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Brilliant work Coro. You've truly demonstrated a knack for story-telling in both the intro comic and the accompanying cinematic. The story-line is marvelously planned and executed. It's a refreshingly nice read and I can't wait for updates
With the comic, there were a few paneling issues. In particular, when Bob has the little conversation with Paulnewmann right before the flashback, the dialogue felt forced in such a small space. A few more panels might have improved the spacing there, but then the new problem would arise in which too much emphasis would be placed on that little tangent.
The scene where the creatures interject at Bob's work and offer critique on his project is simply golden.
With the cinematic, that mysterious figure bears a little too much resemblance to our hero, Bob. I imagine that this was an intentional plot driven device.
Need to see more Coro - I'll be waiting for updates
The cinematic boards didn't really even need to tell us what was going on. That's good storytelling if ya ask me!
These are simply amazing bro!! 5 stars all the way! The colors you put together are incredible!! They fit the whole homeless inner city mood you have going on! I like the perspectives you used as well! Really nice work, always a treat.
Life is a long lesson in humility.
wow awesome! so you guys liked the update then!!! what a relief (whew). thanks so much for checking the new stuff out, and leaving your observations and insights. it really means a ton to me to hear what you think. so to respond to y'all...
stalsby: haah thanks a ton man. the colors are actually the easiest part, as i have painted so many cityscapes over the years it comes pretty natural now. ahhh the years of toil pay off a little here and there!!!
Quigleyer: thanks a ton man. i put alot of thought into the shot progression in the hopes that they can communicate with just pictures if need be. glad u think so!
Havoc-DM: thanks a ton bro. totally agree with you about the third page dialogue. i cant tell you how much back and forth and massaging i had to do with that shit. classic mistake of not designing the balloons into the page...what can i say, it was the third page i ever did im being much more careful now with that now haha. in the end i can live with it though. maybe ill go back and adjust once i finish the story. i have a feeling there are going to be a few places where i'm gonna wanna do that..while fighting the tempation of redoing the whole damn thing while im at it
yeah i intentionally made the main character work in a simialr field as i do, so i could try to relate more to him. its those little things like "needs more blue" that people who do design can really feel i think. helps me hide my crappy writing skills
thanks for looking, and thanks a lot for commenting. ill keep updating as i get shit done, so stay tuned
Jason Manley: thats a good point. the advantage to that is that i might actually be able to pull off a complete and original thought by not being under a pub's watchful eye....keep your fingers crossed!
DannySketch: thanks. stay tuned!
Extollere: nobody wants that more than me, my friend. start a petitiion!!! spread the word!!! somebody show Spielberg ill happily board the whole damn thing out
DECYPL: thanks so much! glad u liked the update. thanks for looking!
WODZGN: thank you sir!
HyperGiant: right on dude. stay tuned!!
DSillustration: werd dude. more to come. hope you are well these days. you need to call more often, it was nice hearing from you recently
e338: hahah thats totally the idea!!! i figure if i combined all the stuff i like to draw, i cant go wrong, right? glad you like the stuff man. love your work by the way
sve: your comments are just as valid as anyones, sveta. i appreciate your taking the time to share your impressions. i always welcome peoples thoughts about my work. even if i might no agree with it, its good to hear what lots of different folks think about my stuff. thanks again.
Dougbot: haha thanks brother!. just for the record, thats not why Dan's crying. He recently shattered my pelvis in a freak thrusting accident, and is sad cuz this shit is on lock for the next six weeks. but seriously, i cant hold a candle to that guy. im just a humble young boy, playing in a man's shadow. glad u like the sequence man. thanks for looking. hope you and yours are doing well.
kapt: haha thanks man. thanks for checking my stuff out!!! keep posting eh?
SwordOfDivineFire: thanks so much!
Mr.Delicious : well, i gotta finish the novel first thanks fo lookin bro.
