Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    A 12 page comic of mine. New 5 page comic added.

    Hi everyone,

    Here is a story that I finished recently for my webcomic, it was a bit of an experiment as I wanted to see how dark and gloomy I could go but still have a legible page. I actually wanted to go darker and gloomier in places but I stopped myself!

    If anyone wants to give me critique that'd be great.

    Hope you enjoy.
    Last edited by BMB; June 4th, 2008 at 10:20 PM.

  2. Hide this ad by registering as a member
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Thanked 135 Times in 62 Posts
    ok 3 things

    1. layout needs work too many panels on some page try limit yourself to 4-5 panels per page, stops you doing unnecessary panels or over cluttering the page obviously there are exceptions for set ups etc

    also the rendering nice on the first few pages gets sloppy towards the end its hard for the eye to read the images

    2. page 3 think you can cut the three panels on the top frees the page up more
    page 5 move the last panel to the next page lose the panel before that

    so you end with the panel where bad guy grabs gun then next page the payout bam she kicks him the nuts

    you need to establish where the punch in the next panel comes from

    lose the bit with the guy unzipping his pants...

    maybe after she shoots the first bad guy she heres a sound turns around and sees a bunch of angry guys running towards her she flees

    the next few pages well done,

    3. watch the image of the character she seems off model in a few pics.

    love the idea, some nice things here

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    Thanked 218 Times in 181 Posts
    I find it hard to discern the panels too. Try less black and more white. Make the images cleaner and define the points of interest more.
    "Creativity emerges only when the imagination is given the freedom it deserves."

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Thanks heaps for the advice, it's great to hear other peoples POV.

    Hear is another fairly recent comic of mine, this is probably closer to my standard art style (Although, having said that, I'm about 15 pages ahead of what I upload to the webcomic at the moment and my style/method has changed a bit again. But I can't show that in case a reader of mine happens across this and gets an 8 week in advance spoiler! ):

Similar Threads

  1. Spider Man Comic Page Skating On Thin Ice page 2
    By Drawallday in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 21st, 2013, 10:40 AM
  2. Spider Man Comic Page Skating On Thin Ice page 1
    By Drawallday in forum Art Critique Center
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: February 27th, 2013, 02:24 PM
  3. Replies: 478
    Last Post: September 15th, 2008, 07:29 AM
  4. newwork added to web page 2d/3d/comic book artist looking for work
    By thecrow in forum Artists Available for Work!
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: January 1st, 2008, 07:37 PM

Members who have read this thread: 0

There are no members to list at the moment.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Developed Actively by the makers of the Best Amazon Podcast