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So I just wanted to vent to the ca'ers
I am having a really hard time as an artist but its strange because I don't think I have ever produced better visuals or writing than I am right now. The one thing that I have been trying so desperately to achieve is making the transition from the industry I am in now to the film/videogame industry for the past year and it has been a really frustrating experience.
So last night I was offered a job at the company I am with now, one of those people really do make that kind of money every month kind of jobs...and I took it.
It is in business operations, my own office, parking space, my own staff, my own 80 hour work week...basically everything 'work' can offer.
Then this morning I woke up, saw all of my tear stained screenwriting and all of my blood soaked conceptuals sitting on my coffee table and called them back to let them know...
I can't take the job.
Am I fucking nuts?!! Can this dream of mine really matter THAT much to me?!! More than I even thought I knew?!!!
Last edited by Presence; February 2nd, 2008 at 05:41 PM.
Just hope you won't ever regret that decision because you seem to be '' not so sure'' about what you have done. If you can live with that decision, keep believing in your dreams.
Bhrazz its not about being unsure, its about not truly realizing what something is worth until its about to be taken away forever.
Last edited by Presence; February 2nd, 2008 at 07:00 PM.
Dude, I completely understand where you're coming from. Good luck
Well, I recently quit my dayjob as a chef to do this, so I understand you.
FUCK YOU YA PRETENTIOUS DICKS!! BAN ME!!
Now you just have to work hard to make sure you fulfill your dreams, and prove to yourself that you did the right thing!
It's going to be tough, but every morning you're going to wake up with thoughts of what you could've had, and how what you're going for is worth so much more.
And every morning, these thoughts will drive you to pick up your pencil and sketchbook and get to working on that dream.
I know, practically, it would be more logical to have taken the job and tried to fit art into your life. But we're artists, we weren't meant to be that practical. It's a romantic and noble thing you've done, and while life may try to prove it a mistake through all the things it'll throw your way, it is up to you now to prove your decision was the correct one by working your ass off and fulfilling that dream.
Yeah, i was recently in the same position as you.. work in the advertising industry with a constant paycheck and being bossed all the time by marketers from the agency's clients, or dedicate myself to my own projects and freelancing, being my own boss? I really did have enough of advertising... it isn't for me. It's hard man, so do your best and make those dreams come true... GOOD FORTUNE!
PS: You are fucking nuts! Fucking nuts enough to dream! go for it man, don't let yourself down... pursue your dream, make it your reason of existence.
You know, up until 2004 I was always working "for someone else". Three years till 2004, it was a state university as an office manager to one of the departments.
Not glamorous, but as a state employee, I had good benefits plus a decent monthly wage. I hated every second. I've always hated working in an office. In 05, my SO suggested I finally enroll in school and work on my degree in the arts - and here I am.
I've been lucky as he's been supporting my ass since 06. But, I haven't been slacking - I draw at least every other day. And when I'm not drawing, I'm reading about drawing or painting. I could be working for the state uni or continued working for the city here - but I have a goal and by golly, I'm gonna make it.
So I applaud your gumption. I've been there and know what you're going through. It's not an easy road, but hell, if it were it'd be boring, eh? So...get to work!
+ 56 hours of sleep / week
=> 168 - 80 - 56
-7 hours for food/sanitairy stuff.
= 25 hours of free time to draw.
That's exactly half of what you need to advance at the most perfect space, so at most, you'll be taking twice the time while collecting a nice piggybank.
I freelanced for a few years, then I took the damn job. Twenty five years later, and I'm about to leave it. But...no regrets.
I was once on the receiving end of a critique so savagely nasty, I marched straight out of class to the office and changed my major (sketchbook).
With the sounds of it that job you could have had would leech all the time you would have had for drawing/painting/etc. So really you chose to keep your passion rather than being sunk into the lure of money. Good job!
Although money is luring...
And at the same time you have to keep sane...
"If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."
- Joseph Campbell
Last edited by eskanto; February 4th, 2008 at 09:43 AM.
Good choice mate -- see you on the other side of the fence some time soon
Your own office - it makes you proud, you own it, you are happy right?
Your own parking space - pride, significance, importance. In the end it makes you happy right?
Your own staff - Does that make you happy?
Your own 80hr work week - Make you happy again?
Essentially every single thing that the job gave you made you happy. If it didn't make you happy you wouldn't have typed them out as the "perks of the job that I gave up". Make sense?
What happens whenever you see those tear stained screenwrites and those blood soaked concepts sitting on the coffee table? It makes you happy right?
Sounds like to me you just cut out all the bullshit and went straight for what matters. Life is all about making decisions man. Once you make a decision you never look behind you. All you have to do now is ACT on the decision (in the form of work) and you will keep that decision from being a regretful one.
If you don't have anyone (like a kid) dependent upon you, then do what you gotta do.
"If one advances confidently in the direction of
his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he
has imagined, he will meet with a success
unexpected in common hours."
- H.D. Thoreau
Kudos! I would have done the same thing. 80-hour work week...that's bull! Go for what makes you happy rather than what makes you wealthier or more "glamorous" in the sense of the classic "American Dream." You're following your own dream and no one can tell you it's wrong.
One of the key things I remember from my mom was "Remember son, this is all a test."
Today I was just called to interview for a new segment director position for a tv series.
I think I might have passed the test...But honestly all of you are amazing, this entire community is just mind blowing to me at times.
Thank you everyone!
And see? Now your about to make it good...this is inspiring....makes me feel like I made the right move and got out of the kitchen...Good for you man, now keep it up and dont let it fall. Everyone is telling me to go get a job, get something real, but im following my dreams, and now making more in a few months then I would have in the kitchens.
FUCK YOU YA PRETENTIOUS DICKS!! BAN ME!!