Kamikazebob: haha one of these days...keep yer fingers crossed
thanks again for looking and commenting folks. stay tuned, and ill post as i can!-c36
amazing..if there is an actaully movie coming out from this storyboard im not gonna watch it cause THIS is way better and more intense!!!love it
i shall bow...
Had to re-read this topic after watching the download on the cinemtaics.
I do agree that it should be made into a comic (if possible). You might be able to convince Marko to do some pin-up/alternative covers for it to pimp it out a bit more for the comic-crowd, but in fairness...I dont think it needs it.
Everyone is looking for the "next cool thing in comic" and a story like this would fit into that IMHO.
Similar enough to stories like Hellblazer and Preacher in it's "no-shit-real-life-plus-extranatural-shit" to be interesting for people who are just into comics.
Different enough from anything out there to pull its own punches.
great work, when is it going to be published so I can buy a copy??
"Admitting that free man may err, in no way invalidates the importance of his ability to decide for himself."
"laws that forbid the carrying of arms . . . disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes . . . Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."
Hello... I'm glad that you are OK with people being not intimidated to say their first and honest impression about your images. Really glad.
I understand that critique is a double edged sword, but I don't know anything better in getting the whole truth. We increase chance of hearing something horrible and potentially harmful, but do not miss great, unexpected things as well. And you said it yourself, life is too short not to try to risk it.
I really wanted to tell you actually, that your story in the new update and the manner of your storytelling is getting very engaging, very charismatic, hot.
I think, you manner to "talk" is getting stricter and more precise. You have a talent to transfer me, your viewer into the picture. You have a really bright, honest talent to convey a feeling of air, time of day and light in your pictures.
I don't know if you realize it yourself, but the way you paint, tell the story, discloses a lot of your personality as I see it: complex, contradicting, unpredictable, ever changing, greedy to details, lacking a bit of strict taste and consistency, maybe, but very energetic, lively and passionate, very passionate. Your story is running fast, like a spring water, jumping through barriers. very alive.
So... the new update was very good, it immediately made me feel as one of the participants.
Speed feels overwhelmingly. Despite that I read the text, my thoughts were following the story non stop.
However if you will be willing to change the text, simplify it, mimic the lively, human voice, well then...this style of images will be very suitable as comics panels, not only story board for cinema.
Some of panels, the change of them are so very smooth and natural and bright, that I felt a really pleasure and adoration getting very strongly involved in the story.
Especially good are those sequences IMO, very vivid:
the last image is very good too IMO.
The best images in composition and effect and in my opinion are:
Image N4, effect of approaching Greg is wonderful and worrisome.; I do think that it would be better if you didn't use so many brim light outlines, I think they are very distractive. They stop my eyes from following the story.
I like when you define the form just by sharp changes of values like you do some in your big painterly pictures in the first update. The look stricter this way I think and air feels better for me in them.
Especially when you describe a running or a chase, like in the image N4, my eyes were stopped for awhile watching those sharp highlights of the passerby with very bright highlights.
I wish in the image with close up of two running feet, the highlight were more smeared by speed.
But you were different in the picture when Greg turned into the torch of light, and it looks very vivid and makes the story very fast going, without any breakers.
This is my favorite panels together with a panel of the suddenly appeared gruesome figure in the cloak.
I like the image with Bob's face blinded by light, most of the images with look from above down, picture with a face of the Bob, stunned and confused,
poor Greg turning from flame into pigeons
13, 21, 22 are very, very strong images. I love those.
And there are some panels which I think suffer from little, not very believable distortions of the human figure in perspective, like in the images 7 (running figure is wonderful, sitting figure feels awkward). 10, gesture of hands is too banal and figure of Greg is bit uptight, stiff. there are some stiffness in the figures in some images as well.
11: running Greg, especially his legs,,, not very good foreshortening, steals my attention form the story because it doesn't look right, makes me wonder...
