and I never got bored with it.

    I was reminded of the for the birds clip as well

  7. #6
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    I like it. Nothing too flashy or over the top, nicely down to earth and all

    Nothing much too critique on actually. The animation could be a little less jumpy here and there, but I know from my own experience that can take a long of time to get right Another thing though, English is my second language and the voice overs are mumbling a bit here and there (fits the style and 'story') but I can't always understand what is being said.

    Anyway, awesome work

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    Thanks for the comments and crits guys. I'm glad you like the film!
    I agree with the crits, and I'm going to work on hashing some of the issues out in my next movie. I figure I'll let this one rest, and just take the crits and apply them in the future. It's much appreciated though, as I am always looking for input and suggestions.

    It's funny about the pixar movie, is that I didn't even think of it until way after that scene was done, and someone mentioned it. One of those things where your really far into a project, and it takes another person to catch it.

    Thanks again, I hope to have more work up soon.

  10. #9
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    Hey, great piece! Love the characters' movements (the whale and the bear especially); nice squashing and stretching, really just added to the character's personalities. The voicework is top-notch as well (looove the pigeon's and the whale's voice) and they fit together wonderfully with the designs. This has to be some of the cleanest flash work I've seen as well, I had to watch through again after I realized the background was watercolor hehe.

    Uhh crit wise I really can't see much. To be veeeeerrrry nitpicky when they show the ladies legs, the still before the pigeon walks out from behind is a bit too still in my opinion. The slight shakiness of the entire piece and the fact that she was shaking a little bit right before that scene seemed a little odd. Again, that's really nit picking; the still itself works great and the pigeon interacts with it great as well.

    You went to Massart? I'm at AIB right down the road Must say this is one of the best senior shorts I've seen done (comparing them with the work I've seen to AIB as well). You should submit this to Ottawa, has a great look and feel that I think would work well there. Again beautiful work and great job!

  11. #10
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    I think my favorite part was how you animated the wildebeests just
    ..lol toppling into the water like idiots.

    Well done. :]

  12. #11
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    That's very nicely done. A lot of patience and skill to draw all of those frames. Skills.

  13. #12
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    Hahha, man, reminds me of the old school cartoons I used to watch on PBS. As already said, very down to earth and the watercolor was great. Only thing that really bothered me was the dolphins with no splash -wildebeest gets splash o.0

    This also reminded me Aardman, hehe, good stuff.

  14. #13
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    there's a similar thing i've seen around the internet, but with claymation (i believe it's the same people who did wallace and gromit). people comment about life but then are animated into animals. that's what i immediately thought of.

    i loved it though! when the bear's eyes bug out, when the bird talks about loneliness.

    one bit of critique though, is that there was awkward silence when you switched from one audio to another (between clips) so maybe if you had the music softly playing in the background the entire time? or something like that. bravo!

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