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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    L.P., Argentina
    Thanked 54 Times in 17 Posts

    The Maiden and the Dragon

    Hi, people. I need your help today.
    This is a personal piece I've been working on... and, well, I wish it was done, but there's something that's bothering me (needless to say I don't know what is it). So, as far as I was told, the girl's arm is positioned oddly and may be too wide (even though I was aiming for a wide arm, I possibly exagerated a bit)... and something else I can't remember...
    Soooo, I dunno... Any insights you can throw on this?? it would be greatly appreciated.

    Attachment 353968

    Yours truly (?),

    Critique or don't, but please don't rate with stars cause they don't help. Stars are for hotels.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Thanked 1,498 Times in 747 Posts
    Hm. The head and the body don't go together. The head is too small and not perched properly on a neck. Tit's a bit high, too.

    It's digital, right? What I'd do is make a new layer on top and draw over the character without hair or clothes. Just to get a better feel for the contours of the body.

    It's a nice idea. Worth spending time fixing.
    I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Stoat For This Useful Post:

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Thanked 420 Times in 202 Posts
    I have to agree with Stoat, however I like the dragons skin a lot. Also the eye looks very nice (LOTR deja vu), but take away the bump in the lower left part, it has to be a smoother oval form. I also have some doubts about the green light it throws at the girl, i am not sure if a reflection of an eye can do that, anyone?

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Tommoy For This Useful Post:

  7. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    San Francisco
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
    I reeeally want to see her hand. Maybe it's just my monitor, but as is, the crop just kinda looks like you didn't want to draw it, but please do.
    There is no age in art.

    Please see my Sketchbook!

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Budapest, Hungary
    Thanked 242 Times in 162 Posts
    nice start, I like the dragon's eye. The scales are also almost perfect. Maybe they could use some highlights.
    I think the whole image could use some stronger dark and bright values (darker on the dragon and brighter on the girl maybe)
    The dragon's face looks a bit two dimensional. Adding some more shading would probably fix this issue.
    I'd drop the reflection of the girl's face in the dragon's eye. Or apply some spherical distorsions to it. It's a bit off now.
    I'd also put the girl in a more interesting position (hugging the dragon's face or so). And yes, let her do something with her hands. And fix the size of her head.
    And one more thing: Why are the highlights on the girl's hair colored green? I don't think that the dragon's eye would be so storng as a light source. And the reflection in the dragon's eye also suggest that there is a (white) light source behind the viewer.

    Anyway, keep workin' on it. this image has a great potential imho.
    "Try again, fail again,
    fail better!"
    Samuel Beckett

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  10. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Espoo, Finland
    Thanked 232 Times in 223 Posts
    I'd say redo the character, sure you can use that as a base but that might end up making it harder.

    The lady needs some work on hair. Right now I feel like you've defined separate hairs, when you mostly should of just made a nice soft base, and then done some strands on top of that.

    The fog also kind of eats the character up, making it not look like fog.

    I like everything about the dragon, but the fog again seems to eat it up quite unnaturally.

    Really nice start, the dragon is looking really fine.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Lakka For This Useful Post:

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    L.P., Argentina
    Thanked 54 Times in 17 Posts
    Thanks a bunch, people!!! Sorry I haven't replied earlier.. I just didn't continue this until yesterday.

    Stoat: Thanks a lot, man! Totally agreed here. How about now? Does it look any better*? (*check bottom of the message for recent picture)

    Tommoy: Hahah I guess your dejaVu was because of the eye? Well, it's not COMPLETELY a coincidence. This is a scene from another of Tolkien's books: "The Children of Hurin". I think I should have said that in the original message...
    I'm not sure exactly what bump you were talking about.. but hopefully it's fixed now? xD if not, please point it out to me.
    And about the light from the eye: I'm pretty sure it COULD NOT actually do that... but hey, you understood that the light was coming out from the eye, did you? I didn't have to mention it. And it's exactly what I was aiming for. Ergo, I'm satisfied. haha (: Thanks, Tommoy!

    Ashkitty: hahah No, your monitor is ok. I never really painted that hand. I did now, but I think I still need to correct it a little. Thanks! ^^

    Novbert: Let's see here. I agree with mostly everything you said. Except I woudn't take away the reflection in the eye, cause then the girl's expression would be missing, and it's very important for the general concept. Same with her position: I never mentioned it, but this is a scene from Tolkien's "Children of Hurin", in which this girl is hypnotized by the evil dragon. She's supposed to be completely blank minded, and just standing there. That's why the hug wouldn't work. haha But I appreciate the suggestion.
    About the light from the eye, check above, I answered that to Tommoy there. It wouldn't happen, no, but it's what I was going for. And the white light behind the viewer, yes... That was initially the moon. And it's light was weaker than the one from the eye (or at least that's what I wanted), so it didn't really show. Anyways, now I've changed the moon for a "sickened sun"*. (*Original quote at the bottom of this mssg)
    Thanks for the comment, Novbert!!

    Lakka: Thanks, a bunch. I think I modified everything you said (stupid fog.. >.< I should've let it until last). Uhmm.. let me know what you think now. (:

    Boy, I'm tired of writing. D:

    Original quote from "The Children of Hurin" by J.R.R. Tolkien

    Strong was the will and heart of Niënor, and she strove against Glaurung; but he put forth his power against her. 'What seek you here?' he said.
    And constrained to answer she said: 'I do but seek one Túrin that dwelt here a while. But he is dead, maybe.'
    'I know not,' said Glaurung. 'He was left here to defend the women and weaklings; but when I came he deserted them and fled. A boaster but a craven, it seems. Why seek you such a one?'
    'You lie,' said Niënor. 'The children of Húrin at least are not craven.
    We fear you not.'
    Then Glaurung laughed, for so was Húrin's daughter revealed to his malice. 'Then you are fools, both you and your brother,' said he. 'And your boast shall be made vain. For I am Glaurung!'
    Then he drew her eyes into his, and her will swooned. And it seemed to her that the sun sickened and all became dim about her; and slowly a great darkness drew down on her and in that darkness there was emptiness;she knew nothing, and heard nothing, and remembered nothing.

    The Maiden and the Dragon

    Critique or don't, but please don't rate with stars cause they don't help. Stars are for hotels.

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Thanked 651 Times in 281 Posts
    Wow, looks much better. I bet it was a pain painting all those scales. One thing only, her complexion in the eye doesn't quite match her, looks like it should have more cheeks but still... Great work

    Sketchbook .... Blog .... DevArt .... Tumblr

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Thanked 590 Times in 314 Posts
    The dragon looks really awesome. The maiden however, looks a little washed out. The lowest values on her are far too high. Check the image in grayscale to see what I mean.

  15. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
    You fixed the figure so much!

    There is so much detail in the dragon, I'd love to see some attention spent on her dress. Is it silk? should she have a belt, a bodice? Any sort of stitches or embellishments would really help sell her.

    Similar detail for her hair... I don't know this story, so don't know if the people are more like norsemen or some other European tribes, but would her hair be in braids, or adorned in any way like tied back with a leather tie, or a jeweled comb? What does her clothing say about her social standing?

    You're really close to an amazing piece here, keep going!

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