12, the same, the figure of the Bob, his legs are way too thin, not consistent with his body built in the rest of the panels, he looked much more stocker.
Images of building with birds form above... perspective of the buildings look not very believable, I think... some slight distortions.
panel2, with Bob handing the mug for change... the composition is not very good with his arm and more of it his knee being almost parallel to the horizontal lines... not very pretty, static, boring... Not pretty negative spaces.
18.. foreshortening of the Greg's right arm is wrong IMO.
Hands gesture are sometimes are not very expressive, banal.
But overall, you did a lot of changes and your style is getting much more consistent, laconic and tasteful IMO.
Storytelling is very powerful in the second update. Lighting and atmosphere is very, very strong and impressionable. The comics have personal, original, sharply individual feel.
Emotion is very strong and contagious, at least for me...
Just those little distortions in proportion and perspective of characters' figures make me a bit sober and stop me from enjoying the story completely.
This is a really interesting story bum, war and monsters, who would not want to read that.
That is truely awesome!!! Love to see more and more!!
again great work man , i was definately sure Bob was a crack head but now seeing this new clipping i'm in wonder , gotta see the new clipping , man you got me in suspense ,
my sketch book NuSex's- http://www.conceptart.org/forums/sho...28#post1723528
upcoming villain/hero wip
really awesome. This is really going somewhere for real.
just make sure you hold on to that feelin'. don't stop believin'.
how did i not see this thread sooner??
so I've never been a comic book guy, and rarely when i read them am i left wanted more.
and holy crap did you have me hooked. the whole idea is brilliant! heres a world that very few of us will ever experience, let alone would want too, and shown in a new light.
i loved the intro into Bob, and love the look and feel of the villain. the crow pigeon coat is awesome.
major kudos to ya Coro, major kudos.
great up date was beginning to think it was gonna be one of those things which gets you hooked but never gets updated. really great atmospheric shots, that last part with the birds flying up into the sky is amazing, really does set the mood. great stuff, i wana see mooooooore!
Must be the coolest thing I've seen in a long long time. The comic really sucked me in from the start all the way to the end.
The problem with making this into something more, say an animation or a movie, is that I'm pretty certain that if you replaced Coro's artwork with live actors, you'd lose the shine... Unless you have a lot of amazing people and at least a 7 digit sum of money of course. While you could try to directly animate the paintings, an easier solution and also something that would keep that is to have a soundtrack, sound effects and voice actors and show the images synchronized to that. I realize even making the comic was a lot of work but in a dreamworld, ultimately in video format this would be truly something out of this world.
It's already uniquely awesome as it is though, just keep it up and I'm happy.
stay tuned guys . i got a big dump brewing. thanks so much for all the supportive comments. you all keep me going. seriously. -c36
That was really amazing. reminded me of dave mckean... really that was impressive.
I love the texture and the painted effect.
Booze and theft have certainly been done before.
But booze, theft, AND huffing?!
I'm sure Moms everywhere will be thanking you.
Seriously dude, you crack me up.
- Dan Dos Santos
the artwork is obviously great, but the STORY has me extremely interested. It's fucking awesome that MB encourages you guys to pursue stories like this one, I don't know of many other places that would do that. Man I wish I could work on the storytelling of this project! Inspiring stuff.
Your storyboards are pure candy for my little eyes ^^
Like the rest of the post btw.
= W A N D E R E R =
C O M I C B O O K A R T I S T
++ FLESH AND FOAM ++
man, i LOVE to see this thing evolving.Is since i saw your work for the first time on CA that i hoped you'd stick to this idea and develop it as it should and man...looks like you really are.
Much respect man, hope to see even more!
(btw, do you actually see those things...i mean...is it autobiographic? )
Hey coro, I love this story. And I've alway been a fan of your art. I'm wondering how much if any inspiration cane from El Paso. I don't know if you remember me we met at revelations I'm the dude from El Paso. I'm super stoaked for the next installment of transient. I'm hooked.