A 12 page comic of mine. New 5 page comic added.
 
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  1. #1
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    A 12 page comic of mine. New 5 page comic added.

    Hi everyone,

    Here is a story that I finished recently for my webcomic, it was a bit of an experiment as I wanted to see how dark and gloomy I could go but still have a legible page. I actually wanted to go darker and gloomier in places but I stopped myself!

    If anyone wants to give me critique that'd be great.

    Hope you enjoy.

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    Last edited by BMB; June 4th, 2008 at 11:20 PM.
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  3. #2
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    ok 3 things

    1. layout needs work too many panels on some page try limit yourself to 4-5 panels per page, stops you doing unnecessary panels or over cluttering the page obviously there are exceptions for set ups etc

    also the rendering nice on the first few pages gets sloppy towards the end its hard for the eye to read the images

    2. page 3 think you can cut the three panels on the top frees the page up more
    page 5 move the last panel to the next page lose the panel before that

    so you end with the panel where bad guy grabs gun then next page the payout bam she kicks him the nuts

    you need to establish where the punch in the next panel comes from

    lose the bit with the guy unzipping his pants...

    maybe after she shoots the first bad guy she heres a sound turns around and sees a bunch of angry guys running towards her she flees

    the next few pages well done,

    3. watch the image of the character she seems off model in a few pics.

    love the idea, some nice things here

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  4. #3
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    I find it hard to discern the panels too. Try less black and more white. Make the images cleaner and define the points of interest more.

    "Creativity emerges only when the imagination is given the freedom it deserves."
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  5. #4
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    Thanks heaps for the advice, it's great to hear other peoples POV.

    Hear is another fairly recent comic of mine, this is probably closer to my standard art style (Although, having said that, I'm about 15 pages ahead of what I upload to the webcomic at the moment and my style/method has changed a bit again. But I can't show that in case a reader of mine happens across this and gets an 8 week in advance spoiler! ):

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