Eating spaghetti

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  1. #1
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    Eating spaghetti

    This is a work in progress for a children book illustration. I'd like critics and comments to improve it, thank you.

    Eating spaghetti

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    Anjin
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  3. #2
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    hey anjin- nice and playful- not too overdone- I think it's charming- the composition is nice - the brown cup in the lower left could be a different color- I say this because it is similar in color to the spaghetti and chair. The splash of blue napkin makes my eyes want a LITTLe bit more color there- D

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by DECYPL View Post
    hey anjin- nice and playful- not too overdone- I think it's charming- the composition is nice - the brown cup in the lower left could be a different color- I say this because it is similar in color to the spaghetti and chair. The splash of blue napkin makes my eyes want a LITTLe bit more color there- D
    Thank you for the comment Decypl! The color are still at work in progress, but actually are enough finished. The glass is something I want to change, I think I'll keep this color just for the liquid inside, making the glass more light.
    What's about putting some blue decoration on the yellow under the plate?

    Anjin
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    the only thing that really needs correction is the hand from the right. apart from anatomy (such as wrist, and formation of the fingers) it appears to be a 6th finger hiding under the spaggeti. when coming to think of that, that's also an antamy issue, is'nt it? hmmm....

    the overall illu. is pretty nice! i like the expression on that kid's face. the perspective of the glass seems to be off comparing to the alligntment (spelling?) of the table..or maybe the table needs to be taken higher? i'm notsure (sorry.. a bit tired), anyway there's something there that doesn't feel right.

    i know this isn't much help, but i hope it serves you at a little...

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noa K View Post
    the only thing that really needs correction is the hand from the right. apart from anatomy (such as wrist, and formation of the fingers) it appears to be a 6th finger hiding under the spaggeti. when coming to think of that, that's also an antamy issue, is'nt it? hmmm....

    the overall illu. is pretty nice! i like the expression on that kid's face. the perspective of the glass seems to be off comparing to the alligntment (spelling?) of the table..or maybe the table needs to be taken higher? i'm notsure (sorry.. a bit tired), anyway there's something there that doesn't feel right.

    i know this isn't much help, but i hope it serves you at a little...
    It's a lot! I'll fix the hand, now you said it: it's really seems to have a extra finger, but I think is just a not well colored problem. I'll fix surely the glass. Thank you, I hope you could give me your opinion for the next version.

    Anjin
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    [QUOTE=anjin;1778776]It's a lot! QUOTE]

    sorry man.. i really wanted to just point out the hand thing and then i cought the glass thing...

    hope i will catch your next update, this looks very cool !

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    now i realize i might have misunderstood your comment.. is it possible to completely earse a comment? ugh nevermind... so tired...bed. now.

    see ya later!

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  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noa K View Post
    now i realize i might have misunderstood your comment.. is it possible to completely earse a comment? ugh nevermind... so tired...bed. now.

    see ya later!
    I meant you helped me a lot... Sorry for my english, it's bad, I know...

    Anjin
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  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noa K View Post
    now i realize i might have misunderstood your comment.. is it possible to completely earse a comment? ugh nevermind... so tired...bed. now.

    see ya later!
    I meant you helped me a lot... Sorry for my english, it's bad, I know...

    Anjin
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  11. #10
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    This is the last version, I tried to fix things everybody said to me. As always critics and comments are welcome. Thank you.

    Eating spaghetti

    Anjin
    della Citta' Eterna
    "un marinaio non prega per il tempo buono... impara a navigare"
    - Anjin Art Website - - Sketchbook - - Anjin Art Blog -
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  12. #11
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    is it possible that the kid has two right hands (not lefts - his right)? the hand on the left(right hand) seems ok - but the one on the right (left hand - the one with the spagettu) seems to be "upside down":
    in that pose, where the thumb is nearest to the head, the thumb and forefinger should be in the far side of the viewer and the pinky should be the one closest to us. right now it seems to be the other way around..

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  13. #12
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    p.s
    it's not that u have bad english, it was my poor understanding due to staying the whole night up to make it to a deadline...

    p.p.s
    the glass looks better now, altough there is still some issue with the table perspective i can't put my finger on exactly..
    i would suggest you to bring the dishes closer to the boy. right now they are very far from (at least it looks that way because o the plate-napkin-table edge relations.. (gee, i really hope this is undersatndable. i always have trouble expressing myself in english when it comes to this kind of things)

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